Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Tips for finding an au pair?

It's likely that we're hiring an au pair for next year: it turns out to be cheaper than full-time daycare/preschool plus before+after school care for the 2 kids.

DD (8) is 2E: she's PG with ADHD, SPD, a lot of anxiety. For her, I'd need someone who can support executive skills deficits, will 'get' that she has multiple disabilities but is also very bright.

DS (4) is, above all, a reckless wild boy. For him, I mostly need someone who really DOES have eyes in the back of her head. I'm anticipating that this will be relatively easy as a requirement, compared to DD.

If you've had an au pair and have gifted or 2E kids, do you have any advice on finding one who can appropriately manage and support your kids?

Look for a recent psychology or teaching graduate at your local university would be my suggestion. That's how some friends of ours found an outstanding nanny for their son.

We have had a number of au pairs and have many friends that have done the same... I would highly recommend an experienced/qualified nanny to meet the needs of your family over an au pair, you get what you pay for!

Best of luck.

Find a gifted someone who is either studying part time or just graduated. Make sure they have a drivers license. Make sure they understand more gentle parenting approaches so that they can give the compassion and understanding.

This worked so well for us - she really got my boys and now still loves them and visits them and hangs out with them, babysits for me even though she has other things to do.

Sent you a pm

I know you guys all mean well, but I'm a single working parent in a high COL area, and I can't afford a nanny or even a local student at our local minimum wage (which is 30% more than the hourly cost of an au pair). I knew some families with gifted kids when DD was in preschool who had had great experience with au pairs, but I never thought to ask them how they'd found a good match...

I would just be really honest to save time and explain that you need someone with extremely high, positive, upbeat energy that stays at that level until the children are asleep.

Someone who is having a social life that has them out drinking at night is not a good fit for a gifted family who hits the ground running (loudly) usually very early and keeps going.

People can be very put off and think, "What is wrong with that family?" We wonder, "Why do they seem so nonplus?"

A match is someone who enjoys an adventurous, anything-can-happen-today type of attitude.

Let's be honest. We can tell that super-enthusiastic, upbeat people can really get on peoples' nerves. So, nerves of steel. Calm. Not going to a negative place when the kids tire them out.

I thought youth would be the answer, but it is more attitude, energy level, true mental curiosity. Finds everything interesting. Won't scream if the child studies one ant for thirty minutes.

Maybe asking word of mouth among friends and family for a good reference. Someone who meets your specific list of requirements.

I left a message once at a local teaching college, but never received a response. Wishing you good luck.

There are several au pair matching services. There are also blogs such as Au Pair Mom, with entries such as this one discussing hidden costs of au pair room and board: http://aupairmom.com/au-pairs-still-low-cost-childcare/2008/09/15/celiaharquail/

I was a Nanny while in college long, long ago and I have a suggestion you might want to explore. Would another family be willing to do an Au Pair or Nanny share? It might be challenging finding another family with kids that get along, but it could ease the financial burden on both families and you could get a higher quality Nanny. I agree with checking local University's and Child Development students. If you have any Nanny questions feel free to PM me. I went to school, but stayed a Nanny for many years while I played music at night. I loved it and our favorite family friend (who is like the best Auntie/Grandma you could dream of to my son!) was one of the first families I worked for. It can be a very intricate relationship. Good luck! Also, is there a stay at home parent that you know (and like!) that would be willing to do after school care for you?

I'm surprised that Au Pairs there are cheaper than students... here it's the opposite. Au Pair is most expensive, then nanny and then student care.

Sorry - that is where I was answering from.