Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Finding a University in DC area

Val.. Yes I think you have some valid points.

But first most of us are giving advice here assuming that OP's child is participating in the college selection process. Many parents ask advice and make suggestions to about good fit schools for unusual students. I expect that decisions aren't going to be make by this thread but that we are giving the OP suggestions of where to look and what to look out for in a very complex and far from opaque college admissions system. In addition I believe the decision has already been made that they are looking for somewhere she can LIVE AT HOME. Therefore making it easier for mom and/or dad to support her were needed.

Needing help in researching/selecting a college does not equal unable to perform in college. My DD20 needed a lot of help in selecting colleges/universities. She was on the young side (still 17 when she started) and has LD's. Yes it was her decision in the end of the day where to go, but I was the one who "found" online the school she is now at at and suggested we go for visit. It's on the opposite coast and I insisted she fly out for a visit (her second) ON HER OWN before I would agree to her choice. She is now in the second semester of her Junior year and she has been very happy with the school she chose. We spend a lot of time looking at schools her senior year and I'm glad we did. (Yes I did help a lot but mostly on helping her her research and to travel with her to visit schools.) But she has always been very good at going to class, doing her homework, and passing classes. Her study skills are very good, and she chose a college that 'fit' her needs. She still needs to learn a few things, but I don't believe it would have been helpful to keep her at home until she could navigate the U.S. college system on her own.

Many teens are overwhelmed with the college process in this country and many parents pay big $$$ for private college counselors. Just because you can use some advice/help on one aspect of college doesn't mean you need help taking classes. I've known teens who were very capable of getting straight A's on the hardest classes, but who were totally overwhelmed by the college selection process they didn't even try.

I applaud you for letting your son do as much of this work as possible on his own. But that doesn't mean it's the right situation for everyone or that it's wrong for parents to help at this stage.

Having a young-for-college student living WITH parents is a very different ballgame than having one who is living away from home, too.

That makes it easier in some ways-- but it also can make it harder to resist the temptation to over-manage.

You have to be willing to let them make some pretty big mistakes-- and then prod them to fix it FOR THEMSELVES, even if they wish that you'd step in.

That can be a hard thing, as a parent. If it were her high school, I'd be on the phone. I'm still on the phone-- but it is with my daughter, to get information from her on the results of meetings intended to solve problems.

Big difference. She has the maturity to do this for herself-- (PG social skills) but not all kids do. She also lacks some of the executive skills to keep everything under control all the time without some weekly scaffolding. We do that, because that was part of the plan all along-- as noted, it sounds as though ndw's plan is similar.

Do be aware that community college systems can be incredibly overburdened in some state systems-- and that required prerequisiste coursework may be very difficult to get into in such systems. This is a huge problem throughout all of higher ed now, by the way, but it is most extreme in the junior/community colleges. There, a student might have to wait a semester, or even a full year, to get into a calculus course.

I think that how much of the decision-making and research to allow (insist upon?) from a hg+ early college entrant depends a lot on the student, but Val's points are very well made, IME.

If your child's college isn't "her/his" idea, how well is that going to go over? With my DD, the answer is "it wouldn't."

Which is why she didn't apply to some of the top tier schools that we'd encouraged her to consider as good matches. At least we knew enough not to push it, with her. {sigh}

To pick up on one of HK's points in an indirect way, many universities here are applied to using the "common app" .
https://www.commonapp.org
Since the universities expect the students to be solely responsible for all aspects of the applications, the email the student lists there is the ONLY email that many of the universities will send things to. In our experience, only financial info came to the email address listed for parents. I'd recommend using a shared email as the main email if you are going to be actively involved in the process.

So far, most unis send both a snail mail and an email for acceptances. For financial aid we've been getting mostly snail mail.

Just so it has been said: Medical School and other professional schools are generally applied to after 3-4 years of undergraduate studies. There are some "direct admission" programs for medical school that are usually called BS/MD programs that are applied to while in high school.

Wacky fact: Repeating courses at university for a better grade may or may not be a good option at your university. Each university sets their own policy. Some completely erase the first grade, some show both grades, some let you take it up to 5 times, it all varies.

Wacky fact #2: At many universities the student is the one that keeps track of whether they are on course to graduate. The advisor may or may not be involved, let alone interested.

Wacky fact #3: At the top tier research university where I am now, undergraduates frequently have to wait until senior year to take genetics due to lack of class space. It is my understanding that this problem is common for many departments and classes at many unis as well as community colleges. This is why students with AP credit (and thus higher class standing) have an advantage.

I am now compelled to share:
Wacky fact #4: Registration for classes is frequently, but not always, by class. Seniors first, then Juniors, then Sophmores and so on. If your DC have tons of AP or IB credits they may be able to register for their first year classes with the Juniors.

Thanks everyone. It certainly is a very individual process because all kids are different and have different skill sets. Like HK and her daughter, there is no way we could just choose a school for DD. She will definitely choose as she knows her own mind. Like us though, she needs a starting point and a frame of reference. It is an entirely different education system.

It is hard to step back but we have been doing that in different ways for a while as it is necessary for any child to develop their own coping skills, how to make mistakes and how to fix them. Sure we step in where needed to facilitate something high level but DD is very good at contacting teachers and the Head of Academic if there is a problem. In the holidays she changed one of her course options for this year by email chatting with the Head of Academic and I only knew about it after the fact.

The decision here will impact on the whole family and there is hours of work just to get the whole education system in perspective, from high school through community colleges to Unis. I could not do it without all the opinions and DD has no one currently to help but us. The counsellor at school doesn't know the system. She has no friends undertaking the process to bounce ideas off.

I have found with all her classmates investigating Uni here they garner a lot of info from each other about what they have found. There is a lot of discussion about various Unis and the marks and subjects required to get into different courses. There is very much a mindset of exploration in the year 11 class not present in the year she left. It's nice to see. If DD were at school in the US I am sure something similar would be happening and she would be absorbing knowledge from many sources. Same with sitting the SATs. She doesn't know anyone who has done them so has no idea what to expect from a BTDT perspective.

I totally understand the concerns Val has raised. There is no doubt that coping with acceleration is not just about academic capability and neither is going to Uni. We are lucky with our DD that she is a motivated and capable young lady. We will support her in her choices and part of that is making sure we understand what we can about what her choices are.

Thank you Bluemagic. Sounds like you have an impressive daughter. I hope she is having a great time at school. I went to Uni at 17 and while it was away from home, it wasn't on the other side of the country. Well done.i have not heard of paying to help kids with the College process. I can now understand why you might want to do that! LOL.

I am always interested in what you have to say HK. You have been navigating a difficult road and have excellent BTDT advice. Thank you for the advice about Community Colleges.

I think heading to Uni is a big step in life whether your child is 14 or 18, gifted or not. There has been great advice here for everyone.

brilliantcp has so many useful tidbits! It's the sort of stuff you just wouldn't find easily on an Internet search. Love it

Love brilliantcp tips as well.

Building on Wacking #4. Some schools if you are in their honors programs get priority registration, either before all students or just earlier than those of their 'year'.

ndw Thanks for the compliment about my DD. Although I may have misled you DD didn't got to university a whole year early she was just young for her grade and our state had a late cutoff when she entered school. She turned 18 about a month after starting university. Like a lot of kids with LD's she has things she does well and one of them is she confident and comfortable to attend school on the opposite side of the country.

One of the reasons for the private college admissions counselors is that the public school systems are horribly underfunded in this country. In my school district have more counselors than many districts but it's still much lower than we need and these counselors have very little time to help students with this process. (1 per ~500 students) Many parents have no time or patience to help their teen. The system has gotten more competitive and convoluted. Thus an industry was born to help separate parents from more of their money in the quest of the illusive college acceptance.

Not misled at all Bluemagic. Still impressive and just nice to hear a positive story especially as your daughter has LDs.

I am glad we are looking at the options now as there is a lot to take in. My DD has over twenty assessment tasks that go to her final marks in two years time to complete in the next three terms, in addition to homework and exams. I am not going to overload her.

When she has a spare second we will go out to lunch and have a prelim chat about where she might start on investigating what she wants to do in earnest. It is wonderful that she has options.

ndw, I was a foreign student coming from a secondary education system very similar the one you have in Australia.

I was on a scholarship for 3.5 years. I only paid full tuition during the first semester then I qualified for free tuition. So not all scholarship opportunities are closed to international students.

I think some places like MIT also offer generous financial package to foreign students.

I've been pretty much on my own since I was 15. I managed all of my finances, made all major educational decisions, and I did have the EF needed to study 4+ hours every day since I was 16. I have ADHD (confirmed) and most likely developmental coordination disorder. At the end of the day, I came out okay so I'm sure your DD would manage everything just fine, especially with your support.

The biggest difference for me when applying to US college was that I had to "market" myself as a student/applicant. That was rather a strange concept for me and still is.

On a side note, I do know a student who currently attends Georgetown. I'm not so sure if she loved every minute of her college life and it seems that she was rather unchallenged but the opportunities she had for networking socially and professionally were pretty amazing.

Thanks for sharing your story Mana. Another really positive and encouraging outcome. You have obviously done amazing things at a young age. Both ADHD and DCD are big challenges and more so managing on your own. I am sure a lot of people with children facing challenges will be encouraged to hear of your success as I am.

Yes, there are definitely scholarship opportunities for International students. They aren't always the same as those for domestic students and they range widely between Unis. MIT does offer good packages. They are highly sought after from what we read when DD was looking into it a while ago. I would love for her to go there!

I know exactly what you mean when you talk about marketing yourself. It's not something we generally have to do for Uni. I think that is an area we will struggle with. I have looked for some resources on writing college essays and applications for that reason. It concerns me as DD does not have a strong resume as it were. She can not do sports for physical reasons. She has represented the school in other ways but there haven't been that many opportunities.

Thank you for the info about Georgetown. Uni does present a range of opportunities for sure beyond just the academics.

The children parents are asking about on this forum are bright, but most are not cynical, I hope. American universities are tricky, in at least the following ways:

(1) They encourage applications even from people they will almost certainly reject, in order to boost their "selectivity".
(2) Some give "scholarships" to almost all applicants instead of just reducing the list price.
(3) They lump grants and loans together as "financial aid".
(4) They say that applying Early Decision does not confer an advantage, when I think it does, based on some published research.
(5) They are coy about the various preferences they give.

I want my children in high school to focus on academics and extracurriculars that interest them. College admissions strategizing will be a joint effort between them and me.