Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional social skills

NB, DS here can't do those either, at all. Hard to convince anyone that is a can't, isn't it?

Hugs.

I can do it but I see no reason that I should be required too share private details with a stranger. Because of this I find it very hard and am likely to refuse.

In a few months DS will be submitting the mother of all "about me" essays: the college application essay. The mere mention of it brings him to the brink of tears. Worse, there's one for the Common App (an online base form that many colleges use to hold your basic information) in addition to the one each school asks for.

This.

First day of the 4th grade GT class my son was asked to write one of these essays. He wrote 2 sentences while most other kids wrote 1 1/2-3 pages. Teacher told me at the first parent-teacher conference that this had her very worried that it was a bad placement. Turned out 6th grade of the program it WAS a very bad fit and this was a sign of other troubles to come. Although she came to have a lot of affection for my son & said he reminded her a lot of her own kid. My son had an extremely hard time talking about himself and we now have it in his 504 that teachers need to re-frame prompts like this.

I'm worried about that college essay. I intend to hire him a college essay tutor. Although he claims he already knows what he wants to write about.

So not long ago I had a student who balked at writing a personal narrative for me on an assessment. I tried "it doesn't have to be your actual favorite," "pretend", "just pick something", and "I just need a writing sample." Got ~30 words tossed off with a sneer and an expletive, which might crack double-digit percentiles. Might. We then had a serious little talk about long-term implications of blowing off your IEP testing. After some obligatory ennui on the part of the student, we finally negotiated a second attempt on the essay, with the revised prompt, "pick something you care about" followed by the remaining standard directions. This time, the student generated an essay above the 90th %ile.

I think that is often the key--something you care about. You don't have to write about yourself, just about a topic you care about. Most teachers consider both pieces of writing to be "about me".

Some people find it truly disturbing to be asked to share about themselves-- even if they generally want to comply.

Our best writing successes have come with this book, which has a ton of writing prompts that are not personal:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unjournaling-dawn-diprince/1110793498

Aeh, we've already talked about DS' college essay focusing on the mathematical concept he's been working on all year, or the math-music project he worked on for class. But it still brings him grief. An English assignment was to propose a solution to a world problem (and you had a couple of choices, I think) and he came up with a good idea, but: "Mom, it's for the Gates Foundation. BILL Gates. He might read it. It has to be really outside the box and usable."

Just got notice that University of CA posted new prompts for next year.

http://admission.universityofcalifornia.edu/how-to-apply/personal-questions/freshman/index.html

These questions look a bit better framed than the old questions. But it's not one question, instead write 4/8 shorter answers. Not sure if this is going to be easier or harder. Of course the kid could just apply to schools without an essay requirement. (The Cal States don't require essays.) But I think that might be selling himself short.

I'll look at the book. What was particularly frustrating was 7th grade "health" which was the first trimester of science. School thankfully moved DS's science teacher after a miserable 1st week with a teacher who was requiring 3 written affirmations each day. I was pulling my hair out & it was only the first week of school. DS certainly has NO interest in sharing with this teacher he barely knew. And has never been very good at just "bullsh*ting" anything which is what many of the other kids would do. (Junior High science was a total waste of time IMO.)

I may be overthinking this, but I'm stuck on the idea that it's self-preservation, for some of our kids who haven't been treated especially well.

I really like pb's idea about having a stock answer on hand. It was really helpful to me when I realized that "tell me about yourself" in a job interview could be answered with references to education and work experience. Before I understood that, I always felt like a deer in the headlights.