Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Bullying issue

That's a misreading of the law.

An IEP covers not only academic but also functional skills-- including social skills, participation in class or small group work, turning in work on time, all kinds of things. If you go to Wrightslaw and put "functional" into their textbox you'll get a lot of information.

I was told that he would only qualify for an IEP if he had issues that interfered with his education (obviously, being bullied makes it difficult). His OT told me last week that they never even give OT services with a significant fine motor delay unless there is a delay in another area. I had heard the same thing from others in other districts (i.e., that they have to have something that interferes with their education to qualify).

I tried searching Wrightslaw and did see that functional behavior must be included in an IEP, but I couldn't find anything about whether a child could qualify based just on that. It isn't something I have researched before, so I will look into it more.

Honestly, though, I doubt I would get anything even if I pushed. We are in an area with few resources and few therapists. They have been very willing to give him gifted accommodations on an informal basis and I think I would be less likely to get that with a poor relationship with them. If it becomes critical, though, I will definitely look into those options.

How is this going? Is the regular classroom teacher back? Has the school come up with a means to communicate variances to a substitute teacher?

I see your point but a) I didn't mean first in line just before the other kid, and b) how would he know that it was intentional? Still it sounds like it has been sorted now.

Did I miss something? Don't the other kids have parents? What information is being given to them? Don't they have some control over disciplining their children?

One of my concerns in all this would be to make sure the school is informing the other parents and at this age I imagine most if not all of the bad behavior will come quickly to an end.


I found out that ds11 (at the time) was getting some grief from one of the students on his bus. And by association, by some bigger buddy of the first student.
I knew the mom, so that helped, but I just skipped over all the inter-school communication and went straight to her. The next day the boy had written an apology note and really never ever did bother my son again. In fact, I could tell at scouts (which they also attended together) that the boy was making an effort to be nice to my ds. This boy has since moved away, but the other larger boy has been progressing to a regular nice guy so that is good to see. (I also had another word with him about using negative language such as 'that game is gay!').

Our situation was unusual I suppose, however surely there is a way for the other parents to be informed and work with their children.

I also worry about the idea that kids who get bullied bring it on themselves by being irritating, know-it-alls, or easy targets.

This is a pretty good article, I thought it would be more fluff, but seems to have some meat to it:
http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/slideshows/3098-10-bullying-myths.gs?page=7

especially interested in the pages on parental influence, the cases for and against self defense, the social climber (bully).

they advocate against contacting parents directly, however I will say again, it worked for us. Guess we got lucky.

I really appreciate these comments. The regular teacher will be back on Monday and I will be meeting with her then. So we should know more at that point.

However, my son had a very good day last Wednesday. He felt very positive. The principal says they are going to give him some additional enrichment to help him in class and they are going to purchase some of his favorite educational iPad apps to use at school.

So now it's a question of seeing what happens next week. Some of the other kids have also given examples of bullying and have said they will also report those to the principal if they see them again. I don't know if they will, but there are multiple people looking out for problems now.

Yes-- Lillie-Felton.

So the bully gave him a hard time again today and the principal had left early so he had no one to tell. This is so frustrating... I could ask them about IEP options, but am not sure what more they could do. What do all of you think?

I am so sorry to hear this.

Some may say the principal needs to be informed about the bullying as soon as possible. You and/or your son will want to make the best use of the principal's time. You may wish to prepare, by having your son write a complete description of the incident, as it occurred, in chronological order. Creating a numbered list of points can make this easier. For example (using a fictitious scenario):
1. I was sitting at lunch table #5, unpacking my lunch.
2. I looked up at the clock.
3. B reached over and took my cookies from my lunch.
4. Until that moment I did not know he was there.
5. Then he laughed and stared at me.

All information in this example is manufactured.

You may wish to e-mail the principal. You might include
- the description of the incident,
- a statement that your son knows he is supposed to contact the principal if any such incidents occur,
- unfortunately the principal was not available,
- thank the principal for having a plan in place,
- request a back-up plan of individuals whom your son could contact if this situation were to recur.

While the presentation irks, indigo's suggestions are excellent. Do you have an email address for the principal? If not, write it all down to give him tomorrow, and also ask for one for the future.