Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Asynchronous development, supporting skills q's?

My oldest is eagerly racing ahead in all his interests right now. He wants to go further and deeper but gets frustrated with his own lack of supporting skills abilities.

The things that most seem frustrating to him are
1. Writing - it has come on beautifully now that he sees the need, but he is not yet eagerly writing anything longer than a couple of sentences.
2. Auditory distraction - he was diagnosed by an OT last year with auditory discrimination issues and he is getting upset because he is so easily distracted by noise around him. I don't really get this because I don't have this issue.
3. critical analysis skills - While I keep explaining to him that these take time to develop, and I do believe that he is ahead of most 7 year olds in this area, he gets frustrated that he doesn't how how/where to start on comparing information, compiling the best of the info on a topic without endless sifting through repetitive information and how to know what is valid and what is not.
4. Ability to sit still - since we more unschool I am quite okay with him working as long as he is able/wants to. Again he is expressing frustration in only being able to get through half of what he wants to before needing a physical break. (esp in Music and science right now)

These are mostly supporting skills from what I can tell. I think he will grow into most of these, and I already see drastic leaps weekly in these areas.

My question is this - how can I help him take the general leap into the higher level of where he wants to be with these asynchronicities? How do I support the strengthening of these skills, and is it necessary to offer this or will it happen on its own?

The frustration is definitely a sign that he uses to express the need to take the next step - we have seen it often thus far in his little life; I think that he has made huge bounds of progress since he was in therapy when leaving school two years ago, and so the curve seems so steep and that's okay for us... I just want to help him get to where he is comfy and wants to be without making things harder for him if that makes any sense.

I think right now he is on the cusp mostly of the leap from foundation phase to intermediate learning phase (ie grade 3-4/5), some of his thinking, definitely his reading/comprehension skills and definitely maths skills are already higher than that, but he seems to be reluctant about moving fully into the intermediate phase of overall "stuff".

Perhaps my brain is still too "Schooled" to see how to help him, all I can come up with is "he should be able to write at least a few paragraphs on something!" so I need your help

Any ideas, sharing of thoughts, opinions, stories, anecdata etc welcome.

Things that have worked here:
1. Typing rather than handwriting to get ideas down. Using PowerPoint presentations to organise thoughts with writing and dropping and dragging pictures and diagrams.
2. Noise canceling headphones. With or without music playing they reduce other external noise.
3. Mind maps. Check out the Inspirations app or website. There are other helpful programs. Inspirations can turn maps into lists etc
4. Gym ball to sit on. Trampoline for short bursts of physical activity.

I have found DD makes leaps at unexpected times in her executive functioning skills. Learning for skills isn't a continuous curve, it has plateaus and sudden steps up as different elements of skills are assimilated and ultimately come together. I am sure you are being wonderfully supportive. Hopefully others will have some tips for you.

It's frustrating when physical abilities are no match for cognitive desires!

Truly I find this to be one of the largest challenges out there for children in school at this point in time - there is simply *so* much info. When I was in school we just had the encyclopedia and if we were *really* researching something we could go to the library and look for books... but that in and of itself was very limiting and time-consuming. At your ds' age, I would suggest providing a lot o scaffolding for him - select a few sources as go-tos for general info that he will use regularly (my kids have a set of these at school for online research... and I am really sorry... I can't remember what they are at the moment!). Help him choose a set of books to read from the library. Select a few videos etc - the idea is, give him choices and a good range of material, but don't just throw it open for him to search through everything. I would also probably delineate two different types of assignments - for topics he is really interested in and wants to dig deeply - let him do that without making him create a finished work product - don't require a summary or anything else. If he thinks up something *he* wants to do for it, fine, otherwise, just let it be research for the sake of research.

Separately - entirely separately - give him small assignments that will help him build the skills of summarizing, collating info, etc. Take it in small steps and build on it.


Would it be help with frustration if *you* set some time limits so he doesn't feel like he can't sit still long enough to get through what he wants to? Kind of a mental manipulation trick, but if he has a tough time sitting still past 15 minutes, schedule his day so that he *has* to take a break at 15 minutes - and then make that break fun, and then get back to it.


I suspect it will happen on it's own, and I also suspect that they are the types of skills that won't come sooner than they are meant to - he will mature into them when he's developmentally ready.


That's where I'd add support with what he enjoys rather than support to learn the supporting skills before he's ready - hope that makes sense!


Rethink that! First of all, if you walked into a same-age classroom, chances are the class would be working on one 3-5 sentence paragraph at this stage (or at least that's where they were at in our area at his age). And those were paragraphs that were *not* research-related Instead of thinking "write" think of other ways to digest, discuss, enjoy what he's learning. Talk about what he reads, take him on related outings, watch videos that are related etc. Then work on writing and summarizing skills separately.

Good luck!

polarbear

you guys have been so helpful here! thank you

These are all valid and useful ideas and we will use most of them in the months ahead.

thank you again!

Re: the sitting still

One of the things we are thinking of trying is a standing desk. There is one specifically made for students with a bar that they can swing gently while they are working, to alleviate some of the need for movement.

I definitely second the Swiss ball as a chair recommendation. I used one at work and loved being able to bounce and roll around constantly. The only snag is that the seat of your clothes wears out after a year or two on the ball, but that probably won't be a big deal for your DS, as he'll outgrow the clothes before he wears them out.