My DS12 has been having an increasingly difficult time with coping at school.
His school career started out really rough (anxiety) and got better shortly after being identified (grade 3). The increase in confidence really helped and he became very open to trying new things and had many friends.
Since the beginning of grade 6 it has been declining steadily. There have been few accommodations for his giftedness (a once a week pull out program) but he has been refusing my intervention on his behalf.
Last Spring it got decidedly worse. He started to be home "sick" more and more frequently. This school year, grade 7, has continued on the same and has escalated. I see that part of it is the curriculum (grade 6 dealt a lot with climate change, population overgrowth etc. - all very anxiety producing) and social issues have come up. Kids are increasingly competitive and are getting more into things that are scary to him - swearing, aggression, too much social media, teasing/bullying.
Just after Christmas I met with his teacher and the resource teacher and they are very open to changing up his curriculum to help the school motivation side of things. There has been a delay in getting things in place as the region coordinator has been away. The kid side is having more of an affect on him. Some things that happened on Wednesday really threw him and he was off yesterday and refused to go again today.
I'm really torn - I feel like there is a lot of pressure for him to go (you can't just not go and deal with things that are difficult). I don't want to enable him to run away from difficult things. Also there is a legal imperative for him to go.
On the other hand I can't drag him physically. I don't want to make him feel unsafe, un-cared for, unheard. I'm also sensitive/empathetic.
So torn!
So should I wait to see what accommodations we can come up with and how he might react to them and/or explore options like distributed learning that would allow him to work at home and avoid the social issues that diminish as kids mature?
If I do allow him to "withdraw" and learn at home via a distributed learning program so I push him to go next year? High school starts in grade 8 here. If he refuses and I setting him up to be a social recluse?
Taking a step back from all that - is it a big deal? Should I just facilitate his learning the way he needs to learn and trust that the social side will figure itself out?
In the past I haven't listened to my gut where school vs gut is concerned and I think it has turned out for the worse more than a few times.
Please - any advice is very welcome.
Does anyone else do Distributed Learning? How have you dealt with school avoidance?
PS Distributed Learning here allows a child to work online with support and supervision from a teacher.
PPS I work from home so this wouldn't be a hardship for me.
