Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Personality and grade-skip

A light bulb went off yesterday for me about how personality could play a role in grade-skip.

Without testing, I think DS is more gifted than DD.

However, DS is very reserved and DD is very bold. I can envision DD being the child who shouts out the answer in class; whereas, DS knows the answer half way through the question and says nothing.

How do you think personality will play a role in terms of grade-skip?

P.S. I am just being curious. My children are happy where they are.

I'd say that either personality has its pluses and minuses in terms of a gradeskip.

More reserved kids can be "blenders" who don't make waves with peers, and within very short order, regardless of their obvious physical young-ness, go nearly unnoticed as "different" by peers.

More socially gregarious/assertive kids tend to read as less mature by peers... BUT... those are also the kids (IMO) that seem more likely to get their needs met. But that is true in almost any setting.

I imagine (having only the former type) that one probably winds up spending just as much time on the phone and at the principal's office either way, but in the latter case it's for different reasons than the former. With the former, you'll largely find that administrators (and even many teachers) "don't see a problem" when your child is doodling and reading silently all day, day after day, and still pulling in 100% on everything. The children themselves don't make waves, and they aren't a problem for the teacher* either, so the thinking is often that you must be a TigerParent from Hades.

* the exception, of course, when you have a stealth disruptor for a child in this situation-- that's the kind that encourages classmates to do things that s/he wouldn't dare... and those classmates DO those things. There are many leadership styles that work, let me just add here, and introverts have their own ways about it.

(Don't ask how I know that one, either.)

I know two kids of the same age, with very similar cognitive/academic profiles, but polar opposite temperaments. One is absurdly extroverted, while the other is shy to the extreme (curiously, they are very good friends). The extrovert was grade skipped twice (and subject accelerated) in elementary school, to good effect, while the shy one was subject accelerated, but not grade skipped, also to good effect. Eventually, they both ended up being homeschooled, which has also been positive for both.

I think personality plays into the effectiveness of a gradeskip, but, I would agree, at a level that is more complex and subtle than simply saying that extroverts do better.

Interesting topic - fascinating to hear what others have to say about this. I have 2 very bright kiddos: DD8 is a DYS, my uber-extrovert, has been tested; DS6, an introvert, has only had achievement testing. We have not had any skips as of yet, but I see subject acceleration, at a minimum, on the horizon for one or both of them.

DD is outspoken and will quite confidently, disagree with a teacher or classmate (she has gotten much better about this, thankfully). DS is MUCH more shy, is an uber-pleaser and is a teacher's dream: learns easily and behaves almost perfectly.

DD is just generally, harder to miss...she is a "squeaky wheel." DS - I really worry about him - because he'll sit there like a good kid, while he could be learning NOTHING. Yes, I felt like a Tiger Parent from Hades when I tried to explain to his teacher what he was doing at home - but unless a teacher catches a glimpse of what he knows/can do (and because he is busy being GOOD, he might not SHOW what he knows), he blends too easily. I am still trying to figure out how to advocate for him without seeming like a crazy Tiger Parent! So I am finding this topic interesting.

Let's be careful not to make this a binary proposition about extroversion/introversion. Extroverts can be blenders, too, if they have a strong dose of agreeability. My DD scores strongly on both, and that's how she started slipping in under the radar. I got more attention at her age despite less extroversion largely because my agreeability was SIGNIFICANTLY lower than hers. If a lesson was below me, I did not feel restrained in displaying my contempt.

Post grade-skip, DD continues to blend, which in this case is a good thing.

I agree. Even though I am an introvert, I am fairly assertive.

However, if a child isn’t a squeaky wheel per se (regardless of being an extrovert or introvert), advocation could be more difficult.

Dude, I agree and I see your point.

Although my DD is becoming more "agreeable" with maturity (or at least more tactful), she cannot hide the way an introvert can. DS, the introvert, blends so well he can virtually DISAPPEAR. DD couldn't do this if she tried, because she ALWAYS has something to say/share.

I'd propose that the agreeable non-assertive introvert is a double-whammy!

I did not feel restrained in displaying my contempt

And see, my DD prefers to suborn others to do it for her. With considerable success, I might add.

NOT a pretty picture for an incompetent teacher, that's for sure.

I don't know if it is personality so much as it is self esteem/confidence.

The successful grade skippers that I've seen had an air of confidence to them. This translates to the people around them.

The people that I've seen not do well with a great skip were not self-confident and that translated to peers and teachers.

Edited to Add: I mean self-confident socially, not necessarily academically.

The thing is, though-- how do you KNOW who is grade accelerated, just looking at a group of kids? Without me telling others DD's age, nobody DOES know. I recently had the surreal experience of having to INSIST to another parent that no, really-- I know that my child isn't seventeen years old. Really.

She blends that well. It actually causes other kinds of problems, but I mention that to note that social maturity doesn't always look like extroversion or high self-esteem.

DD is VERY timid about being a "bother" to anyone-- so she tends to use all of that excess cognitive horsepower to blend in and not make waves or draw attention to herself. She's learned that such attention is seldom good news socially in the long run, as it makes other people feel insecure to be around you. So she plays along with the "oh, me too" game.


She's a complete social chameleon. I've seen a few other high LOG kids that were like that, too. I was one myself.