Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion to conform or not to conform

At work - I actually practice this delicate art, when it becomes clear to me that an "authority" needs to be slowed down, educated or, frankly, exposed as wrong-headed in a particular instance. Doing it well requires lots of practice in both constructive, critical thinking and respectfully asking questions of authorities.
I'm happy to have DS7 starting his practice early. Some trial and error on it will teach him well!

Yes - but far more likely to be followed when the people being directed know their respectful questions are typically listened to answered respectfully. Then they know the authority is directing ... authoritatively ... based on a real emergency and a good understanding of what needs to be done.

Sue
P.S. I finally figured out how to use "quote"!

So is being silent in a way conforming? Its bad enough these kids can't explain their thinking process already hence the push on common core so shouldn't it be necessary the teacher needs to explain the logic behind the lesson in an effort to get students more engaged? I question a lot of things...obviously...as the more I know the more I understand and in return the more compliant I'll be

Increased understanding also leads to confusion and delay.

But what if it doesn't. What if understanding the process why as well as how is the key to the success for gifted children?

For example: students are told to show their work. Their answer is in their head. They don't see the logic behind "show your work" so they ask why. If the response is "because I said so" how is that helping them in the long run?

Look at it from the perspective of the poor, underpaid, stressed out teacher.

The teacher is desperate to avoid confusion and delay, but these insolent gifted children continue to produce question after question.

Each question a hammer-blow against the mind of the teacher until one day, in desperation, the teacher files a complaint with the union to recover damages for work-related stress.

The next year, the number of stressed-out teachers increases, and a strike is called, lasting for months, and disrupting the entire school year.

I think if there is a constant pushback from the teacher I would be looking at how your son is questioning things. - Is he using a respectful tone, is he accepting the teacher's answer, is he disrupting the class for a large amount of time.

I once worked with a woman who felt she could not be convinced to do anything without a full explanation of why she was doing it. Meetings were tedious in the extreme with this person, when everyone else could see that the woman was just plain nit picking/being argumentative.

I'm certainly not saying that children don't have a right to question authority or have their questions answered, but I do feel very strongly that some parents don't respect schools but send their kids anyway with the belief that they don't have to respect their teacher at all.

I think if your child is old enough to be questioning the teachers methods, they are old enough to request a meeting outside of class time, where they can outline their own concerns and possible solutions. Such as: I can't show my work because.... Can you give me some more problems so I can prove to you I know what the answers are.
This will then hopefully give the teacher an opportunity to say -well I am worried that you can come up with the answer in this case, but what about more complicated problems - do you know how you get the answer etc.

Likewise child can also explain to the teacher that he really struggles to understand the how of something if he doesn't know the why and can she build an explanation into her lessons.

We all know there are some very bad teachers out there, but I think we have to teach our kids some personal responsibility with regard to how they function in a society that is not really set up for them.

The students are told to show their work and we all know how gifted kids are with showing work. So you have a situation where the children told to do something that makes no sense to them. Multiply these two numbers and show your work for example. When a student asks her why and her response is "because I said so" that's not teaching them anything. There's a thin line between acting like an adult and acting like a dictator. We teach our children common sense so if someone said go jump off that bridge we want them to be able to use that common sense and not do it right? Well in a gifted child's mind , at least with my child, it doesn't make sense to show his work. If the teacher takes a moment to explain to the kids why its important to show their work they would be inclined to do so. I'm not talking about the kid who asks "why" when you say for the hundredth time its time for bed we are talking about a group of kids who have this inner need to understand the importance of what they are doing.

Yes we get a lot of push back from this one teacher and it stems from the internal investigation from earlier in the year and yes there are personal issues. But my question is...why should we force these brilliant minds to be quiet and conform when allowing them to be gifted children will help them grow up to be independent members of society who can change the world? Imagine if Martin Luther King or Hawkings was told "because I said so" and they never questioned anything?

There is a difference between 'why am I doing this' and 'why should I do this' but unfortunately a stressed teacher tends to assume the most negative scenario.