Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion breastfeeding and IQ

just curious...

how long did you breast-fed -if you did- your DC?

I do not want to turn this into a debate about the benefits of bf - just want to know what others have done.

I am still bfing, both DS and DD. With DD I am ready to wean, but I doubt I will manage until she wants it.

DS8 was breast-fed for 16 months.

BTW, you might want to ask, additionally, if we as parents were breast-fed, since there is another parallel post asking for correlations between parents IQ and kids IQ? I know in the 60's and early 70's parents were told by doctors how wonderful formula was. (God knows what was in it back then!). Both my husband and I were bottle-fed, and we seemed to be just fine and none-the-worse for it.

I never breast-fed our DS5 but my DW did for just under 2 years.

LOL!

DS nursed for over 2 years and DD for over 3 years.

But neither my brother or I ever were nursed at all and were most likely HG+.

What I do think nursing helped my kids with was security. Being a very shy, insecure kid, I always felt like part of that was just my brother and I had to really push hard to get attention from our parents. I really wanted my kids to feel like they had (and continue to have) as much attention as they need in whatever age appropriate form seemed right. I really let them take the lead on weaning.

Sorry couldn't help myself.

As far as I know I was not breast-fed. In regards to DW I think she was.

In regards to being gifted, for me it depends on who you ask, anywhere from slow to HG+.

I am pretty sure DW is MG.

Okay. I'll weigh in but only because Edwin made me laugh.

I was told by my uncle that my mother breast-fed me when I asked him. My mother is deceased so I couldn't ask her.
Since he is a medical professional and seems to think formula=chemical and bad, taking into consideration my family is totally into revisionist history I have not idea if that is accurate.

I did not BF first daughter, she was unable to nurse. She did get breast milk for as long as the pump was effective, about 2-3 months.
I did BF second daughter to about 7 or 8 months.

My mom breast-fed me for 3-6 mos, I think. Back then, that was unusual.

I BF DS7 for 14 mos., at which point he weaned himself--one day he just grinned, clamped his lips together and shook his head "no." I tried again that evening, with the same result. I never BF him again. EASY! Since I was ready to quit, too, it was GREAT!

DS4 BF for about the same time. Maybe 13mos.? Because by that time--after two kids!--I was tired of feeling like Bessie the cow! I gave a lot of milk, and both my kids were in the 95+ %ile for weight, so they nursed hard. I regularly pumped 2 12-oz. bottles of milk when I pumped! That's a ton of milk! And DS4 had acid reflux, so he yaked up full tummies of milk on a daily basis, literally drenching multiple bath towels, then nursed again. People would see me lay out towels as burp cloths and laugh...until they saw him let loose. Even with the towels, I usually had to change clothes. It was nuts! And before I'd finished drying off, he'd be ready to nurse again.

Moo! :p

So I made sure to go the recommended 12 months with him, but DS4 and I were really *both* ready to be done by that point.

Weaning was also no big deal with DS4, though not quite so easy as with DS7. (What could be?)

From shaky memory

DS13 - about 1 yr
DS12 - about 15 months
DS9 - about 18 months
DS6 - about 3 yrs (and I hated the last year & desperately wanted to quit! Had to go away for the weekend & left him with in-laws to scream for 48 hrs).

My 2 sisters & I all were breastfed.

I don't know if I was breastfed and my mother would not remember if I asked her.

I breastfed my daughter for one year.

I breastfed my son for about three years.

DS5 was bf for 25-26 months. I don't really remember since DS4 was already a few months old at that time and it's all blurry. DS4 was bf for 3 years. They both self weaned.

I was breastfed but I am not sure for how long.

Kriston, wow! You could have fed a few other children. That's quite an amount to pump!

So which came first the chicken or the egg?
Are kids who are higher iq disproportionately receiving breast milk?
Or are more high iq moms choosing to breastfeed?

So much easier than sterilizing bottles, mixing formula, warming, especially in the wee hrs--oftentimes I'd sleep through it (semi-conscious state) & DH loved that he was never expected to get up for babies (not equipped).

Cym, I remember the semi-conscious state at night. I too slept through most of the night feedings.

I breastfed DS4 until he was about 2.5 i think. We found out when he was 1 that he was allergic to dairy, and we tried to give him every type of nondairy drink known to mankind, and he would have none of it (until about 2.5). Also, I am a very lazy person, and I wasn't working outside the home at the time, so it was much easier to BF. I think DS had about 5 bottles in his life. And pumping was just such a drag. Funny thing, when DS was 2, he asked me "what's that?" pointing to something a kid had in our early childhood class. It was a baby bottle. I was a wee bit embarrassed that he didn't know what a bottle was!

Neither DH nor I were breastfed. I'm guessing we're both upper end of MG, but who knows.

It's hard to say about the chicken and the egg -- I think back to when my mom, who was an RN, was told and believed that forumla would be better. As a smart person, she went with what she thought was best available option at the time.

My dd was a premie. As a result she barely opened her eyes for the first month and slept thru the night (and most of the day for the first month) since the day she was born.

Since she wasn't eating much my milk dried up fairly soon (4 or 5 months). I remember going to my doctor for follow ups and when I asked her if I should wake her up for feedings at night she told me I was crazy. Her exact words "Do you know what most mothers would do to be that lucky?"

She didn't like formula very much either, so she started eating solid food fairly early.

I breastfed DD9 until she was (exhausted mom...) 3.5. I was adopted so never breastfed. I think that the wanting to BF forEVER was the same safety thing that I still see with DD about "I'm super-independent ..until I 'm not."

Kriston, Kriston

The whole darn family is keyed to no displays of emotional extravageance!

I am so impressed in my Restate!

I know...if only my kids didn't eat it all on their own!

I pumped daily, too. And it only took me between 15-30 minutes to get all that with a 2-boobed pump. I have friends who need *hours* to pump just 4 oz., even with a good breast pump. Not me!

Seriously! I could have had a fabulous career as a wet-nurse, doncha' think? I was apparently born to the wrong century! LOL!



LOL! So true! I was used to DS7's Spockian approach to life, so this didn't even surprise me. It was pretty funny though, and it sure makes a good story now.

I just wonder what made him decide he was done, you know? No idea what was going on in that head of his...

I have great admiration for people who BF for 2+ years though. By 12 months, I was sooooo tired of the doubled up breast pads, waking up covered in milk in the middle of the night, leaking if my son cried or I even thought about him too hard...

Really, 3.5 years is AWESOME!!!

I'm with the chicken/egg comment. I think the claim is correlative not cause/effect. In economically advantaged homes, mothers who are choosing to nurse are more educated. So maybe but based on US statistic - you'd have to go into an economically/educationally uniform area.

I nursed my kids but that was my choice. I'm all for individual passions but some things can stay at an individual level. It has stayed nice in this thread but usually it ends up with people making guilted comments that they wished or tried or whatever...

Hey my #1 we nearly starved because our lactation consultant was a nitwit and she's a 99.9er. I often wonder since her behavior is the best if we should have starved all of them :-) kidding but...

sorry if this is grouchy... see my next post...

Nah, I think we're not the sort to get opinionated and icky about breastfeeding. If other people's school choices don't get us up in arms, breastfeeding won't do it.

Nice people here!

(And I'm not all that nice, but I'm all about choices and people doing what works for them. So I'm sure not going to judge!)

DS weaned himself at about 11 months. I was breast fed until about 15 months.

I am not going to judge other people's choices either. There are a ton of good reasons not to nurse and formulas have gotten pretty darn good. But I do wish that I had lived in a part of the world that actually supported mothers who wanted to breast feed and didn't treat it like it was pornographic. I know many people who quit or didn't try because they didn't want to be stuck at home for the first year of life and they didn't want to go into the bathroom to nurse if their kid got hungry at the mall. I know much of the country is not that way, but it was that way where I lived when DS was a baby and it took a real commitment to make breastfeeding work. And that did make me grouchy!

I hear that, acs!

DH was worried I would get arrested because I said from the start that I wouldn't breastfeed in the bathroom. I wouldn't eat my lunch in a toilet stall, and my baby wasn't going to either! And I would have made a very public stink if anyone had refused to let me breastfeed in public. VERY PUBLIC!

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't into flashing. People pretty much never even knew I was feeding my baby unless they made a point to stare right at my chest, looking around the baby's head, right at the moment when I was getting him latched on. After that, everything was utterly covered. But I would not isolate myself to nurse either.

That kind of attitude toward breastfeeding DOES make me judge!

Happily for me and our bail money ( ), no one was ever anything but supportive about my breastfeeding. Never so much as a peep about it.

Lucky for them...I was kind of looking forward to going all feminist avenger on somone! <evil smirk>

DD is almost 5 years old and she is still bfing! I AM ready to wean but not she....

Hopefully, next year with an improved (?) school situation she will be less stressed and wont need her 'pechuguitas'

DS was not the kind to let me nurse discreetly. He spurned the blanket covering him, pulled it off, unlatched and wailed! So we went blanketless which worked OK most of the time, but he still thought nursing was playtime and would unlatch pretty regularly to look up and me and coo and giggle, exposing me to anyone who happened to be looking. People looked at me aghast, but never called the police!

After reading about GT infants, it strikes me that this was my first indication of his intelligence, leaving me exposed in public! LOL!

LOL, acs!

I've heard that many people with GT kids have the blanket problem. We did, but I just got in the habit of wearing big shirts or cardigan sweaters that would cover the baby's whole head while he nursed. Ta-da! No flashing!

To a kid less into the milk than mine, this might not have worked either. But my kids were SERIOUSLY hungry! They had a brief distractable phase in that--what is it?--3-6mo. age range, when they realize the world exists. But they got over it fast and went back to the serious business of eating. No problem.

Good eaters and good sleepers. Thank goodness! I think it's why they both survived infancy, even with a mom like me!

LOL How's that for a carrier choice? I cannot believe that you were still leaking at 12 months. That must have been tough. I sure didn't miss that part.

I too didn't use a blanket while NIP. I thought it brought more attention. I never had a bad experience, but I must admit that I stopped nursing in public once the kids got older.

BTW Nice conversation topic? What's next? PMS? LOL Hey, do you think I could find a school where I could put DS5 for a few days when I get hit by PMS? It could work wonders for both of us

<smirk> I'm laughing!!! Where are the dads now, huh? :p

I was one, big, milk-leaky person for a good 4.5 or 5 years, all total. I actually started leaking a little before DS7 was even born--not a lot, but enough that I had to wear breast pads with thin shirts or I'd get a little dot of wet there--and I was still a little drippy SIX MONTHS AFTER WEANING #2! Not a lot. No more leaking at night. But in the shower, I'd still dribble a little. The house smelled like sour milk all the time. Hated it!

I probably belonged in "Ripley's Believe it or Not" or something.

Now you understand my "Moo!" comment! Ugh!

I nursed DD for 3 yrs. 1 month. DS for 3 yrs. 4 mos. It was pretty much continuous nursing because I was already 6 mos. pregnant with DS when I weaned DD.

I don't think I would have held out so long except that the allergist told me to nurse them until they turned three. I wanted to do everything possible to help them outgrow their food allergies. They each outgrew some food allergies by 3 but not all. Don't know if the nursing had anything to do with it or not, but I tried to follow the doctor's advice.

DD used to ask to "noosh" and DS would demand "nuh-nuh" followed by "other side nuh-nuh"

I'm a retired La Leche League leader. I believe there are many benefits to breastfeeding, but any difference in IQ is relatively small (original claims were 6-10 points, more recently it has been downgraded to a slightly more conservative number) and may be due to the intelligence of the parents more than the milk itself. In the US, smarter parents are more likely to choose to breastfeed.

Four or five points may push a gifted child into HG or an EG child into PG territory, but it will not make an average kid into a genius. Otherwise, people of the US born in the last hundred years or so would be the stupidest people in history.

We practice extended breastfeeding here.

BTW, Kriston-

It is unusual for a mom to be leaking all the time after the first few months. I have seen it, but you are definitely in the minority with your mooiness! We refer to that as a problem with "oversupply".

ROFL! You mean they aren't?!



(See above spam for evidence, unless our beloved moderator has already removed it for us, bless him!)

We'd have to see the data. Changes at the margin can skew results!

First set 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9
Second set: 2,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9

The only difference is the 1 became a 2.

Point taken.

We went 2.5 years for ds8, 2 years for dd2.
I had to pump for a while when ds was 2 mos., due to surgery, but got back to it nearly immediately afterwards. Despite dr's recommendation to just stop. I sent that doctor away.

I recently weaned dd when she hit her tooth really hard and had to get away from everything that she might suck or pull on with her teeth while it healed up.

I BF DD8 for 13 months and DD5 for 11 months. Both weaned themselves. It was a very natural process.

I am a big supporter of breastfeeding and gently encourage expectant moms to at least give it a try. Though I understand that every mom has to make the best decision for herself and her family.

My mother did not BF me. I am probably MG though I have never been tested. My mother actually though it was repulsive at first. I educated her about the benefits and she adjusted to my BFing my children. My children think it is just the way things are done because few of our friends bottle-fed their children. My oldest dd rarely played with baby dolls, but when she did she would lift her shirt up to feed her baby like Mommy did.

My DH was also not BF. He is probably PG. He is the youngest of 6 children. All of them were BF except him. His ped. told his mother not to BF because he was jaundice. I wonder if others will look back in 30 years and see us as ignorant as we see those 30 years before us?

Although I am a big proponent of BF, I will admit that it was taxing. I had an oversupply issue, which made it quite difficult to seemlessly BF in public. I was always envious of mom's who could BF in public without needing all the additional paraphernalia to stay dry. Also my kiddos would never take a bottle so I was chained to them for about the first 6 months.

My biggest problem with DD8 was that she was so slow. I'm sure I have other posts describing how slow she is about everything. When she was about 3 months old I logged how much time I spent BFing her--8 hours a day!!! Before my second child was born, I insisted that my DH buy us a DVR. I did not want to spend 8 hours a day at the mercy of whatever was on TV at the time. My second dd only BF about 15-20 minutes at a time, but I still love having a DVR.

texas summer: Times sure have changed. I had two kids with jaundice and I was told to nurse them every 1.5-2hrs around the clock to help remove the bilirubin. But even while I was nursing my jaundiced baby, other women were being told the exact opposite - you can't nurse a jaundiced baby, formula is better.

My friend's DD was the same way - she'd nurse for an HOUR every 1.5hrs FOREVER!! I can't even imagine but she was her first so it wasn't so bad.

Yes I think you're right Dottie. The nurses had me force feeding the poor kid every hour, nursing and then pumping and handfeeding with a tube. Well, went the lac consult came in and saw the vast quantity I had pumped, she said "uh, 5min is enough for him on ONE side." Nurses wanted 20min each side. He was a 35weeker at that and only 5lbs. He was gaining 1lb/week as his growth was compromised in utero so he had some catching up to do. But everyone was astonished that could happen (rid bilirubin, gain so much weight) just on breastfeeding with no formula. Bfing is still thought to be an unknown in this country ... no confidence in it. Admittedly, it was tough when they asked how many ounces he was drinking or you'd read the magazines about how much formula vs solid food etc.

I BF DS29 until 8 months, DD27 until 11 months. When I had my kids, BF was coming back into vogue. My mom BF all 8 of us and it was more common to wean around 6-8 months, when the baby could drink from a cup. So, I felt some pressure to wean DS earlier. He went right to a cup, no problem with that; but we bought a goat and fed him goat's milk since cow milk upset his digestive system and he refused formula.
DD was weaned abrubtly at 11 months when I got mono.
DD bf both her girls, now 5 & 7. Her first, my GD7, was 3 weeks early and weighed 3lbs 13oz. There were some problems with the pregnancy, but GD7 was healthy enough. She was also jaundiced but not badly. She started gaining right away and was released from the hospital at 5 days, weighing a fraction of an ounce under 4 lbs.

My kids were huge...DD: 9 lbs, 2 oz and DS: 9 lbs, 1 oz. They were both full term--I went into labor on my due date for each of them. No jaundice for either, but DD (my first) had shoulder dystocia and her clavicle broke when she was delivered. That made breastfeeding difficult because she was in pain. DS had congenital torticollis which made breastfeeding a little tricky on one side.

I'm with you, Cathy.

I read about 3- and 4-pound babies and can't even imagine. I can't help thinking (in a kindly fashion) "Put the little guy back in and let him bake longer!" It must be so hard to have one so small and early. Both of mine were 2 weeks late, and the first had to be induced. (That was a problem all its own...)

Anyway, I had a 9lb. 4oz.-er (22") and an 8lb. 10oz.-er (21.5"). When my second was born, the nurse said, "Oh! He's so big!" I laughed at her because he was my little one! Any wonder I was oversupplied?

Nope, not a downer. Your kind of situation is precisely why I think one-size-fits-all does NOT work! We all have to do what's best for our specific kids and our specific families. Period. And judging others for making the best choices they could in a given situation is beyond stupid.

I'm glad there's some measure of encouragement to at least try to breastfeed now. But I would NEVER want anyone to feel that choosing to use formula was somehow wrong. It's not. It's a valid choice, and it is the best choice is some situations.

I'm sorry the situation left you feeling bitter. I can't say I blame you one bit (!), but it's a shame.

Bottle feeding seemed much harder to me. My son refused to take a bottle. He had colic and he wanted to nurse frequently. When I had to go back to work half days for a few weeks when he was about two months old, he always seemed to be starving when I picked him up. They could not get him to eat at the daycare. I ended up taking him to work with me for a few days and looking and praying for a way to quit my job. I did find a way, by selling a rental property I owned for much less than what it was worth so I could pay off my debts. I was able to quit my job and stay home with him. He was a much happier baby after that.

LOL about the butt bone, Dottie!

Forgive me if I've shared this story before, but it amuses me, so I happily tell it again and again!

When a friend of mine who had never seen my first son as an infant and I were both pregnant (she with #3 and I with #2), she was talking about how cute babies are when they're first born, "with their little stick arms and legs." I had no idea what she was talking about, as my son at birth had resembled a plump holiday turkey!

Then later, the same group of friends were discussing how hard the last month of pregnancy is. That same woman shook her head, "No, I don't think it's so bad..." It turned out she had delivered at 36 weeks EXACTLY with both her kids, whereas I had gone to 42 weeks with both of mine.

When she realized this, a look of horror crossed her face, and she exclaimed, "Ohmigod! You gave birth to a 6-week-old child! No WONDER the last month was bad for you!"

I laughed until I almost wet myself! (Which was not too hard to do with a fat holiday turkey sitting on my bladder!)

Never got beyond 36weeks w/ mine. The first was 35weeker emergency delivery, the 2nd two I woke up in full labor at 2am in the morning at 36w and a few days.

#1 5lbs even
#2 6lbs 5oz (my largest, plump baby) ha ha ha
#3 5lbs 3oz

Bah! I could have squeezed out a 6-pounder with my legs crossed!

7#7 oz
9.54# (big boy!)
8#2oz
8#8 oz

I gained the least weight with the biggest kid (36 lbs), the most weight with the smallest (45lb!). All were term or slightly (agonizingly) post-term. Normal delivery.

Is that 9.54 lbs, Cym?

My poor mom--she's only 5'4" but all three of us were over 9 lbs. One of my brothers was over 10 lbs! He was her last...

Aye-yi-yi! She must have been as big as a very, very big person!

DS was 9lbs 5 oz. at full term. I remember that last 6 weeks, I was in constant pain around my middle and when I described to to my doctor, he said, "Oh, yeah, that searing pain. That's your skin pulling loose from you ribs." I chugged a lot of Tylenol after that just to be able to sleep. And when I got a cold and coughed I would simultaneously pee my pants and throw up because there was not enough room for everything that was going on. I have never been great at sharing in general and I took even less pleasure in sharing my abdomen.

Did I mention I only have the one kid?

DD8 was 9 pounds 14 1/2 ounces. You might as well call it 10 pounds. DD6 was 10 pounds 10 ounces and was born on her due date. I begged the doctor to induce me early and he was going to. Then he called me back and said "Something came up" and he was going to schedule me A WEEK past my due date, can you imagine if she waited that long? She would have to have been born with a pair of shoes on so she could walk out of the hospital!

Hee, hee! It took me a few years to get up the courage to do the whole thing again! I had a terrible time with acid reflux while I was pregnant with DS. At one point, I could only stand to eat plain oatmeal and canned pears. There's no way I could go through another pregnancy. I'm terrified of the thought!

10 pounders, 'Neato! Ugh! SOOOOOO sorry!

Ah, reflux! The bane of my second pregnancy!

I threw up at least once a week every single week through my entire 2nd pregnancy, and usually much more than that. If I ate anything too acidic or too spicy, if I ate anything too sweet or too fatty, if I ate too much, if I didn't eat soon enough and got too hungry, if I drank anything carbonated...I yaked.

Basically I lived on tossed salads with ham and a little milk because it was all I could keep down. Even crackers were hard on my tummy if I had more than one or two. I lost a little weight at a couple of my checkups and they were all worried about me. I told the nurse I was doing the best I could! At least I was overweight to begin with, thank goodness, so the baby was okay.

I would wake up in the act of throwing up sometimes. DH was worried I was going to choke in my sleep. Who but drunk rock stars ever has to worry about that!?! I got really good at sensing when it was coming and making it to the bathroom, even out of a sound sleep. Weird...

The worst, though, was when I threw up our anniversary meal in the parking lot of the restaurant about a week before I delivered! DH and I laughed at the "$100 puddle" I had made. But it didn't seem fair to STILL be throwing up a week before delivery! Aren't you supposed to be over that particular ickiness about 6 months earlier!?! Harumph!

So I feel for you, Cathy! So yucky!

Did I mention that one was my last pregnancy, too?

I threw up the whole nine months too. The worst part is all those people telling you you'll get over it. I don't think I had a single serving of fruit in the last trimester and I considered every meal with the same question--how will it feel on it's return journey? Mostly I ate milkshakes since they passed the test.

Ah memories!

Kriston, I had morning all day sickness until about the sixth month. I tossed my cookies twice a day like clockwork. Never in my sleep though...that sounds awful! I used to wake up in the middle of the night and HAVE to eat something. I felt like a slave to my stomach.

Throwing up was a pain with #2 since I would always wet my pants when I threw up.

Ooo! Shall we compare delivery stories?


This is one of those female bonding things!

Dottie, you got to try them all

#1, 40 wks, natural birth, 23 hrs back labor (whew!) It felt like someone was pounding a railroad spike into my spine.

#2, 40 wks, induced. I stuck it out until they o.d.'ed me on pitocin causing tetanic contractions. The epidural was heaven!

Female bonding!

Induced from nothing with #1. It's the only childbirth thing I'm evangelical about: don't EVER induce from zero! (To help labor once it's started, maybe. From nothing? Just say NO!!!!)

I endured 23 hours of bone-crushing labor, 3 hours of which was pushing, needing 3 epidurals and 2 pushing doses...and still no baby. They almost had to use the forceps. I was exhausted, so they let me roll over and quit pushing for a while. After 30 minutes of rest, my stubborn DS7 finally decided he was ready and came in just (just?!?) another 30 minutes.

Yeah, don't get me started on what happens when we let the suits make decisions about medical care...

OTOH...

I went natural with #2, warning my midwives from my very first appointment that I would not be willing to induce even on pain of death. They pooh-poohed me...until I was at 41 weeks (again!) Happily though, DS4 came on his own at 42 weeks. I delivered natural, but on my hands and knees (because being on my back was too painful), which was even exciting for the midwife and nurse--first time that had ever happened for them! They were so excited and funny about it. I guess it gets boring to do the same thing the same way all the time, even when the same thing is delivering a child!

Like breastfeeding, natural childbirth isn't one of those things I think everyone "must" do. I totally respect that everyone has different needs. But for me, natural childbirth was sure a whole lot nicer than the highly clinical experience of my induced labor. I felt fantastic after natural childbirth! All those endorphins! And labor itself really was not that bad for me when it came on it's own terms. DH says I have the best looking postpartum photo of any he's ever seen. I'm sweaty, but I look positively cheerful!

SUCH a better experience!

For me the induced birth was better. The natural birth was totally exhausting and ended in DD's shoulders being stuck and her clavicle being broken (I felt it snap like a chicken bone breaking inside me.) I needed extensive "repairs", retained some membranes, had giant nasty blood clots post delivery. I was extrememly freaked out by the whole thing and ended up with PPD.

DS birth was induced because we didn't want him to get any bigger (see above experience). The overdose of pitocin caused contractions that lasted 15 minutes and I started to seize. DH called the nurse and everybody rushed in, turned off the I.V. and gave me a stadol injection. Then they told me they recommended an epidural. I was so loopy from the stadol I would have agreed to anything. I remember them telling me to sign a consent form and I couldn't even focus my eyes. But I scribbled something on the paper anyway. The epidural was great, and I actually got to enjoy DS' delivery. The whole thing was over faster, I was in better condition at the end, and I didn't suffer from depression with DS.

((hugs)) No! I think I was more scared of having PPD again with #2 than anything else...

Yep. I took Zoloft, too.

My depression, was entirely antepartum, as in the 9 months preceding the birth. I felt so good to have my abdomen back, it didn't bother me that I had to sit on a donut, I could barely walk and I had 7 migraines in 3 weeks. I was clinically depressed during, but not after. Antepartum depression is often overlooked because it is not as common as postpartum, but it still happens. For me, I am not sure about the chicken and egg thing with the depression and the constant nausea--at some point they probably reinforced each other. I am still amazed that anyone does this process more than once!

((hugs)) acs! I have huge amounts of sympathy for anyone who had to go through depression. It scared the heck out of me!

My labor was induced with pitocin and everything seemed to be going well until the heart monitor showed my son's heart rate dropping and my husband says it actually stopped at one point. The doctor ordered my sister to turn off the video camera, she told me we had to get the baby out NOW, and they put an oxygen mask on me, told me to push as hard as I could when I couldn't feel the contractions and they had to tell me when I was having one, and then they tried some vacuum thing that didn't work so they had to use forceps to get him out quickly and the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck possibly causing mild birth asphyxia.
My husband and I have always thought his difficult birth might have something to do with his sensory integration issues, hypotonia and motor dyspraxia since no one in our family has this.

Lori, your birth experience sounds like both of mine!!! I was induced with my first one and everything went great until nurses started running around, putting an oxygen mask on me and scaring me to death. The doctor had to use the vacuum thing to get him out as his heart rate was dropping. Luckily he was fine though. With my second one I told the nurse about my horrible experience and she assured me it wouldn't happen again, and wouldn't you know it, it did!! This time the cord was wrapped around his neck and the heart rate was dropping and the vacuum thing had to be used again. He got a horrible bruise on his head and developed jaundice so bad we had to rent the glowing light pack to get his levels normal. All this on top of horrible pregnancies where I was nauseated and/or sick for the entire 9 months!!!

This definitely helped make my decision not to have another one! But we were very fortunate that both of the boys were just fine in the long run.

Yikes! Oh, so scary! Glad you both wound up with the wonderful kids you have, Lori and E&C!

And sorry about the PPD (or APD, acs!) to all, too. I dabbled in depression at other times, but thankfully escaped it's pregnancy-associated form. I can't imagine how hard it must be to suffer from depression when trying to care for a newborn, too.

Ok I'll join in!

PG#1 - m/c
PG#2 - PROM 2nd trimester
PG#3 - bedrest at 15weeks due to contractions, possible cervical shortening, emergency surgery to sew my cervix shut (cerclage) at 21weeks, weekly u/s for fluid levels, baby growth, baby blood pressure, complete bedrest until 35weeks, low amniotic fluid, no growth, emergency c/s due to complete breech

PG#4 - cerlage surgery at 12weeks, bedrest started at 15weeks, home uterine monitoring for contractions, twice monthly u/s for AFI (fluid levels), went into labor at 36w5days, c/s

PG#5 - cerclage surgery at 12weeks, bedrest started at 16weeks (not as strict since I had to take DS to pre-K but I monitored contrax and rested most of the day), went into labor at 36w4days, c/s

Yikes, Dazey! {{{hugs}}} That sounds like a rough, rough time!

It was no walk in the park. Ha Ha Ha. Seriously, the perinatologist told me when I was pg w/ DS8 (pg#3) "Mothers' usually know. If you ever doubt the baby is OK, you head straight to L&D." I was doing kick counts 3x/day. If the poor kid was quiet for more than 30min, I was poking him to make sure he was OK. He had an enlarged umbilical vein so we were concerned w/ blood clots so they were constantly measuring blood flow in the umbilical cord as well as in his head as well as bone growth scans, abdominal circumference measurements, fluid levels..... It was tough emotionally dealing w/ the what ifs.

But I have 3 healthy kids so I can't complain!!!!

Dazey, that's doing it the hard way! ((hugs)) It must have been a heck of a roller coaster.

Sorry I missed you, kcab. It was slow, so I surfed the 'Net instead of hanging out. Now I should be asleep, too...

Hey, kcab. Thanks for posting. I was watching a movie with DH. Hypnobirth sounds interesting. I could have used some relaxation!

I'm glad most of the readers of this forum have already had children. I try not to tell my L&D stories to people who have not had children yet.

I was in labor with DD8 for almost 2 days. I had to have my cervix softened then had pitocin. Since I was not allowed any food or water for 2 days I was dehydrated and suffered from low blood sugar (I am hypoglycemic). I about came out of the bed when the nurse tried to put an IV in my dehydrated veins. Also, dd never dropped. I had to push her all the way. Fortunately, I only had to push for about 45 minutes to actually deliver. The doctor barely made it upstairs in time to catch the baby. Ironically, since I had an epidural from the beginning I never felt a full-blown contraction. Because I had such a long and difficult delivery, I had a slow and miserable recovery with some mild PPD.

An unexpected drawback to having a long labor is that I kept having visitors. I finally told my husband not to let anyone in. I was too miserable to be polite to people. With my second child I did not even tell anyone I went to the hospital until after I delivered.

My second dd was breach and we had my nice c-section scheduled. The day before my c-section I went in for my final check-up and my dd had turned. She is always full of surprises. The doctor was happy that I would be able to have a V delivery ... I just cried.

When I went into labor a few days later the nurses kept telling me that the second one was always easier. They were right. I was only in labor for about 20 hours and I recovered much faster. I did take time to have a good meal before going to the hospital the second time, which helped immensely. Although I did experience some full-blown contractions with my second, I didn't have to suffer through too many before the epidural came to the rescue. I admire those of you who could do it without drugs. I have too much aversion to pain.

Good lord! I can't imagine having visitors while in labor

Polite?! I would barely have been able to acknowledge their presence between the hee-hee's and hoo-hoo's.

Summer, I can't get over this "only 20 hours of labor" stuff! Yikes! My longest labor was 14 hours, and all my births were natural and went like clockwork. Almost makes up for nine months of morning sickness! I lost 12 pounds (10% of my weight) in the first trimester with Artemis- her pregnancy was the worst. Three year old Hector would sit beside me reading a big pile of books while I puked and napped, puked and napped...

I had a new doc for the last baby and he out me on anti-emetics. What a lifesaver!

All these pregnancy horror stories reminded me of a conversation I had with DS back when he was about 8 or so. He had asked me some innocent question about pregnancy and I started telling him my stories. He seemed interested so I just kept talking about all places I had thrown up, bursting into tears for no reason, and what it felt like to have your skin pull off your ribs, etc etc. I had gotten carried away and I was definitely whining about it.

Then I realized I was talking to an 8 year old boy and that this might be upsetting. So I asked him, "How does hearing this make you feel?" And he replied, " Just really glad I'm not a girl, Mom."

OH I LOVE it acs! "Just really glad I'm not a girl, Mom."

The most frustrating thing...as you all know w/ HG+ kids, is the people who don't understand. I got the "Oh I wish I could lay around bed all day." "Oh it must be nice to lay in bed all day." There were the people who got it and would say "Aren't you going out of your mind?" Yes I was. I had a great career, was working 12hrs+/day, in a beautiful city, very active to laying down on my left side 24/7 only allowed to go to the toilet. Next time you have a friend on bedrest, bring sympathy and her favorite treat. 8-)

My favorite tidbits...

"visitors while in labor" -- Cathy A (I agree this would never have flown with me)

"puked and napped, puked and napped..."--Lorel (somehow this is a very graphic image--you poor thing! Didn't you have a lot of kids, too?)

"Just really glad I'm not a girl, Mom" --acs's son (wait till he learns about menstruation/PMS...or maybe he has...)

Yes, visitors in labor sounds like cruel and unusual punishment to me! Who are these people?

So, perhaps there's such a thing as being too well-liked!

Most of the visitors were well intentioned people who expected to visit a new mom and her baby not someone still in labor after being in the hospital for 36 hours.

Ah! That makes more sense.

Still, when you hear the poor thing is still in labor, wouldn't you go home and not bother her? I mean, she's pretty busy!

Dazed... we sound like two peas in a pod... kind of...

I started having contractions at 23 weeks and was on bed rest too. Looking at your next few kids, I'm kind of glad I only had one. But then again, we had to go the in-vitro way just to get pregnant with our DS.

So the whole story would be:
Four years of trying....
Celebrating a successful IVF... (yahoo!!)
Terrified upon finding out that we had one in the uterus and one in the fallopian tube..
Followed by emergency surgery to remove said fallopian tube...
Celebrating that I was still pregnant with DS...
Terrified by contractions at 23 weeks...
Bed rest...
And an emergency evacuation of the whole town at 32 weeks due to a raging forest fire. Spent 4 weeks on bed rest in temporary lodgings in a strange town while not knowing where my OB had evacuated to...
Returned to town to find that my street had been the final fighting line of the firemen... the other side of the street burned to the ground while our side survived... 244 houses lost in all.

I think someone rewarded me by only making me go through 3 hours of labor! But at 36 weeks DS was really ready to come out.

Just thought I would make you 20 hour labor people feel better!

Ebeth, that's amazing! I'm glad you have a wonderful son after all that.

oh Ebeth your story gave me chills! YIKES!

It is definitely a story to tell DS and his kids some day. Quite honestly, I was so focused on staying pregnant that I didn't really think about it at the time. I just took each day as I found it. Sometimes amidst all of the scrambling about giftedness, IQ scores, and school decisions, I occasionally need to remember to stop and thank God that DS is here.

I think I'll go hug my son now!

You made me smile! Thanks!

Ebeth - yes me too!!! I have a photo album of all the u/s DS8 had in utero lol. The other two had many as well but no where near as DS8. I even have him on video! They love watching it.

oh cool!

LOL! "Now where did that mouth go? I know I left it around here somewhere..."

My funniest story about DS7 in utero was when I was about 9 months pregnant (So I still had a month or so to go! Ugh!) and my DH laughed explosively, right next to my belly, at something really funny.

DS did the "startle reflex" in a BIG way. We could actually see his hands and feet hit the sides of my belly! And boy oh boy, could I FEEL it!

After he was born, we joked that they could skip the hearing test. We already know he could hear quite well, thank you!

I am late to the party since I was in a canoe for the past 4 days but I thought I'd share since I had a great time reading everyone else's stories.

To start I have 3 children and never breastfed any of them. I actually pumped for 8 days of my DS2 life but supply issues caused me to stop.

DS5- born at 34 weeks (5 lbs 8oz) due to PROM. Delivered via c/s since he was in a breech position. 2 week NICU stay--breathing, eating issues. He is tested as PG.

DD4- born at 37 weeks (6 lbs 14 oz) and repeat c/s after ROM. Breathing issues at birth but no NICU stay.

DS2- born at 35.5 weeks (6 lbs 10oz) and another repeat c/s after preterm labor and PROM. Breathing issues at birth and a 2 week NICU stay.

I also had insulin dependent gestational diabetes with all the pregnancies which is why they all weighed a fair amount for their gestational age. It was rough but I am so glad that not only are my children healthy today--they don't seem any worse off in the IQ department despite the rough starts.

Kriston - I have a similar story with the wind blowing the door shut. DS8 jumped so hard....unfortunately he was breech, recall that I had a cerclage to hold my cervix shut, AND he had his feet right on my cervix....can you say OOOUUUUCHHHHH!

My favorite moment right after DD's birth, she was of course screaming, they showed her to me and I said "It's OK baby, Mama's right here," and she immediately shut up, turn her head, opened her eyes, and looked right at me. It sent chills through me. It was a complicated c/s (took over 30min to cut her out) so I was in surgery for quite some time afterward but I couldn't wait to hold her again. the same thing had happened with DS5.

OK, mine were pretty easy. Woke up in the morning in labor, had them both between 4:30 & 5:30 the same afternoon. DD27 almost was born on the toilet. Labor was strong, but she wasn't dropping. At that time it was procedural to give an enema close to delivery. They finally decided I was close enough to delivery at 5-6 centimeters and gave the enema. She came out before all the traces of the enema came out!

Here's a story my best friend told about her daughters boyfriend. He is extremely smart, I don't know his LOG but he got a full ride to MIT. When he was born he had the cord around his neck, and he was blue. The doctors did everything they could to revive him, but declared him dead. They placed him on a table and went about their business of making sure mom was OK. A nurse heard a whimper, turned and saw the baby moving. As adults, they joked about how smart he would have been if hadn't been deprived of oxygen at birth.

That's remarkable! One of my brothers had a difficult birth with the cord around his neck, etc. He was so bluish he looked like a grape. He was still responsive, though, and was fine.

I got chills reading this! Wow!

My ds was born when I was only 6cm dilated by forceps as his heart had stopped. His cord was wrapped around his neck several times and he was not breathing. It took a team of over twenty people to resusciate him and they were in such a hurry to deliver him that they forgot to cut the cord. They were actually going to call it as they worked on him for ages. They had to cut from front to back without any anaesthetic or pain releif as I had been rushed up from the bath soking wet and naked with no cover through two wards. My placenta had aprupted during a too fast labour. Excrutiating.

He too looked straight through as soon as placed in my arms which astounded the entire team as he had had such a traumatic birth and had suffered a head trauma and prolonged anoxia.

He spent the first night of his life on the critical list in scbu itu. I so very nearly lost him.

He spent five days on special care and was lifting his head up to see what was going on by the time he left. He was the biggest baby there at five pounds.

I thought Id had it rough until the girl in the next bed was admitted following a caeser. With no anaesthetic! Seriously.

The funny thing is that they tracked him for a year following that as the forceps caught him and they were convinced he would sustain brain damage.

Not to be a nit picker, but just for the record, MIT does not give merit aid. If your friend's daughter's boyfriend got a full ride, then he was determined to have great financial need. MIT has so many outstanding applicants- there's no incentive for them to give merit aid.

Rachibaby, what a scary delivery! I'm glad that there was no lasting damage.

OK, I don't know the family's financial situation. I knew the kid was very smart and got a full ride to MIT, I'm not sure who paid for his scholarship. Sorry if I presented it as MIT paying his way.