Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DD is out of control- what's going on?

Do you have some studies or something for this? I only ask because this is so DS! And when someone takes power in a meaningless way and "just to show him who is boss," it doesn't just result in an annoying meltdown (or at this point he may not even tantrum as he used to as small child); it seems to really affect his sense of self worth and depresses him. I was the same and had pretty rigid parents who were all into "showing you who was boss" and "because I said so" and I think it resulted in..., not sure the word/phrase - mal-adjustment? certain poor emotional skills? And of course was really bad for my rel'p with my parents. So I raise DS differently. And I am not permissive but a person/kid like this has to be approached differently... Anyway just wondering if there is literature on this...

I remember DD at 6. She also became incredibly defiant and generally made life miserable at home. It was the second time (first was 3.5 years) that I went back to reading parenting books wondering "who is this child?" I recommend "Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant" by Louise Bates Ames. The series is old, but has such great advice. This is in addition to all the advice already offered. Sometimes it may be a developmental issue that, thankfully, will resolve. Hang in there!

Ah, as the mother of an intense little firecracker - take heart! You are not alone ((HUGS)). I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but I am not there yet!

DD8, an outspoken extrovert, HAS learned to be fairly compliant at school, but she sometimes then EXPLODES at home. She procrastinates about completing her homework (this is where the arguments start) and generally complains to the point of practically making those around her miserable. We did not have her tested until this past year (sort of unavoidable since this is when the G&T program starts), and I have now started to wonder if there is a bit of an educational mismatch going on - we are still sorting this out.

DD is a ridiculously picky eater (a super-taster perhaps?). DD has not exhibited the toe-walking and does not seem to have any allergies, but I did want to offer support for the intensity...boy, oh boy - do we understand that!

Thank you all. Truly. You all have given me so much to think about and process. But most of all..I no longer feel ALONE!! And, thank you for commiserating with me!

Polarbear, thank you for your input; you are always so helpful. I do not believe she has any undetected 2e issues. As my DS has vision problems, I have had her eyes checked several times by the behavioral opt. and thankfully she has no problems.

1frugalmom, yes your DD sounds just like mine! I hope you are able to find something/someone that will help your family. Have you read living with intensity and emotional intensity for gifted students? I tried some of the techniques yesterday and it helped. Hugs!!

My DS has ASD and she couldn't be more different from him so I am pretty darn sure she does not have aspergers. Super confident and GETS social nuances extremely well. Always has.

Ahhh..the meds. I have not thought of the side effects. Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention. She was on Zyrtec and I have put her on Claritin today. She is also now on nasacort. I have tried avoiding medicating her this much for some time, but allergies where we live are horrendous so I am having to medicate her everyday. I will update if I see any of the behaviors subside.

She is having no behavior problems at school or her pullouts. Her 2nd grade teacher has told me that she does not belong in the group because she is so far ahead in her reading/comprehension but loves having her there. 1st grade teacher was concerned with her writing but is amazed how much she has progressed in the last month and how she has slotted into the class routine. She feels this class whilst it has helped with the writing is not an appropriate placement.

Dude, thank you for your wise words; Your posts are always so spot on. I agree this is happening with DD also.

Thanks again for all your input, I truly appreciate it!

Allergies?

DD8 is not too bad off with itchy eyes and runny nose, but her attitude 'suffers' quite a bit when she is irritated by allergies.

Spring is bad; we give her 1/2 dose of allegra childrens most days for spring and it really makes a huge difference: cooperative sweet child vs. overheated meltdown rage queen.

oh, ps, I just saw the posts about allergy meds making people cranky, and we've had that too for me and ds: can't take zyrtec or the other major one, claritin for more than a couple days without starting to tear people's heads off or break down crying. Oh and digestive issues to boot.

Seriously they should put that on the label.

anyway you do have to fiddle with what works for each person/ how much. we usually go with partial doses around here. example: one whole allegra adult pill for me still makes me have tummy aches, one 1/2 pill I am good, allergies are pretty well under control as well.

also, I and ds are getting allergy shots to help longer term, and I do see some actual improvement, for both of us.

Have any here had success with with Quercetin?

My DD was put on Zyrtec after a viral infection years ago and after reading this thread we are seeing the allergist later today!