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    Joined: Sep 2013
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    We have already shared the scores -- IQ, achievement, OT/PT, full neuropsych report, etc. The question I first posted was to see if this might have been a mistake down the line. After reading the responses so far, I'm feeling like this was the right decision for DS.

    So far, it has been really positive that we did share the information. I agree with Loy58 that for a child who is 2e it is easy to underestimate them, and I think this is what his first grade teacher was doing -- even though she had the information. I think she really just didn't "get" gifted kids, especially those that are 2e. I feel lucky that while our state does not have a gifted mandate, our district does do at least something. I'm waiting to see if what they do will be enough, though. There seem to be a number of teachers and administrators who do understand gifted kids, and I think they want to help but they are limited in resources. I'm just keeping fingers crossed that he gets those teachers as he progresses through school.

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    I am still wondering about that one myself,
    So far I am thinking I might just share (orally) the recommendations on the third page of the report about acceleration differentiation and enrichment, and not share the numbers, as they probably do not mean much to the teachers. I suppose the FSIQ would. He is not appreciably 2e (his anxiety and his sensory issues show up socially and in PE, but do not detract from either his ability scores or his academic achievement at this point. I guess I may share if they ask, either show a genuine interest or scepticism (of the "you know he's not the fastest student in class"...variety.) I just do SO not want this information to get out among the other parents. Social suicide. Not sure just how much you can trust them all to keep their mouths shut and not slip...

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    Originally Posted by Tigerle
    I just do SO not want this information to get out among the other parents. Social suicide.


    Fascinating. I have to say that this never, ever even crossed my mind when we shared testing results. Like what do you think the result would be? At this point, DD is working 2-3 grades ahead, so if it were social suicide we'd be dead 1000 times over.

    No one we ever shared our results with ever cared (or in many cases, bothered to look at the information). For us sharing results had no effect, or in some cases, made things worse. The OP is NOT in this situation and, I think, is doing the right thing. That's not always the case however.

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    In my experience, that would be the same parents who pit their own children's IQ scores against each other, and berate the lower scoring child, or dismiss their future potential because they are "not as bright" as the higher scoring child. This is why I started burying my score tables in the back of the report, in an attempt to put the focus on functional strengths and weaknesses, and to stress the confidence interval aspect of scores.


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    Originally Posted by Tigerle
    I just do SO not want this information to get out among the other parents. Social suicide. Not sure just how much you can trust them all to keep their mouths shut and not slip...

    I would be very *very* surprised to have specific IQ information slipped from *school staff* to parents for two reasons: first, the school staff have an obligation to keep this information private, and second, what may seem like hugely important information to us as the parents of our children really is just one tiny blip of data on a child that is not the center of the world for the teacher, hence in the realm of what he/she is likely to share, I just don't think the IQ scores would be anywhere near likely to get accidentally slipped. OTOH, what I think *might* get talked about is a parent's attitude - if they come across to the teacher as a "know-it-all" or pushy parent or tiger-parent or whatever. This is of course just my perception and speculation, based on the friends I have who are teachers and who I know well.

    What I *have* heard though - in our schools - among the parents of HG/+ kids - is parents who like to compare their child's IQ # to another parents' child's IQ # as if a higher # makes their child somehow much more incredible than the other parents' child. I've never ever heard talk among parents like that when I'm with the non-HG/+ crowd (or even most of the HG/+ crowd). Just my experience, of course, but the people I'd not want to share scores and info with are other parents. I wouldn't worry about teachers discussing it in terms of actual data/numbers.

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    Originally Posted by Loy58
    Oh, cammom - that is a good, cautionary tale. May I ask how you managed to communicate with the new school (and I agree that being polite, modest, and diplomatic is key)?

    I think if you have a kiddo who is 2e, they are so frequently UNDERESTIMATED, that I would be more apt to speak up and freely share. It is a little trickier with a non-2e kiddo, I think, although the reason for testing is usually the same - the parent often doesn't feel that their DC's needs are being met.

    But just raising the issue that one felt the need to go outside the school to have their DC assessed, could be met with defensiveness.

    I feel like I'm tiptoeing through broken glass with these: on one hand, I can see where the achievement data could be VERY relevant to the teacher (for example,suggesting a DC is functioning pretty comfortably above grade-level); also, the IQ data could remove the concern that a DC has been hothoused into this level of achievement. On the other hand, the school might not react positively to a family who privately went to have a DC tested. Still, just when/how/what to share? That's the tricky part.

    Loy58- DS is in private school, so we shared it while shopping for the "new school." I was straightforward- stated that he had a recent IQ test and the results were high. I shared that he was specifically advanced in some areas, particularly math. I asked how the school accommodates students like DS. My BS detector was on red alert by that time, so it was fairly obvious which school was going to be the fit.

    When DS started first grade (bear with me) I hoped that the teacher would see his abilities independently. At the time, I was still reeling a bit from his scores, uncertain what it would mean, and buying into the idea that kids may even out.
    DS quickly became disengaged with academics, and careless with his work. His teacher noted his inattentiveness, carelessness and general disinterest and came to inaccurate conclusions. Everything from my tentativeness to DS's attitude, and his teacher's observations of his behaviors created a negative situation.

    I'm mentioning this because I can't imagine that the situation is too uncommon. Many of the folks who post on this forum are a bit shocked and uncertain of what IQ scores may mean--they may naturally have trepidations about coming on too strong with a teacher. However an under challenged child may not react submissively, and may check out or become disruptive. Teachers have their own bias because a truly gifted child is unusual- when they see behavior, giftedness probably won't be their first instinct. It can become a perfect storm- all parties frustrated.

    Just thoughts.

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    Thank you, cammom. That really gives me something to think about.

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    Originally Posted by Ivy
    Originally Posted by Tigerle
    I just do SO not want this information to get out among the other parents. Social suicide.


    Fascinating. I have to say that this never, ever even crossed my mind when we shared testing results. Like what do you think the result would be? At this point, DD is working 2-3 grades ahead, so if it were social suicide we'd be dead 1000 times over.

    No one we ever shared our results with ever cared (or in many cases, bothered to look at the information). For us sharing results had no effect, or in some cases, made things worse. The OP is NOT in this situation and, I think, is doing the right thing. That's not always the case however.


    This is surely cultural and varies from from country to country, from area to area, I'd guess from school to school even.
    I live in a European country that does not do standardized testing, neither for achievement nor for ability. There is an extreme need to pretend that some differences do not exist, even in achievement. The OECD testing for Pisa was an eye opener and is still hotly debated not just for its actual implications (it showed that students in some states scored, on average, two grade levels higher than students in others, which led to finger pointing at the high scoring states for putting too much pressure on students) but on a philosophical level, do tests even have any meaning at all....because if they don't, you don't t have to bother about why your schools fail...

    Even just having your child tested puts you squarely in the category of That Parent. Who needs a gifted label for their kids to inflate their own ego, to find excuses for their child's behaviour problems, and so on. Clearly you're working ahead in the afternoons, hot housing, trying to jump an imaginary queue. If your kid is so gifted, let him show it by making perfect grades, and if the kid is actually making them, it must be all about you and your hot housing again.

    We live in on of the highest scoring stated which still has a rigid tracking system, based entirely on grade average in fourth grade, meaning you are in direct competition with your class mates. While in theory, teachers are supposed to grade objectively against grade level standards and not on a curve, in practice this is what happens (again one of t hose dirty little open secrets substantiated by test results nobody wants to hear).

    If your child goes to a high SES school with over involved parents like ds7 does, third and fourth grade are make or break time. Everything is about getting into the right (ie college prep) track.

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    Your observations sound familiar to those in some areas of the United States.

    Quote
    There is an extreme need to pretend that some differences do not exist, even in achievement.
    It is ironic because in sports/athletics it is widely accepted as natural that some will excel; These individuals are celebrated. Meanwhile in academic/intellectual endeavors uniformity is mandated; Those who excel may be cut down (tall poppies).

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    teachers are supposed to grade objectively against grade level standards and not on a curve
    In some schools, gifted students may be graded on much tougher, more time-consuming assignments as a means of "differentiated task demands", resulting in deceptive, uneven grading.

    In some high performing areas teachers may be credited with the performance of pupils even though there may be a strong program for uniform outcomes with little or no gifted support; Parents may be sacrificing greatly to provide weekend, summer, or afterschool enrichment for their children so they may learn something new. Based upon high student performance, the teachers to whom these students are assigned are then deemed superior and draw higher salaries although the students' high performance was based on parental decisions, sacrifice, and actions in support of the student.

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    dirty little open secrets substantiated by test results nobody wants to hear
    Yes, this may be similar to the observation that children in practice programs may have high GPA... but with little outside evidence to corroborate high academic achievement... thereby hinting at inflated grades for some students (based on uneven grading practices).

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    Originally Posted by indigo
    In some high performing areas teachers may be credited with the performance of pupils even though there may be a strong program for uniform outcomes with little or no gifted support;

    We weren't in a high performing district, but I still felt some of this. When we moved and stayed in the neighborhood, the principal made a happy comment about not losing one of their brightest students... but when I asked for accommodation, I was completely stonewalled.

    Where I live school choice is a heated issue, with a lot of people feeling like it's important to stick with your assigned school in order to give it necessary support (if all the "rich" involved parents pull their kids out, what will the schools do?). My response when someone makes this comment is always "well, if the school wanted me to support them, they should have supported us."

    Tigerle, I see what you are saying, though it sounds more like educational suicide rather than social suicide. I think I was definitely seeing this through a US lens, where other parents might be competitive or annoyed at the information, but who cares? (Answer, not me.)

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