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... Whatever the teacher needs-- Kleenex? glue? These women send out emails to get it.
Yes, some have called this achieving results through others.
Originally Posted by master of none
Why it is such a sought after position, I'll never know. It really isn't a lot of work, but it gives you direct access to the teacher and you can wield control over the parents-- at least the ones who care about social standing.
Ah, yes... the Kleenex and glue purchasers are rarely acknowledged but those who achieved results through others... THEY are the recognized heroes.
Originally Posted by master of none
Our school board often remarks about the disparity in schools being represented in the difference between 30 candidates for room mother in affluent overperforming schools vs 0 in underperforming schools.
Sadly. On one hand, there is no prestige in sending out e-mails which may not result in free donations from others. On the other hand donations are not the real parent-teacher collaboration which centers on finding the child's challenge level, developing an internal locus of control and sense of ownership of one's education, engaging the child in the classroom, making school work meaningful by relating it to the child's hopes, dreams, and goals, uncovering possible paths to careers which may be of interest, encouraging curiosity, supporting reading, etc.
I don't see anything wrong with what room moms or the PTA do, but if parental involvement is defined as
chaperoning field trips raising funds organizing in-class parties buying presents for teachers
it may be forgotten that some parents have informed opinions about curricula and educational practices such ability vs. heterogeneous grouping. I wonder if schools want parental input about substantive mattes.
I don't see anything wrong with what room moms or the PTA do, but if parental involvement is defined as
chaperoning field trips raising funds organizing in-class parties buying presents for teachers
it may be forgotten that some parents have informed opinions about curricula and educational practices such ability vs. heterogeneous grouping. I wonder if schools want parental input about substantive mattes.
many times last year i wondered if all this "involvement" was designed to lull parents into a false sense of school-responsiveness and that if, as class mom, i might actually be a pawn in that game. Look all these events! Look at how many emails we send! Look at everything the school is doing for you!
i genuinely did want to be a part of the school community, and at first blush it did look like a caring, responsive place. given all of this "for-the-students" activity, it came as quite a shock when any discussion about academic adjustments was rebuffed in no uncertain terms - even when my 5 y/o kid sank into a clinical depression. and fwiw, my "status" (ha/whatever) as a class mom bought me exactly nothing.
as far as our experience goes, i think you've hit it right on the head, Bostonian.
Every Sunday it brooded and lay on the floor. Inconveniently close to the drawing-room door.
Well, that clearly isn't the kind of input that schools want, Bostonian.
Honestly, we've had such hideous experiences with other parents in these kinds of positions that I find it difficult to be unbiased about them. I hate doing this kind of thing, but the alternative has most often been that my kid winds up being completely unable to participate at all if I don't. Strange, I know...
My own view of Room Mom is that she's some kind of grown up Queen Bee acting as social director for the classroom, and often as not dictating to other parents and the teacher about non-educational activities, most of them involving copious amounts of expense and food.
The other kind of parent volunteer? The one that asks the teacher "how can I help?" rather than "I have this great idea"? Well, THOSE parents I have no problem with-- they aren't the ones that make my life a nightmare.
Sadly, even the fairly innocuous cupcake-wielding room moms tend to be a serious problem for us personally. That nonsense is a very real reason why we've not been able to put DD14 into a classroom setting. I know that most people don't like to hear that, but believe me, if your child has dietary restrictions that result in life-threatening problems, those cupcakes/cookies are a HUGE problem. Bottom line? They simply have no authentic educational purpose in a classroom. That doesn't even begin to touch upon the kind of unbelievable OTHER uses of food that get promoted by the more over-zealous type of Martha-Stewart-wannabe Room Mom.
I've often wondered why it seems that so many B&M schools now apparently double as full-time party venues, and why so many parents seem to have a deep-seated need to act as social directors worthy of a luxury cruise ship or top-notch wedding planner. What is that?? Furthermore, why on earth are teachers not more empowered to tell them to pound sand?? It's not like most teachers are thrilled about losing that much instructional time either.
In our school, the homeroom moms do not assist the teacher in anything educational (honestly thank God - I don't want these nasty women "working with" my son in the classrooom). We do party stuff and chaperone field trips...We coordinate supply donations for the parties. We collect money to buy the teachers and paras gifts. It's not bad to have that kind of help, I know. I assume it can be quite a help to the teacher on party days if she knows how to use us (like the teacher has the other homeroom mom bringing in hot coco for the the kids polar express party - HRmom has to make it and put in in some sort of cooler to keep it warm/hot, birng it and set up, and hand it out to the kids and then clean it up... Nice that the teacher doesn't have to do all that!
Also, I should count my blessings - from what I understand our principal and some PTA member got together put a number of limits on what the parties could have in terms of baked goods and food spreads, etc. because, apparently, it was getting a little crazy with homeroom moms sort-of out-doing each other. For example, there is a list of food items that we have to adhere to and we get the other parents to contirbute those...and it is kept the same across the board so no one class' food spread is particularly more elaborate than another's.
It's just that the women who volunteer in my school tend to be cliquey, gossipy, mean-girl types. All the same women pretty much volunteer for the same things, they're all on yearbook and PTA and such ... And of course they all talk about each other, etc... There is drama and power spats. The other thing they tend to do is volunteer for everything - so they are homeroom AND library mom AND yearbook mom, etc...
My co-homeroom mom seems quite keen on having her buddies at the class parties which at the holiday party resulted in like 5 adults being there (there is a "rule" against that too but she seems to be doing anyway). I find her really pushy about it and when I kind of protest alittle she acts like I am purposely trying to exclude people. She's also a bit control-freakish or maybe it's a power thing - but she just takes right over ... Which is fine with me until it becomes insulting. Our PTA does a lot of fundraising, the parents are all very involved, etc. The downside it it can get ... well... gossipy, cliquey, yucky.
The thing is, imo, our school does all of this fluff stuff - grandparents day, american education week, class parties... But you're not really getting a look at what is going on at the school b/c that is not when you see the real day.... It's fluff - an hour of arts and crafts. I guess one can see what goes on socially a little bit. Really, a little less homeroom mom and fluff stuff and a little more education would not be a bad idea.
I liked being a library volunteer the best. It was really a help to the library b/c the librarian and the assistant get overwhelmed helping kids find books. I would check in and check out the kiddos and shelve books... I could watch how well my son listens and behaves during the story, how well he found books, how well he interacted with other when it was time to sit and read and talk about your book quietly with friends, etc. I could also see how the teacher handled things.
Well, that clearly isn't the kind of input that schools want, Bostonian.
Honestly, we've had such hideous experiences with other parents in these kinds of positions that I find it difficult to be unbiased about them. I hate doing this kind of thing, but the alternative has most often been that my kid winds up being completely unable to participate at all if I don't. Strange, I know...
My own view of Room Mom is that she's some kind of grown up Queen Bee acting as social director for the classroom, and often as not dictating to other parents and the teacher about non-educational activities, most of them involving copious amounts of expense and food.
The other kind of parent volunteer? The one that asks the teacher "how can I help?" rather than "I have this great idea"? Well, THOSE parents I have no problem with-- they aren't the ones that make my life a nightmare.
Sadly, even the fairly innocuous cupcake-wielding room moms tend to be a serious problem for us personally. That nonsense is a very real reason why we've not been able to put DD14 into a classroom setting. I know that most people don't like to hear that, but believe me, if your child has dietary restrictions that result in life-threatening problems, those cupcakes/cookies are a HUGE problem. Bottom line? They simply have no authentic educational purpose in a classroom. That doesn't even begin to touch upon the kind of unbelievable OTHER uses of food that get promoted by the more over-zealous type of Martha-Stewart-wannabe Room Mom.
I've often wondered why it seems that so many B&M schools now apparently double as full-time party venues, and why so many parents seem to have a deep-seated need to act as social directors worthy of a luxury cruise ship or top-notch wedding planner. What is that?? Furthermore, why on earth are teachers not more empowered to tell them to pound sand?? It's not like most teachers are thrilled about losing that much instructional time either.
Originally Posted by 22B
Less Homeroom Mom stuff, more education, I say.
{LIKE} ^
OMG - TOTALLY AGREE with this. But sometimes I feel like I must be a 'stick n the mud' to feel this way LOL
I'm co-class mom this year. I like it because I can help by doing emails mostly (organizing voluntary group gifts for teacher, chaperones for field trips, etc) and I can be useful occassionally while sitting in bed for an hour every night with my toddler :p
Also I get first dibs on chaperoning the big field trips and picking the driver for my kid for the others, because I've seen how many parents don't even buckle their kids or use seats incorrectly. This was my main motivation, after seeing some parents letting their kids run through the parking lot where SUVs were backing up, and hang out the windows of their own SUV.
I'm so oblivious to catty politics, I'm sure I'll step in it someday. Ah, middle school all over again!
I'm glad we don't have anything like this here. The teacher puts out sign-up lists for the class parties (Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's), generally on the first day of school or at the first Open House a few weeks into the school year, and we can sign up for what we'd like to bring, or not. Someone signs up on that list to be the one to call everyone and remind them when the party is near. If your kid needs more glue or pencils or something, the teacher sends home a note (hardly ever happens). There are moms who volunteer and go in to help with things like cutting and copying and stapling, but as far as I know they aren't organized into a posse or anything. They are, of course, the PTA types, which is the "clique" and I avoid them as well as I can. I work and don't get to the school much, so I don't have to worry about all of that. Thank goodness.
We don't have any organized teacher gift thing, or if we do, nobody's ever told me or asked for money.
