I have observed that my DD has more friendships with boys than girls. It is starting to even out now @9.5 but I wonder if others here have observed something similar.

Interested in hearing about your experiences and observations.

DD8's best friend is a boy from school who is about a year older, and there is a neighborhood boy that she plays with regularly, but she hangs out more with girls at school. The boy that she hangs out with tends to like hanging out with girls. That being said, DD has never had much interest in "girly" things like dolls and can be a tomboy with climbing trees, roughhousing, etc. So she can go either way. She does love jewelry, bling, high heels(just trying them on, I don't let her wear them), craft projects, etc so she can go either way and she finds plenty to do with girls as well as boys. She has loved games like Minecraft since she was in preschool and so far we have only found one or two girls that have any interest.

All but a couple of my DD's close friends in the past decade have been male.

My D just wants to be friends with smart people... gender does not matter and never has to her.

DD6 loves girly things but interesting enough has always connected with boys more. She starts out chatting to the girls but then she tires of them or they of her and she gravitates to the boys. Loves chasing them, trying to match their capabilites in sports, chess etc. Funny enough the boys don't seem to tire of her and in fact we have had funny experiences with a few boys really getting attached to her.

We just got back from vacation in the UK during which she met a boy at the local school park. Next thing I know he started showing up everyday at my MIL's house looking for her. Funny how he is my DS's age (older) but was coming to play with DD!

DD9 plays very well with boys and girls alike, but when she's actively seeking friends, she reaches out to girls. The boys have always been family members, siblings of her friends, etc.

This was me too. I was definitely a tomboy. This may date me slightly, but when I was in elementary school we would always play "Star Wars" at recess and since I was the only girl playing with the boys they wanted me to be Princess Leia so they could "rescue" me. It would make me so mad because I was much more suited to being Han Solo or even Luke, so I would cave to being Leia every once in a while if they agreed I could be Han or Luke the next day. All through my life I've always had more guy friends than girl friends, which has led to some awkward situations like when your high school or college buddy starts hitting on you or asks you out and you completely view him as a brother-figure.

Both my girls have friends that are boys and I encourage them to play with the boys. When they come home from school and tell me about all the drama going on with the girls that is the first thing I tell them - go play with the boys! DD10 probably plays with the boys more just because she doesn't have much interest in the "girly" things the girls are doing and some of the girls in her class are not very nice. DD8 is very social and has lots of girl friends, but the girls in her class are over the top drama for such a young age. There is just something about the dynamics of her age group that creates constant turmoil amongst the girls (maybe too many chiefs or however that saying goes). The teachers and school counselor have even mentioned how much drama there is with the girls in DD8's class.

I hope they both continue to have friend type relationships with the boys. I view having friends of the opposite sex as very beneficial in life - based on my life experiences.

My DD10 has friends of both sexes but during preschool and K mostly played with boys. I think she would have continued that trend except there are some unwritten rules at school that boys play with boys and girls play with girls. Her closest friends have been boys with one exception and it is still easier for her to make new friends (e.g. summer camp) with boys. I think this is because she is very athletic and, more importantly, she doesn't like to talk that much. Making friends with girls requires more talking and social skills whereas she can make friends more easily by joining the boys for a soccer or dodgeball game.

DD8 is about half and half, I think, though the friends she talks about most from school are boys.

My oldest son 10 plays entirely with boys, and his twin sister essentially entirely with girls. Their interests are also very stereotypical, and have been since they were very little -- back then we were put trucks and dolls down in between them just to see what they'd play with.

Perhaps this is partly a boy-girl twin thing.

Their younger brother 8 has some girl friends at school, but even he gravitates more towards boys and typical boy interests.

At all schools the kids have been at, there has been a lot of gender self-segregation in play, at least since K.

I'm interested that it not so for so many respondents. I wonder if people are less likely to reply if their answer is more in keeping with stereotypes.

My dd8 definitely has more good boy-type friends than girls who are friends. This might be related to her insistence on wearing only boy clothes most of the time since she was about 3; she wants to be seen as 'cool', that is part of it. At the age of 2 she was not into dolls too much, but had a matchbox car in each hand at virtually all times.
But really, she just seems to get along with the boys better. Sometimes her friends will try to explain why they like her, and I've heard a lot of 'she's just crazy! and fun!!'.
I get similar responses from her when asking about them.

Her nearby cousins are all girls so that helps lend a semblance of balance.
Just had to have another conversation with dd about why boys don't come over for sleep overs with girls, lol.

I guess it would boil down to personality: she wants to do more rough-house activities, "boy" stuff.
My ds otoh has not usually been drawn to these sorts of things and has had a hard time finding guy friends who aren't into constant wrestling/rough housing. A bit of this is ok with him, but then he wants to go do other things.

Uppervalley - interesting question; it seems like here on this forum it is ok to admit that my ds prefers drawing to rough housing, and my dd prefers crushing sandcastles to building them, but not sure how open I would be about that at a regular mom's coffee, for example.

Update: This summer, we had a conversation about exercise/play opportunities and school. DD is high-energy, so this has long been a problem for her. DD9 expressed the complaint that her friends don't want to DO anything at recess, just walk around. I suggested that maybe she should try playing with the boys.

School has just started, and DD9 has taken up basketball at recess. There's just one other girl who plays. She declared, "THE BOYS ARE MORE FUN!"

Also, DD9 reports her sedentary girl friend wants to be able to make it across the monkey bars, but isn't strong enough. DD went all motivational speaker on her (it was really goofy, and can't be expressed properly without visuals), and yesterday DD spent half the recess playing basketball, and the other inventing a fitness regimen the two did together.

I did nickname her "Daddy's little personal trainer," after all, so I guess she's adding clientele. I still haven't lost her services, because it was just a couple of days ago that she complained at me while we were playing a new ball game because I wasn't moving around enough.

Ds7 s best friends are girls. Socially awkward as he has always been, for some reason he can connect instantly with girls of many ages (both 5 and 10 is fine). He has friends who are boys but rarely asks to have them over, and when they do play, it never works that well.
DH says he has always preferred girls as well and to this day feels more comfortable with women.

DD likes Lego, Minecraft, chess. Apparently these are "boy activities". She claims that she's a tomboy.
I often wonder what other girls play nowadays.

I have yet to meet a girl aged 5-13 who doesn't like Lego or Minecraft.

True! And there are a lot of girls in my son's chess school.

DD9 has always played with as many boys, as girls. She has many interests, though, that more boys have seemed to gravitate towards (space, messy science projects, insects, dinosaurs) - but then, she likes things that are "cute" too (puppies). I think she's lucky, as she always seems to be able to find SOMEONE to play with, if she chooses (she is also pretty outgoing).

DD is either oblivious to, or ignores the girl drama - I haven't figured it out (but I hear about girl drama from other moms and am always surprised DD doesn't seem to worry about ANY of it). Maybe this isn't a bad thing?

DS6 is much more quiet and more of a "follower." He definitely prefers to play with boys (but he's also at that age where it seems boys and girls start to prefer their own gender for a while).

BOTH of my DC love Minecraft and Legos.

Fair warning for anyone whose DD has many more male than female friends...


at some point during adolescence, some of those friends will begin to notice that there is a real, live GIRL in their midst... and a few of them will begin to be interested in a lot more than platonic friendship. I mention that because it is WAY complicated to navigate, particularly for girls who have been significantly accelerated, since those male friends who are now circling like wolves are 2-4 years OLDER, too.

It's not that such girls WILL engage in dating and stuff early as a result, so much as that it complicates friendships and mostly serves as a serious nuisance. DD's generally attitude about this sort of thing has been;

Oh, BOTHER. Not you, too?? Ohhhhh, MAN... you were SUCH a good friend before testosterone toxicity kicked in big-time and ruined everything. I am really going to miss you. I so don't see you in those terms, dude... and while I'm flattered? Just-- NO.

And in some cases it can legally be a problem if they did have a relationship.

My SIL teaches AP psychology and always has several 19 year olds in her class. At the beginning of the year she has a "don't ruin your life forever by ending up on the sexual predictors list because of having a girlfriend in highschool" speech.

My DD10 has in the last few years had more boy friends than girl friends. She says they like the same things she does like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Dr. Who. Even in her gifted class she spends more time with the boys. The teacher took a picture of her gifted class with one of the projects they had worked on and she was front and center in the middle of the boys and the other girls were off to the side huddled together. I worry about her for the future but right now it's okay.

She does have girl friends but sometimes they get on her nerves with the silliness. We are just beginning the clique stage and she just doesn't deal with that nonsense well.

That's funny... that's us. Both my kids preferred opposite gender playmates when they were a bit younger. Now that they're 10 and 11 this has normalized greatly and DD has her girl "besties" and DS has his male buddies. When I was young I was a tomboy who preferred playing with boys and had a hard time connecting with the girls - I just found them too... I don't know... "fluffy." Now that I've had kids I can connect with other women much more easily via motherhood.