Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments My DS12 won't go to school. Distributed learning?

So far it doesn't feel like a huge insurmountable thing. Just a bump that needs working out. Fortunately the school is on board. DS is sick again - legitimately - so he hasn't been able to give the new changes a go yet. I'm very interested to see how it will help.

The next bump/obstacle/event is which high school. One extremely close to us or one, with a really cool program a 30 minute drive plus rush hour traffic. Need to get into the cool one first. We'll see how that goes.

Anyone have any experience with the high school transition coupled with the school avoidance issue? Kind of bad timing - or good maybe. Time for a change.

EmmaL, that's just awful. You should notify the powers that be in the district if they really are treating you like that. I know schools can be bad, but it's one thing to say "well you need to get your son to school and we don't want to help", but quite another to be commenting on your actions/success as a parent. If it's a child welfare issue, notify CPS. Otherwise, refrain from personal commentary.

Not being able to recognise you as parent doesn't mean it is OK to be rude or voice personal opinions. It wouldn't help your son much but any chance your ex could have the reslonsibility of getting him to school for a few months? Also is distributed learning an all or nothing deal?

So DS tried the changes and is still unhappy. We took a few weeks to try homeschooling and it is awesome but DS is waffling about what he wants to do. School offered part time attendance for him as long as it was regular and the subjects divided between us. He can't commit to that but is very reluctant to make any decisions. I know the final decision rests with me but the last thing I need is a full time miserable almost teen. Sigh. He learns really well independently and has been really happy. I'm not sure what his reservations stem from. That said, I've immersed myself in forums and literature about homeschooling gifted kids and I still occasionally have fears/reservations.

Have you tried getting taking him to a psychologist for some outside counseling dealing. My son did some therapy in 6th & 7th grade for social & anxiety reasons, and is now seeing someone different in H.S. and it has really helped. Being a pre-teen is hard for most kids, adding being gifted on top of things can make things even harder.

I have tried but he won't go. Did you have any problem convincing yours to go? I think it would help.
So frustrating. I imagine it is frustrating for him too. Big change. I think I need to read more about homeschooling to get my head around it. I started out very open but it seems he wants structure. But now that I have structure he's annoyed by it.

My DD11 won't go to counseling either - she would only talk to me. I ended up seeing the psychologist myself to get advice on what to say - I make a terrible psychologist, but with some coaching I think I am able to be somewhat helpful. Still - not the same as seeing someone experienced in CBT. :-(

Best wishes with the homeschooling - it must be hard work - I'm sure you'll both get the hang of it!

Well, here we are again. Back to school - starting high school. Got him into an excellent program at a different high school (half an hour away). He has gone a few days this week but is asking to be transferred to the local high school. Today he has gym first thing and he was refusing to go (that and science). He asked again to be transferred. I explained that he will have gym and science at the other school if he transfers. He said he'd rather go straight to Distributed Learning then.

Sooooo sad! This program is an amazing program that would be perfect for him - project based learning, a small group within a larger school (which is still small). Caring community, awesome, flexible, interested teachers.

He won't see a counselor for help. He's going to miss out on this and who knows what his path will be.

Help please!

Gym class can be it's own brand of torture...
- There's the student's performance in the sport or skill,
- There's being picked (or not) for teams,
- There's locker room comparisons and comments on physical characteristics,
- Hopefully there's no one taking photos in the locker room.

You may want to see if you can help him pinpoint the thing(s) which are are anxiety triggers. Possibly reviewing his day with him, walking through his day at home and learning what transpired and how he felt at each point?

Adding a link to the related on counselors as there is fluid conversation between these two threads.

I understand gym but why is science a problem. At this point I might tie distributed learning with seeing a counsellor. He has to show he is willing to make an effort too. Maybe you could say 6 sessions and then reassess.