Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Is this a 2E thing or what?

PanzerAzelSaturn, I also just sent you a PM.

Thank you so much everyone for your help. All of your responses really made me feel a lot better and some of them even made me chuckle

I'm currently trying to contact someone is our district to schedule another IEP meeting. I sent an email to the only person whose email was listed on any of my paperwork. I let her know that I wasn't certain if she was the right person to contact, but that I didn't have contact info for anyone else on the team. She emailed back next day to let me know that she isn't in fact the right person, but told me who is the right person. Of course she gave no contact info for said person. Helpful.

And a fun example of how his IU experience has been over the years. Here we are at the end of IU services as we are transitioning into school age stuff, so we have been getting "services" from them for 2.5 years now. You would think that in all that time and with me sharing IQ results from the district with the IU they would know my son a least a bit by now. Well, his mobile therapist was at his IU playgroup earlier this week and reported back to me on the things that happened while she was there.

First off I got a report that sounded like my son had a horrible day. His therapist reported that he had a good day for DS and that the only trouble he has was constant distraction, which is normal for him. He told me he had a good day at school and I said that his report didn't show that. He was upset and confused. I should have talked to his therapist before I trusted the IU staff.

She also told me a story about some learning activity they were doing. Apparently they showed my son a number 4 and asked him what it was. When he ignored them his therapist wrote down a 6 digit number and asked what it was. She got a response. Then the IU instructor looked at the therapist and told her in a not so nice tone, "That's not what we're working on." She was trying to illustrate that he maybe possibly might be bored...

Later they asked him when we eat breakfast. Of course they were going for morning, but my son answered all sorts of different things, like after we brush our teeth and before Daddy goes to work. When his therapist was over yesterday she wanted to see if he actually knew (as the teacher thought he had some asd related problem understanding sequences of events or something) and he eventually, after about 20 responses and prompts of and what else... finally said in the morning. Before he said morning he even gave a time range, 7-10, depending on what day of the week it is and if we have someplace to go.

I think he's honestly confused about people asking these sorts of questions because he knows we already know and he tries to maybe answer with something the other person might not know?

I just keep thinking of how annoying and insulting it would be if I were sitting in that classroom and some lady asked me in an annoying talk to babies voice to identify the number 4. I wouldn't answer either. I would probably also have something not so nice to say.

My son isn't proud of the fact that he knows the number 4. Just like I'm not proud of the fact that I know the number 4. Maybe a child who recently learned the number 4 would still enjoy answering to show their knowledge, but a kid who mastered numbers 4 years ago and doesn't have any memory of a time when he didn't know the number 4 is not going to find any value in answering such questions.

I'm not asking anyone to give my son 6 digit numbers to identify or ask him challenging math questions, I'm simply requesting that they not require him to answer stuff so far below his ability level and then call it poor behavior when they don't catch his fleeting attention with their boring requests. I'm perfectly happy if they just let him finger paint and work on some social skills. It is called PLAYgroup after all.

I skipped a lot of this thread but saw the post on Amelia Bedelia. DS's second grade teacher said that she reads Amelia Bedelia books to the class and at the beginning of the year only a few kids laugh at it and by the end of the year, most are laughing at it (typically the ones who are not laughing, are behind cognitively or have autism). So according to her, second grade, or age 7-8 seems to be the magic age for most kids to grasp Amelia Bedelia, and perhaps understand not to take language so literally. In terms of math, I can see why he didn't understand "find the difference". We probably didn't either, at that age, until it was explained in math class with word problems as an example. In terms of what's normal, I think a lot of 5 year olds have problems grasping things that we consider very simple like if you have 10 trees and cut down 3, how many are left standing?" At age 4, DS was solving things like "There are 38 trees in your yard and you cut down 13, how many are left?" He would solve that in his head, and he did turn out to be gifted in math (he is now 8 and was accelerated several years for math).

A few weeks ago, I took a first aid class at work. I did not get credit for a question on why it is more important to go get the AED than to start CPR instantly, if you are alone when you find a person with no pulse, because I did not say that "if your heart stops, you die." Mind you, I said that CPR would not restart the heart and the AED would (if you were in ventricular fibrillation), and that if you didn't restart the heart within x minutes then your brain would start to die, but I didn't explicitly say that you can't live without a beating heart. Ugh. I detest these guessing games where you have to say just the right thing to get it to stop.

It's so difficult to be on the receiving end of (constant) negative narrative about "behavior." In fact, I hate the way people use the word (behavior). It's so judgment-laden when it should be observational.

I would make one suggestion: replace the word boring with inappropriate.

Are the reports you receive formal or informal? Do you have some sort of document (checklist, etc.)

I'm sorry because I know this is painful. Difficult enough to know your child has all these differences to contend with, not helpful when the other adults in the room want to attribute it all to volitional/willful misbehavior.

You'll need to teach him the things he can't intuit on his own, I guess. Also: I wouldn't even discuss the teacher "reports" with your DS at this point, if they are so off-base.

I wouldn't discuss negative teacher comments with DS, but I would use them as information about things he doesn't "get," and I'd make sure to teach him how to deal with those situations, so that he conforms more to social norms over time.

By middle school, many teachers are far less tolerant of kids who have a different operating system: they expect compliance and a basic understanding of the social norms of school. Workplaces are generally more rigid still.

I wouldn't waste energy being worked up-- I'd treat it all as information about where DS differs from what's expected, and make choices about where the situation can be conformed to his needs (as in, subject matter taught should be appropriate) and where he should learn to conform to the situation.

OH MY GOD I just wanted to chime in that Perplexus has been the evil, wonderful menace of the last YEAR of our lives. The DRAMA! The OBSESSION! Damn you, Perplexus!!

Same here... my son's ADHD made him too difficult to test (age 7) and the psychologist couldn't calculate his FSIQ.


This is like my son, only the opposite: he was done with pee around 2.5 ish but poop remained a problem for years (we're passed it now - he's 11). For him it was a combination of sensory issues with hyperfocus - he'd ignore the signals from his body until it was too late and then he'd be rushing to the bathroom... and changing his pants.

Anyway, he has outgrown it as your son likely will too. It's rough while you're going through it though. If it's not anatomical but behavioral instead they reach a point where they simply want it to stop enough to pay attention and deal with it. We tried everything... and nothing we did mattered... it was all him, when he decided he'd had enough (ie embarrassment - it bugged him enough to make it a priority and pay attention).

Yes yes yes yes... (lol, wait... did I say yes?) YES

This funny (frustrating) story has been stuck in my head since I read it. I was reminded of it again today when I was talking to a friend who works at Google. We were talking about the infamous Google interview questions. Perhaps you guys have all seen this one - since it pops up on-line. But I thought it was interesting:

What is the next number in this sequence: 1, 11, 21, 1211, 111221, 312211, etc.

You will drive yourself crazy trying to find a mathematical solution to this. I'll give a hint below and come back later with the solution. You'll see that it requires divergent thinking.

But my point to PAZ and the rest of us - there are places that would put incredible value on the types of answers PAZ's DS gave above.

FYI - apparently they don't use this interview question anymore because it's been too widely circulated.

Hint coming....

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Stop reading if you don't want to see the hint ....

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Last chance to stop reading ....

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Here it is:

Read the digits out loud.

I think your kids sounds cool PAZ,
Sue