Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Does/did your DD have ( boy > girl) friends?

My dd8 definitely has more good boy-type friends than girls who are friends. This might be related to her insistence on wearing only boy clothes most of the time since she was about 3; she wants to be seen as 'cool', that is part of it. At the age of 2 she was not into dolls too much, but had a matchbox car in each hand at virtually all times.
But really, she just seems to get along with the boys better. Sometimes her friends will try to explain why they like her, and I've heard a lot of 'she's just crazy! and fun!!'.
I get similar responses from her when asking about them.

Her nearby cousins are all girls so that helps lend a semblance of balance.
Just had to have another conversation with dd about why boys don't come over for sleep overs with girls, lol.

I guess it would boil down to personality: she wants to do more rough-house activities, "boy" stuff.
My ds otoh has not usually been drawn to these sorts of things and has had a hard time finding guy friends who aren't into constant wrestling/rough housing. A bit of this is ok with him, but then he wants to go do other things.

Uppervalley - interesting question; it seems like here on this forum it is ok to admit that my ds prefers drawing to rough housing, and my dd prefers crushing sandcastles to building them, but not sure how open I would be about that at a regular mom's coffee, for example.

Update: This summer, we had a conversation about exercise/play opportunities and school. DD is high-energy, so this has long been a problem for her. DD9 expressed the complaint that her friends don't want to DO anything at recess, just walk around. I suggested that maybe she should try playing with the boys.

School has just started, and DD9 has taken up basketball at recess. There's just one other girl who plays. She declared, "THE BOYS ARE MORE FUN!"

Also, DD9 reports her sedentary girl friend wants to be able to make it across the monkey bars, but isn't strong enough. DD went all motivational speaker on her (it was really goofy, and can't be expressed properly without visuals), and yesterday DD spent half the recess playing basketball, and the other inventing a fitness regimen the two did together.

I did nickname her "Daddy's little personal trainer," after all, so I guess she's adding clientele. I still haven't lost her services, because it was just a couple of days ago that she complained at me while we were playing a new ball game because I wasn't moving around enough.

Ds7 s best friends are girls. Socially awkward as he has always been, for some reason he can connect instantly with girls of many ages (both 5 and 10 is fine). He has friends who are boys but rarely asks to have them over, and when they do play, it never works that well.
DH says he has always preferred girls as well and to this day feels more comfortable with women.

DD likes Lego, Minecraft, chess. Apparently these are "boy activities". She claims that she's a tomboy.
I often wonder what other girls play nowadays.

I have yet to meet a girl aged 5-13 who doesn't like Lego or Minecraft.

True! And there are a lot of girls in my son's chess school.

DD9 has always played with as many boys, as girls. She has many interests, though, that more boys have seemed to gravitate towards (space, messy science projects, insects, dinosaurs) - but then, she likes things that are "cute" too (puppies). I think she's lucky, as she always seems to be able to find SOMEONE to play with, if she chooses (she is also pretty outgoing).

DD is either oblivious to, or ignores the girl drama - I haven't figured it out (but I hear about girl drama from other moms and am always surprised DD doesn't seem to worry about ANY of it). Maybe this isn't a bad thing?

DS6 is much more quiet and more of a "follower." He definitely prefers to play with boys (but he's also at that age where it seems boys and girls start to prefer their own gender for a while).

BOTH of my DC love Minecraft and Legos.

Fair warning for anyone whose DD has many more male than female friends...


at some point during adolescence, some of those friends will begin to notice that there is a real, live GIRL in their midst... and a few of them will begin to be interested in a lot more than platonic friendship. I mention that because it is WAY complicated to navigate, particularly for girls who have been significantly accelerated, since those male friends who are now circling like wolves are 2-4 years OLDER, too.

It's not that such girls WILL engage in dating and stuff early as a result, so much as that it complicates friendships and mostly serves as a serious nuisance. DD's generally attitude about this sort of thing has been;

Oh, BOTHER. Not you, too?? Ohhhhh, MAN... you were SUCH a good friend before testosterone toxicity kicked in big-time and ruined everything. I am really going to miss you. I so don't see you in those terms, dude... and while I'm flattered? Just-- NO.

And in some cases it can legally be a problem if they did have a relationship.

My SIL teaches AP psychology and always has several 19 year olds in her class. At the beginning of the year she has a "don't ruin your life forever by ending up on the sexual predictors list because of having a girlfriend in highschool" speech.

My DD10 has in the last few years had more boy friends than girl friends. She says they like the same things she does like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Dr. Who. Even in her gifted class she spends more time with the boys. The teacher took a picture of her gifted class with one of the projects they had worked on and she was front and center in the middle of the boys and the other girls were off to the side huddled together. I worry about her for the future but right now it's okay.

She does have girl friends but sometimes they get on her nerves with the silliness. We are just beginning the clique stage and she just doesn't deal with that nonsense well.