Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion New here - How do you know your child is gifted?

Sorry in advance for the length, wasn't sure where to start.

My son is 5 1/2 and in Kindergarten. He went to a very small preschool and had a lot of one on one time with his teacher. In kindergarten he is doing amazingly well academically. He's reading, he's great at math. He picks up on things so quickly. Somehow he understand the concept of multiplying. I asked him randomly one day (trying to prove to him he wasn't THAT smart) how much 2x3 was and he said "6. Because 3 + 3 is 6. While in shock I asked what is 8 x 10 and he said 80. (he proved me wrong I guess). He has a great vocabulary, he hears a word and will use it (and use it accurately). Once he told me he wanted to take a snack somewhere just incase he got a little peckish and I thought he was making up a word.

I think he's... bright. But, is he gifted? What exactly does that even mean? When I think of gifted I think of little geniuses who graduate high school when they are 10... I don't think of my little guy.

He was really pretty average until some time between 2 and 3 years old. at one point when he was 2 I actually had wondered if he had a delay but at some point that changed. By the time he started pre-school he was wowing his teacher with the full sentences and big words he was using.

Today, he's having behavior issues at school. I think a lot of it is sensory related (currently fighting the school for an SPD evaluation, I believe he is sensory seeking) BUT I am also wondering if some of it is boredom. As I began researching trying to figure our what his issue is I see that some gifted children do have some behavior issues.

He has not been tested yet. The only test I am aware the school has performed on him is the STAR Early literacy test. He got a 812 on it and he's in the 98th percentile. I wish they tested for math.

I am in NY. I'm pretty sure our school district doesn't have a gifted and talented program, from what I've read I don't think many schools in our area do.

I don't know if testing him is the right thing to do and if it is even where to start.

I didn't want your post hanging out there with no response. Believe me - we have some amazing experts here who can give you perspectives on how testing can help and how to advocate for your child at school.

But first - behavior issues. I want you to have some comfort here. I don't think anybody has ever done a poll here, but I'm betting that a HUGE percentage of highly/profoundly gifted kids have behavior struggles in elementary school and beyond. My DS8 (who is in second grade and is a Davidson Young Scholar) sure does. And if I gave you details, I'll bet you'd be raising an eyebrow or two!

There are lots of factors making it tougher on these kiddos. First - you have a boy, and elementary school is just generally stinko for little boys. And he's a very bright boy, bright enough that he feels different, probably. And that's hard, too. Especially when he gets peckish

And - if you read much about giftedness, you'll learn about asynchrony. These kids develop on paths that are NOT lock step with what you are told to expect. In some ways they develop faster than typical. Some slower. It only serves to give you and them a bit of whiplash when trying to navigate this new world called "school."

And - HG/PG kids are often extremely sensitive. Read up on Dabrowski's overexcitabilities to learn more about this. You're already headed in the right direction, given that you're checking for sensory processing issues. This also plays out in extremely strong feeling about many things. There is a beautiful essay that captures this - beginning with the words "A touch is a blow." Maybe somebody knows the article and can link it.

Finally, many HG/PG kids come bundled with a learning disability. They are referred to as twice exceptional (2e). That adds an extra level of challenge. E.g., my son is dyslexic (even though he reads grade levels ahead so the school struggles to understand it) and dysgraphic (and everybody who sees his handwriting understands that RIGHT AWAY!!).

This can all make raising a HG/PG kid challenging and somewhat exhausting. On the other hand, the HG/PG kids I've come to know are a joy and a bit of a miracle to see, in my opinion. It's stunning and exhilarating and inspiring to watch them experiment and learn. It's a wild ride - but one I'd never want to miss!

I could go on and on - but look for the "you know you're raising a gifted kid" thread and the "quirky" thread on this board. I think you'll find some of the posts resonate with what's going on in your house.

As to testing - it's hard to know when/how to invest in this. Others will have more educated advice here. I'll just make a couple points. First - when you decide to do it, go to somebody who is experienced with gifted kids. It will be worth it. After we did, I realized we were throwing away money when we talked to specialists that didn't understand HG/PG. Second - for us, we finally did a full neuropsychological assessment. I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed everything for us. You can search on my posts, and find details. But bottom line - super expensive, and absolutely, positively helpful and worth it.

I totally banged this out while DS was in the tub. Sorry if it's incoherent. Just wanted to reach out and say "Hi, Welcome, and you're in the right place!"

Sue

Your son does sound like he might be gifted. It is highly unusual for a child that age to do multiplication.

Practically, if you read your school's handbook, you will see if they have anything in place for a gifted evaluation. It is probably available on their website for download.

That way you know where the school stands and if there is any process you can ask them to start of if you will need to get an outside evaluation. Good luck!

Darn - wrote up a big response and then something happened. Short version -

- self doubt, underestimation - check (triple check is probably more accurate there - we even had to test DS twice which showed we underestimated him even after testing the first time)
- early delays - check - DS was in free government speech therapy for a couple years as a toddler
- asynchronous - check
- behavior issues - check

Great advice above. Start with your school and figure out if they will do testing and if so when. Ours does but it is a group screening at the end of grade 3 which was too late for both of our kids. They needed stuff in grade 1 or things were quickly going downhill. It also wouldn't have been enough to unravel DS's 2e issues.

If they don't do testing (or it is much later, or you suspect something there might be more than *just* gifted) then consider outside testing. If you do this route it is good to know where your school stands on outside testing before jumping in. Do they accept outside testing? Are there certain tests they accept? timing (our board wants recent results), etc. Like suevv, testing changed EVERYTHING for us so in our case it was invaluable.

I will also say that I think you're in the right place. Gifted covers a pretty wide range many of which are not graduating high school at age 10. I think it would be a pretty safe bet that your DS is somewhere in that range - the challenge/fun is getting an idea of approximately where. For us getting an idea of just how far to the right they are has helped us understand just how unusual they are in a school system designed to meet the needs of most kids.

hello David'sMommy!

it's funny - i haven't been around here in a long time, but my first post was (i think!) nearly exactly like yours.

my daughter, now 8, had a terrible, terrible time in her first year of school, too. she covered her distress for a while, but eventually she couldn't hold it together anymore and we started hearing (and noticing) deeply disturbing behavioural issues. she just wasn't herself at all, and it turned out to be a combination of things - every single one related to her giftedness. no matter how hard she worked at fitting in, she didn't: not academically, and not socially. you and your son are NOT alone. i think a lot of people arrive here when there's a crisis - if nothing was wrong, you wouldn't be asking the questions.

i know you're at the start of your investigation into giftedness, and you'll probably feel a ton of relief as you read more posts and chat with the experts here, but i did want to mention one thing. it's easy to question whether your child is actually gifted because in many ways (though the pace of learning will likely continue to shock you!) your child seems normal to you! i always say it's a little like being on the highway - you get used to the speed, and only notice how fast you were going when you come off the ramp.

all the best!

DG

Welcome!

You've received great replies above. I'll just add that the definition of "gifted" provides at least a partial answer to your question. Definitions of gifted can be found on many websites, including the US Department of Education (USDOE), National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC), The Davidson Database, Hoagies Gifted Education Page, and others.

There are also lists of commonly observed traits of gifted kids (such as early math and/or reading) on these websites and others.

Individuals who have tested in the intellectually gifted range (generally IQ 132+) may have exhibited early math skills and/or advanced vocabulary however not all precocious children are also intellectually gifted.

Advanced vocabulary can be a sign of giftedness and/or reflect the words and phrases which a child commonly hears in an enriched environment.

Over time, if the use of vocabulary seems to develop in a manner which others may describe as stilted, formal, or pedantic and does not help a child connect with others, this may possibly be a sign that the child is on the autism spectrum. And/or would make a good lawyer someday.

If a child is both gifted and has a learning difference/disability, this called twice exceptional (2e) and the child is eligible for special education services such as remediation/accommodation to help them fully access their education. This can help a child connect well with others to best develop his/her gifts. The Wrights Law website is an excellent source of information.

Testing may help reveal your child's profile.

In general, giftedness can occur in one or more realms: athletic, artistic/creative, leadership, intellectual, and/or specific academic strength. In addition to exceptional gifts, children may have one or more learning differences or learning disabilities therefore be termed twice-exceptional (2e). For the most part, gifted forums focus less on athletic gifts because there are other sources of support for developing those gifts, and focus more on developing the gifts and meeting the needs toward the end of the lists earlier in this paragraph.

That being said, misbehavior must be addressed; being gifted does not explain or justify poor social skills. Testing may help determine whether mismatched curriculum may be at the root of the misbehavior (for example, greater academic challenge keeps your child mentally occupied and behaving) or whether your child may also have a learning difference or learning disability (and may benefit from remediation and/or direct training in social skills). As many topics on the forum tend to repeat, there are old threads on these topics, which may be of interest.

Welcome! A great place to start is Hoagies. It's an amazing web resource, with a 101 page designed just for people in your state. There's tons of info there about what gifted is (and isn't), all about testing and how to decide whether to do it, and all the fun bonus features so many of our kids come with, as alluded to above.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm

Suevv, is this it?

Pearl S. Buck, (1892-1973), recipient of the Pulitzer Prize in 1932 and of the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1938, said the following about Highly Sensitive People:

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:

A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.

Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating." -Pearl S. Buck

Couldn't help but look it up.

First, welcome to the forum, David'sMommy. I hope you find lots of helpful stories and advice here. So much can be gleaned just by digging through the archives. And, of course, we love to help answers questions / provide insight / share experiences as well.

Well, some may, but that is by far not the majority of gifted kids. Gifted does not necessarily mean accelerated. Unfortunately, I think shows like Child Genius in some ways perpetrate the myth that, in order to be gifted, you have to be able to perform at that level. In reality, most gifted kids (and even some kids who would have fallen into the old "genius" category) might seem like normal, extremely well-adjusted and sociable kids (I have one of these).

Sounds really familiar, as you basically described my DS. He's the kind of kid that has processes lots of stuff in his head before he can demonstrate something, but then, once he does demonstrate it, it's superior to his age mates. Often by a long shot. He did this with reading as well (went from being able to read basic, broken sentences on week to being able to read at the 4th grade level the next).

One thing I'd recommend at this point is that, if you do take him to get an individual intelligence assessment (particularly if you are considering the Wechsler), wait until he is 6 so that he can take the WISC. It has a higher ceiling than the WPPSI.

Best of luck!

I would second the suggestion for testing. We thought our kid was average/high average but testing proved otherwise. It really helped clarify what we needed to do to meet his needs.

Gifted kids may well have gifted parents, so our parental perception of what is "average" can be skewed to the high side. This is a big part of what made testing so useful for us.