Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums High School "I'm surrounded by idiots."

Hi everyone! I was able to breathe a sigh of relief for awhile, but like we all know, our kids keep us on our toes … Big outburst with lots of crying last night with DS14. He claims he's surrounded "by idiots" and he can't take it anymore. He said he has been holding in his thoughts for years and he "hates" where he lives. He just can't understand people with no "common sense" etc…etc.. etc… BTW, another girl in his class is pregnant -that makes 3, yes, 3, who are 14- I know that has really been bothering him. My son is grade skipped, very well accommodated and supported at his school (and home) with online learning, AP access, as well as regular integrated elective classes…Well liked kid who is active in several extracurriculars, starter on two of his high school varsity teams. My husband and I are at a complete loss. Is this just common hormonal stuff? Does he have some serious emotional issues that he should be talking to someone about? I don't want my son turning into an intolerable, pompous brat He seemed better this morning Anyone been here before? Advice? Thanks!

This seems perfectly normal to me.

I'm not sure what the problem is here, unless he is actually telling the stupid people that they are stupid.

With respect to the pregnancy issue, one of the general rules of life is that life wants to create more life.

Pregnant 14 year olds accomplish this overarching goal.

No btdt. Have no teenagers yet. I think it sounds pretty normal for the age. As long as he has the social skills to keep on holding it in, just promise him it will get better in college. If he's grade skipped, it's only another three years, right? With college search and selection starting next year?
My father lives his life that way, always presuming he is surrounded by idiots and never taking anyone's word. I am sure eg saved a lot of lives as a doctor with that attitude, though it sometimes felt as if shouldering all that responsibility alone was killing him. It sure was hard growing up, we never could blame anything on anyone else.

Actually, I hear variants of this rant more or less routinely, from my NT adolescent students. Also, how much they hate teenage drama--in the next breath detailing some social media brouhaha that they were active in.

And "yes" to mon.

Concerned about the mention of pregnancies at age 14, due to statistical likelihood of pre-term birth, low birth weight, and lack of adequate family and financial support for the baby in its upcoming life. Is this what your son sees also? Is he operating from a place of moral sensitivity or existential angst, not uncommon among the gifted?

If he is not a contributor to a pregnancy and not taking risks with his future and the next generation's as well, then I'd say you've received great advice from previous posters, and would continue to focus on his future, not on the classmates surrounding him. On the other hand, if his outburst was triggered because a sexual partner became pregnant, then some may say planning for his future may need to include acknowledging responsibility for the life he has helped to create. If someone he likes but was not physically involved with became pregnant by someone else, some may say he was the lucky one, although he may feel disappointed in her.

Well, if the OP actually meant to say that her son had now succeeded at impregnating the third girl in his class and was STILL popular, I'd say "surrounded by idiots" is a fairly accurate description.
I am pretty sure that is not what the OP was saying, though.

I should like to amend my post by seconding mob and aeh - if he is serious about putting his classmates down that way, it might be a good time to teach a little compassion.

Remind him that although he can't avoid people he can control future exposure to idiots by getting the right job. Teenagers think nearly everyone is an idiot and of course sometimes they are right.

I would talk to him about his feelings if you can. Maybe he was very fond of the last girl who go pregnant and is worried about her.

Also is there a ddifferent school option. While this one sounds supportive 3 pregnant 14 year olds in one class sounds excessive.

Thank you for your replies! No, he does not know any of the girls. He doesn't even know their names. Two of them transferred into the district this year. He just seems so full of judgement and intolerance for anyone that is not like him, because you know, he's perfect! Lol He loves to debate why his views are superior and tends to look down at everyone else's views. He has huge moral sensitivities and thinks way beyond what everyone else sees, which causes him great inner turmoil. My husband and I saw a side to him last night that surprised us. DS was so full of anger and sadness, that people would actually choose to make poor or different choices than he would. I agree that there appears to be a lot of "idiots" where we live, but aren't there everywhere? Part of life is that you need to learn to deal with all types of people, and DS doesn't seem to be dealing with that very well. I feel like he's going to burst at school, screaming how "stupid" everyone is. Normal gifted teenager woes??? Books or other resources??? Thanks again

I think we all struggle, to one degree or another, with actually understanding other's views/choices before we dismiss them.

Maybe debate club type exercises would help???

Sounds like normal teenage brain development, which has binary thinking as one of its primary characteristics. This would be augmented in a gifted child, due to higher cognition and emotional sensitivity.

So, it's a phase. Continued teaching of empathy and perspective-taking would be helpful until it passes.

I'll let you know when it passes. I'm not quite there yet, myself.