Hi, I�m new to this forum and I�m hopeful that more experienced parents can comment and help guide our family.
My very introverted DD4 started kindergarten early this fall on a GIEP. At age 3 she tested at a composite IQ of 155 with solid performance overall but stellar performance in math and both her preschool and the IEP committee felt that early entrance was indicated.
Kindergarten was rough for the first 9 weeks for all the usual reasons: more rules, faster moving curriculum, bigger kids (now 1-2 years ahead of her). She takes a long time to adjust to new social situations anyway, and this was a new challenge.
During the second quarter we started to see odd behaviors that escalated rapidly: complaints of nausea and tummy aches, vomiting in the lunchroom � to the point where they were sending her to the nurses� station daily and finally just started sending her home, vomiting in social settings which were loud or crowded, and frequent messages from the real time app the teacher uses about correction of things like chewing on her hair, chewing on her shirt, not folding her hands behind her back in the queue to the cafeteria, tying knots in her uniform belt. Her pediatrician agreed that these appeared to be behavioral issues. Without telling us, the teacher began holding her in at recess especially because of the chewing on her clothes despite that not being particularly disruptive to the classroom. When I asked DD about why she thought this was happening she began saying things like �well, it�s hard when you�re four and you�re in kindergarten, and you�re small��. Shortly thereafter, I heard both the kindy teacher and the counselor use the same phrase. We brainstormed with the school about other socially more acceptable ways she could get sensory input while being asked to sit still and they implemented one.
During the third quarter, she started having screaming fits in the morning about not wanting to go to school and how she just wanted to go back to her preschool �where I belong.� She explained that �I like it at [my preschool] better because in one day you do 10 things but at [my kindergarten] they try to do 100 things� which seemed reasonable. However, we went on a play date with a close friend of hers and I overheard the friend say to her �You�re not supposed to be in kindergarten. You�re only four. You�re just a baby.� And DD turned to me with moist eyes and said, �See?� and it broke my heart. I spoke to that child�s parent who was horrified and then after a long talk with my somewhat unreliable historian of a daughter, it turns out that groups of kindy kids had been teasing her about her age. My husband and I talked it over and worked out some social stories she could use, but the teasing persisted so I spoke to the school counselor and the teasing abruptly stopped.
Now we�re heading into the last quarter and her midterm report shows sagging marks in reading and all around mediocre scores in effort. She�s an extremely verbal, articulate child and she has never once mentioned anything positive about school or what she�s learning or doing. When we went to her latest progress report review, the teacher mentioned that DD4 had tested into a more advanced reading group that would have required her to leave her general classroom for an hour a day, which she felt would be overwhelming for DD, so she held her in the regular classroom. I was not happy about the decision, given that DD leaves the general classroom for 3 hours every week for her gifted class anyway and without difficulty, but was not offered the opportunity to have any input into the decision. Her kindy teacher is leaving on maternity leave on Friday and the other children have cried or written her stories or expressed how much they�ll miss her and my DD, who is otherwise very empathetic and EMO, seems disinterested.
That being said, she now has a large stable of good friends from kindergarten and I feel like she�s overall happy socially even though she continues to verbally express being discontented. It just saddens me that she does not appear to be engaged by the kindergarten curriculum at all, but I suspect that the material is appropriately challenging since she�s performing at an average level. She seems happiest in her pull out gifted program at school.
We�ve tried to diversify her leaning environment with outside gifted programs, of which she is likewise mum about content, but appears to be enjoying herself immensely and seems eager to get there.
Has anyone had similar experiences where an accelerated young child did not acclimate quickly or well in a school setting? How did it work out years later? Did you decide to repeat a year? How would you approach the new substitute kindy teacher or the first grade teacher next year?
