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Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 278
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 278 |
Last summer we had the house painted and he argued that we shouldn't change the color. OMG, that is too funny. Yes, that is EXACTLY what I mean. In fact we're planning on sprucing up the living room a bit and last night, he begged (and I mean begged!) us to repaint the living room turquoise. His reasoning was that it's a perfect blend of his and DS4's favourite colours. Never mind that it would give me a headache every time I would walk into the room... Ha!
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 358
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 358 |
I know this kid. He is 13 now and lives at my house.
He now laughs at himself sometimes when he is like this but he still ALWAYS has an opinion about everything.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897 |
my dd was like this, and still is somewhat -- unable to hear part of a conversation without knowing every molecule of what is going on, making up some rules we need to follow about the situation and, at least in the past, getting upset if I would say all that was a bit much.
she does now have a diagnosis of adhd, and one of the major issues is an inability, some of the time, to stop talking ....verbally commanding the room, or something like that. Exhausting, for sure. Especially because the rest of us are just a bunch of introverts who want to be left alone.
Getting better as she is more in tune with it, and we are able to be nicer to her about it as it has gotten a bit under control.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5 |
Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (aka, collaborative problem solving, prior to copyright dispute with MGH), which takes a strength-based and win-win approach: "The Explosive Child" www.livesinthebalance.orgThis has been a very useful book in our house, too. We bought it when our DS was 5 or 6. First time he saw it, he was excited, "Did you buy me a new chemistry book?"
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100 |
DD12 lost her mind last night when she unloaded the dishwasher that DS8 had filled and washed. He put the plates in backward! Can you imagine?!?  lol, I have this this child at home, he is so particular about the way everyday things should be done, while his brother is so laid back, it drives him nuts!
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 100 |
I know this kid. He is 13 now and lives at my house.
He now laughs at himself sometimes when he is like this but he still ALWAYS has an opinion about everything. This is so comforting, I can't wait for the day my DS10 will laugh at himself with regards to this.
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 24
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 24 |
Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (aka, collaborative problem solving, prior to copyright dispute with MGH), which takes a strength-based and win-win approach: "The Explosive Child" www.livesinthebalance.orgThis has been a very useful book in our house, too. We bought it when our DS was 5 or 6. First time he saw it, he was excited, "Did you buy me a new chemistry book?" Oh my goodness -- that is hilarious stemfun!! I love it!!! Our DS5 is not like your son in this regard, RRD, but I am starting to recognize that I sometimes am! I get so agitated sometimes when rules aren't followed or when things don't go as I think they should, even in rather silly and inconsequential settings. It does give me something to laugh at myself about but it can be a bit annoying for others, I'm sure. There have been times when I have walked away from a situation and have to seriously question why I needed to be so intense. I think the good side of this tendency is that you can be very passionate about things and, accordingly, can really stand up for things you believe in etc. On the flip side, it can be hard for someone like this to delegate authority on the fear that no one else will possibly do the job right. I guess the challenge is to teach a passionate and intense person like your son to pick his battles, which is not always easy to do.
Last edited by HJA; 06/08/16 09:07 AM.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,498
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,498 |
He is just completely exhausting. Friends will sometimes see this and say "Oh, it's kind of cute." Maybe it would be, if it weren't ALL THE TIME.  Anyone else? Kind cute, maybe. It may also be kinda ODD, as in oppositional defiance disorder. ODD has very specific diagnostic criteria; I wouldn't suggest that it's the case for most intense children. As recently discussed on another thread, children with anxiety or ASD can also be prone to this kind of inflexible thinking. And many gifted children without disabilities can be intense about their ideas, as well.
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 381
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 381 |
Yes - we have this child, too. The other day, in a state of total exasperation I sarcastically asked DS8 if we had to negotiate every single thing. He answered with absolute sincerity, "well yes, we have to. That way we know we are getting it right." To be clear - I firmly believe this is a nearly physical need for "rightness," not defiance.
Quick ETA- DS has been assessed and is PG but not found to be ASD or ODD. Just a very, very intense kid.
Last edited by suevv; 06/08/16 11:41 AM.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,254 Likes: 7
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,254 Likes: 7 |
He is just completely exhausting. Friends will sometimes see this and say "Oh, it's kind of cute." Maybe it would be, if it weren't ALL THE TIME. Anyone else? Kind cute, maybe. It may also be kinda ODD, as in oppositional defiance disorder. ODD has very specific diagnostic criteria; I wouldn't suggest that it's the case for most intense children. I also did not suggest that ODD was the case for most intense children. Please note that I provided links to two resources with further discussion of the topic, including "Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses". Unfortunately, you cropped these out when you posted a reply. Because you mentioned diagnostic criteria, here is another link. This one provides information on diagnostic changes from DSM-IV to DSM-5, including those for ODD. As recently discussed on another thread, children with anxiety or ASD can also be prone to this kind of inflexible thinking. In this thread's OP I don't see mention of anxiety or ASD. Are you suggesting that the parent look into these? And many gifted children without disabilities can be intense about their ideas, as well. Absolutely. The links I provided in my first hasty post on this thread discussed intensity.
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