Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Acceleration - DD 1 yr. younger than older DD

Our kids also thought they would be very happy living at home and going to our local university for the first part of college… when they were 9. Now that my EG ds is actually in high school - no way. He's had the experience of both going to summer programs at universities outside of our area and he's seen and heard enough at this point to realize that the programs offered at our local uni don't match up in terms of intellectual challenge or intellectual fun to what he'll have the opportunity to experience elsewhere (provided he gets scholarship $ to send hiim elsewhere lol!). Anyway, everyone's mileage will vary based on local opportunities… but fwiw, the kids who are craving more *now* in lower school are going to be the kids who quite likely might not to want to opt for the local uni when they are done with high school.

greenlotus, I really do understand and feel for what you're up against. We were lucky in that we were able to find a private school that provided an overall curriculum that was ahead by one grade level (and more in some instances) and met ds' needs - not perfectly, not an ideal solution, but it was "better enough" for our ds. He will also tell you he's never wanted to grade-skip, and is very happy with having subject-accelerated only. In subjects where he wasn't subject accelerated he either found challenge or was bored, but he is a kid who accepted that staying in his grade (and possibly even with a skip) he wasn't going to find intellectually challenging work across the board, and he also is a kid who likes having some classes that are easy (possibly because he's 2e and has to work extra-hard in some areas). The reality is the only academic settings where I've seen him truly satisfied and totally happy are in his 2-year accelerated subjects and in the summer programs he's attended at universities.

OTOH, to be honest, I'd also have to say that there hasn't been an ideal solution for my "not-so-gifted" dd in school either. And in spite of being "not-so-gifted" (per IQ etc tests), she's my kid who found an uber-motivation in early middle school and is absolutely soaring and begging for more subject acceleration and handling it very well.

polarbear

FWIW, getting to middle school a year earlier has been one of the best things about a grade acceleration for my DD, who was 10 for the entirety of her 6th grade year. The larger student body, increased freedom, larger number of teachers, ability to chose electives, ability grouping, and increased executive function requirements that came with middle school made her a much happier 6th grader than she was a 5th grader.

Seventh has been better than 6th, so far.

FWIW, I have twins in separate grades. It was recommended back in elementary school (even though they used the IAS), but we didn't do it until the boys were in middle school because we worried about their relationship (among other issues).

My 2E boy with dyslexia is now doing exceptionally well in the grade he's "supposed" to be in. His twin brother has been frustrated for years at being with age peers, and we home schooled last year then skipped him this year (he's making all As!) It's still not a perfect academic fit for him, but he's much more engaged in school this year.

Neither boy has an issue with the skip, and they're very supportive of each other's success. In fact, my 2E boy seems pretty proud of his brother for being brave enough to skip. They key for us is that they are in different schools. My skipper went to an entirely different school in a different district where there are many skippers. So the boys are free to make friends who don't realize they're twins.

We would not (and didn't) make this choice when they were younger, and when my 2E boy was struggling with dyslexia. It would have been a huge blow to his psyche if his brother had jumped ahead then. But now, he's very confident in his abilities and is nearly a straight-A student (B only in writing) and doesn't feel threatened by his outlier brother because he has his own areas where he's exceptional.

If I were making the choice for siblings who were not twins, the issues I would weigh would be their relationship and the level of frustration for the potential skipper. If both kids are truly fine with the skip, I don't see why the school should have an opinion about it.

Actually, I think that the sibling issue is closely tied to the social issue as well as family dynamics issue, at least from the school's perspective. Polarbear's approach of arguing from the school's perspective is sound. I have twins who have been in the same classrooms except for math from second grade and most of their classes now in middle school. One child's social functioning impacts the other child's much more when they are in the same grade. You may want to address the potential for resentment and embarrassment if your younger child is socially awkward and reassure the school that your older child won't be forced to take care of her or share her friends. Remember that they are as concerned with the consequences for your older DD as for your younger DD. The other issue that I have noticed is that early elementary (K - 3rd), end of middle school (8th) and high school are often smoother acceleration points. Sometime around late 4th grade through 6th grade the social waters appear particularly treacherous to successfully navigate. That seem to be a common viewpoint among the educators with whom I have discussed these issues. It helps if you address concerns from their perspectives. Finally, in my opinion and perhaps the school's as well, the social effects of subject acceleration is very different from grade-skipping so maybe keep that in mind with your arguments. HTH