Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments How do you know if an acceleration is successful?

Hi, I�m new to this forum and I�m hopeful that more experienced parents can comment and help guide our family.

My very introverted DD4 started kindergarten early this fall on a GIEP. At age 3 she tested at a composite IQ of 155 with solid performance overall but stellar performance in math and both her preschool and the IEP committee felt that early entrance was indicated.

Kindergarten was rough for the first 9 weeks for all the usual reasons: more rules, faster moving curriculum, bigger kids (now 1-2 years ahead of her). She takes a long time to adjust to new social situations anyway, and this was a new challenge.

During the second quarter we started to see odd behaviors that escalated rapidly: complaints of nausea and tummy aches, vomiting in the lunchroom � to the point where they were sending her to the nurses� station daily and finally just started sending her home, vomiting in social settings which were loud or crowded, and frequent messages from the real time app the teacher uses about correction of things like chewing on her hair, chewing on her shirt, not folding her hands behind her back in the queue to the cafeteria, tying knots in her uniform belt. Her pediatrician agreed that these appeared to be behavioral issues. Without telling us, the teacher began holding her in at recess especially because of the chewing on her clothes despite that not being particularly disruptive to the classroom. When I asked DD about why she thought this was happening she began saying things like �well, it�s hard when you�re four and you�re in kindergarten, and you�re small��. Shortly thereafter, I heard both the kindy teacher and the counselor use the same phrase. We brainstormed with the school about other socially more acceptable ways she could get sensory input while being asked to sit still and they implemented one.

During the third quarter, she started having screaming fits in the morning about not wanting to go to school and how she just wanted to go back to her preschool �where I belong.� She explained that �I like it at [my preschool] better because in one day you do 10 things but at [my kindergarten] they try to do 100 things� which seemed reasonable. However, we went on a play date with a close friend of hers and I overheard the friend say to her �You�re not supposed to be in kindergarten. You�re only four. You�re just a baby.� And DD turned to me with moist eyes and said, �See?� and it broke my heart. I spoke to that child�s parent who was horrified and then after a long talk with my somewhat unreliable historian of a daughter, it turns out that groups of kindy kids had been teasing her about her age. My husband and I talked it over and worked out some social stories she could use, but the teasing persisted so I spoke to the school counselor and the teasing abruptly stopped.

Now we�re heading into the last quarter and her midterm report shows sagging marks in reading and all around mediocre scores in effort. She�s an extremely verbal, articulate child and she has never once mentioned anything positive about school or what she�s learning or doing. When we went to her latest progress report review, the teacher mentioned that DD4 had tested into a more advanced reading group that would have required her to leave her general classroom for an hour a day, which she felt would be overwhelming for DD, so she held her in the regular classroom. I was not happy about the decision, given that DD leaves the general classroom for 3 hours every week for her gifted class anyway and without difficulty, but was not offered the opportunity to have any input into the decision. Her kindy teacher is leaving on maternity leave on Friday and the other children have cried or written her stories or expressed how much they�ll miss her and my DD, who is otherwise very empathetic and EMO, seems disinterested.

That being said, she now has a large stable of good friends from kindergarten and I feel like she�s overall happy socially even though she continues to verbally express being discontented. It just saddens me that she does not appear to be engaged by the kindergarten curriculum at all, but I suspect that the material is appropriately challenging since she�s performing at an average level. She seems happiest in her pull out gifted program at school.

We�ve tried to diversify her leaning environment with outside gifted programs, of which she is likewise mum about content, but appears to be enjoying herself immensely and seems eager to get there.

Has anyone had similar experiences where an accelerated young child did not acclimate quickly or well in a school setting? How did it work out years later? Did you decide to repeat a year? How would you approach the new substitute kindy teacher or the first grade teacher next year?

This is a tough one, but my suggestion is you also consider that the teachers may be doing a bad job creating a good environment for your daughter. The reason I suggest this is because of the way she is repeating these things from the school counselor and teacher which seem to reflect a feeling that she does not belong there. It is not her job to belong, but that is a classroom management issue.

Another thought is that could could take her out of school till she is older but still have her be accelerated into an older grade. She probably would still learn quite a bit just reading at home.

I would not assume that she is appropriately challenged, just because she's performing at an average level. The setting appears to be rife with both adults and children (who take their cue from adults) who believe your DD does not belong there (though it sounds like she also has good friends). She clearly is a perceptive and sensitive child, who likely has figured out, consciously or otherwise, that she will most readily please her teacher by performing at a mediocre level. If she tested into the advanced group, then she should not be performing at an average level.

I agree with Howdy that it seems more like an issue with the school/class management. Your description seems to show that the school has embedded a huge importance on age relative to grade that the other children are reflecting back.

We started DS at a local private school right as he turned 4 into a class where most of the kids were turning 5... but no one said a peep to him about age. We got that at his daycare, with the older kids making a big deal of DS being younger (who was 3 then) among the 4-5 year olds (he hated the 3s room and wanted to get out of there so daycare moved him into pre-k, and pre-k mixed with the private k class all the time). However, his current school downplay age - their stance is that if you are placed into a class, you belong there. His teachers are aware he is a lot younger, and they are aware of his developmental path relative to his age as being appropriate but do not see that as a reason he does not belong there. In fact, other than when the birthday party invitations come out, I don't think the kids really pay attention to how old their classmates are or age of the kids they play with at recess and before/after school.

If it is indeed a cultural aspect of that school, you may not be able to get away from that easily. And your DD's disinterest in the Kindy teacher going on leave would be a concern for me as a bad fit. My DD (3.5), when she does not like someone, will just shutdown and withdraw (and then take it out on us at home). For my DD, how she views her relationship to a teacher is very important. We have been lucky so far that those experiences has been limited to sub teachers or outside activities - but those times really has made me aware that if we get a bad personality fit, she is going to be withdrawn and she will just not perform (she most likely won't act out in school, but most likely will just not put any effort into her activities either).

ITA with howdy and notnafnaf re that this seems to be an issue with the school. It also sounds (to me) like it's a school that's very focused on achievement perhaps more than exploration and learning for the sake of learning - and honestly, this is only kindergarten. I'm just wondering if, overall, you might ought to think about what other *school* options are available, rather than wondering if your dd should have or shouldn't have been accelerated.

She sounds miserable at school - is this a small school with only one kindergarten class, or are there other classes? If so, could you ask to move her to a different classroom? Then look at options for different schools? If you don't have other options for moving her to a different school or at least a different classroom, I'd consider taking her out of school this year. Acceleration might happen anyway next year, or if she's not ready next year, it doesn't mean she won't be ready and able to accelerate in a future year. JMO, but I believe a child's mental health and developing their self-image is much more important than the grade they are in during the school day. If you pay attention to that, the rest should sort itself out.

Best wishes,

polarbear

The chewing is probably due to stress. Punishing her for being stressed is not likely to help.

Your daughter sounds miserable and the school sounds awful. I can't tell you what to do, but I wouldn't maintain status quo. New school, pulling her out, different class, something.

I would personally make decisions for her well-being now rather than in the future. My husband got grade-skipped, put down two years (new school, didn't speak the language), back up one, and finally grade-skipped again. The decision you make now isn't your last chance to have an accelerated child.

Our five-year-old at another school would need a grade skip. We're holding off because he's happy and well-adjusted. Get her somewhere where she's happy and well-adjusted, and then work out the academic part. Academics are such a minor part of the early years that it's a shame for a child to experience so much unnecessary stress.

TNMama, I agree with previous posters on school not providing a secure environment for your child. Kindergarten is really light on academics but heavy on rules. Good schools/teachers know that even 5 year old need to move and have plenty of downtime and provide it while teaching children the rules of social interactions. Bad school/teachers punish children for not following stupid rules that make no sense to a child, i.e. Chewing ones hair or shirt. My dd chewed her hair/shirt constantly when she was 4 because it comforted her and helped her concentrate. IMHO, young children need more play than rules. So if you can find a school, maybe a mixed grade classroom school, where age does not matter, your child might be able to be a child but still be challenged to her level. Your dd seems like a very perceptive and sensitive child. I would talk to her in detail about how she feels and what she wants. Hope you find a good solution.

Welcome!

Sorry your child is going through this, although two strong positives are that she is making friends, and that she has articulated her feelings so that you're aware of how she has been experiencing her learning environment at different points along the way.

This may not be legal, check your State laws to see whether parents are to be involved in decision-making. Also check your school and/or district policies, often found online at the school and/or district website.

Many topics tend to repeat on the forums. Look at the advocacy threads and follow their links to online information and resources. Basically successful advocacy consists of politely/collaboratively partnering with a teacher, school and/or district while holding learning environments accountable to following their own stated policies, industry-wide best practices, and local laws. In other words, it is not a matter of a parent thinking/wishing/hoping things would be done differently/better, but rather it is a matter of focusing on experts having set forth policies, best practices, and laws for institutions to follow.

The Iowa Acceleration Scale (IAS) is the tool often referred to as best-practices and the standard for whole-grade acceleration. Use of the IAS sets the stage for a supportive classroom environment for the accelerated student.

One grade-level acceleration is often not enough to meet the needs of a profoundly gifted student. Hoagies Gifted Education Page has listed lots of interesting resources to support parents of exceptionally and profoundly gifted students. That said, IQ tends to stabilize around 8 years old, and retesting at that time is often recommended.

There are several old threads on radical acceleration and things to consider as they may impact the child's education and life experiences in later years (such as not driving when classmates are driving, etc). Here is an old thread with links to many other threads on this topic.

Lastly, with your child's high IQ score, you may wish to apply for the Davidson Young Scholars (DYS) program once she turns 5.

Also - I would say too, make it important to talk to your DD and let her know you are listening to her and working on finding a solution. She is talking to you now and I like to think that means she still feels there is a chance for her situation to change for the better. It is when they clam up that the issues could get even more serious because the last thing you want is for them to give up hope that this misery will end or lose their love of learning.