I hesitate to mention this-- but-- in my experience, it
may be useful in some situations to bring in a brightly colored file folder in your stack of materials...
just print out a few formal complaint forms, etc. and then hand-letter "OCR" onto the tab of that brightly colored file folder. (If you're in a situation where things are already starting to go south and it's contentious, label it "OCR/Complaint").
If things go south in that meeting, then you can splay your materials just slightly as a sort of very minor threat display...
long about the time you begin using statements like "perhaps YOU need some
technical advice from someone OCR on this situation... they were VERY helpful as I was trying to understand this-- would you like that number?"
and
"I'm not sure that is in line with what OCR is thinking here,"
"When I called OCR about this..." also by the way, I very carefully rough out statements which are TRUTHFUL prior to meeting, but those which may imply to school administrators that OCR is much more enthusiastically behind my statements than is, um-- actually so in conversation with them-- they generally aren't super-duper helpful over the phone unless you get very lucky. But if you say to OCR "So, the school told me that X is just fine and I don't think that seems right because Y and Z-- am I reading that correctly on your website?" they may confirm that you're not reading it wrong. Good enough for me, at least in a meeting where I need federal backing. Generally, in phone calls, you'll get confirmation of things like procedural stuff, definitions of terms, etc. I did learn one very critical thing in one of those phone calls once, however-- that even if we as her parents WANTED to, we don't have the RIGHT to waive any of our DD's rights under federal law. We
can't agree to an illegal accommodation for that reason. None of us can. Because her rights trump that, and they are hers alone. She can't waive them either, as a minor.
The very fact that you CALLED at all is an incredibly powerful threat display when you're dealing with an unruly room full of yes-men/-women who are behaving like petulant preschoolers, however. Particularly when you say things like, "Oh, I completely understand. Yes, let's DO consult with counsel about this. I think that really would be best."
Then smile wolfishly. It confuses them when you are SUPER confident that
their attorney(s) will say the same things that you're telling them already. Remember, if you've done your homework, you KNOW what the law says-- and
you're right. Own that.
I also have other meeting tricks-- like making sure that I have everyone's name and title spelled out fully in my own notes-- I make a POINT of it, in fact, and I ask if everyone is signing a signature sheet to document the meeeting-- "can I have a copy of that," that sort of thing.
It makes them very unsettled, generally speaking. Teachers and school staffers, I mean. It's out of their comfort zone, that kind of thing. Attorneys are unfazed by it, generally.
