Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional DS5.3 pushed and punched the school OT?

Yesterday I got a note that DS5.3 (in Kindergarten) pushed and punched his OT (he gets some OT help with writing once a week). He's not a violent kid. Won't hit or anything like that unless provoked (as part of play) or unless he feels threatened in some way. He's mildly on the spectrum (PDD-NOS) and has really bad Sensory processing problems (they come and go but when they come, he's all out of sorts). I am not excusing his behavior, he knows he can't do that but what I don't understand is how can he feel pushed so far out of his comfort zone by a THERAPIST that he feels the need to push and punch? I can see how it would happen ... him not writing what or how they want him to, the therapist trying to physically show him leading his hand or something along those lines and him not wanting her so close and touching him. He does NOT like people in his personal space but he WILL give a warning and will ask for his space and if he doesn't get it then he'll push you away. Shouldn't an OT see the warnings before something like this happens??? Or is it that because he's only getting school OT for writing (and private OT for sensory and other issues) they are not even paying attention to his other needs and are doing just the writing as if he was a "normal" kid? He had to have a conference with the principal as a disciplinary action. I spoke with the principal just for a minute and was told DS was supposed to write his name and he didn't and punched the OT ... so I know that's NOT the whole story. I just feel really bad for him. He's struggling with writing, it's starting to make him really frustrated and now even gets in trouble at school because of it

Anyone have experience with similar behavior in their child? How does the school handle it (when it's a 2E child, not just a child who's truly misbehaving)? Should the OT let it get this far???

Thanks! That's what I was thinking too! Absolute no about punching another kid ... no to punching a teacher (but teacher should be also able to see the warning sings) ... but an OT? And then DS has to have a conference with the principal for it??? hmm

I've been seriously thinking about pulling him out to homeschool after Thanksgiving. He needs a lot less stress put on writing and more fun with learning what he's really interested in. We have a great private OT so she can always do the writing with him if we feel he needs it. I'm thinking he's just too young to do a lot of writing given he's the youngest in class and has always had motor skills problems on top of everything else. But what happened yesterday really rubbed me the wrong way

ITA with mon - and unless there's something else missing from the story, I don't understand why the Principal would be involved.

FWIW, re what might lead him to punch like that - it could be anything you've thought through above, but it also might be just pure frustration at having to write (if he's got a fine motor issue, especially if it causes him pain to write). Have you noticed if he rubs his wrist when he's writing or holds his elbow or anything like that? Our dsygraphic ds used to get *extremely* upset about having to write when he was your ds' age (prior to our understanding he's dysgraphic). Our ds is an *extremely* laid back personality, probably one of the most mellow people I've ever known and he was the same way as a young child - until he had to write. He through pencils, stomped, kicked, tantrumed etc when he had to sit down to write - partly because it was really difficult, but also because it hurt, and we didn't realize it. I can totally imagine that if he'd been 5, and an OT told him to write something and he was frustrated by it all he might accidentally lash out and hit - not meaning to, but more of a reflex at the frustration of it all.

Have you talked to the principal or OT about it? I'm curious what they have to say. Whether or not you decide to homeschool I'd seriously look at what benefit (or not) your ds is getting from the OT work - if it's stressing him out, I'd be inclined to drop it for now or look for a different solution - maybe add a tiny bit of fine motor into his private OT?

Best wishes,

polarbear

DS5.3 is the one I've mentioned previously we do have concerns with possible dyslexia and dysgraphia. His biggest problem with writing is even just thinking how to form the letters. He's known the alphabet since he turned 2 but still makes the same mistakes. Anytime he's doing writing, he's constantly asking "wait, how do you write this letter?" Even the first letter in his name "N" half the time he writes it as a mirror image and it's a letter he has to write numerous times a day. p/q/... n/h ... b/d are always an issue. But even something as simple as number 6 or letters G/g. The school is putting a huge emphasis on writing lowercase letters and only using upper case letters for beginning of a sentence or name and that frustrates him beyond imaginable. He's happy to come up with the uppercase. And I let him get away with it. If we do go with homeschooling, I'll probably try cursive with him because to me that seems a lot easier. And our private OT is trying different grips to see what would work better for him since he's really uncomfortable holding the pencil most of the time.

I need to cool down before I contact the school about this to dig deeper. Don't want emotions flying at the wrong time. But if we decide to keep him in school and not pull out, I am thinking about scheduling a new IEP meeting because every time I brought these potential issues up in the past, I was told we would address it if there ever are problems. And this to me definitely IS a problem.

mon - I have never met this school therapist. DS used to have a different one last year in preschool (though she still works there as well from what I know). I didn't even understand what the note he brought home meant at first. I thought that I was the one to meet with the principal. So I called school and the principal told me that no, he was the one who met with DS yesterday after it happened. All he said was the therapist asked DS to write his name and he wouldn't and pushed and punched her. So I know this is not the whole story. But asking DS directly makes him really upset (asking him about any issues he has at school just get him upset and he starts lying, and saying he doesn't remember and just does anything to wiggle out of the conversation). I might wait till the parent teacher conferences in a week and ask then when I have a one on one with his teacher (I believe this incident happened while having therapy in class) and will get more info about the whole OT thing we have going at that point.

My six year old DS isn't always cooperative during therapy sessions but he doesn't get violent or act out, he just acts goofy/silly and does the opposite of what the person says. I can see how a therapist might get frustrated and try to force a kid, or punish them, and it can spiral out of control.

DS's speech therapist at the school actually locked a child in kindergarten in a timeout room or closet, the kid freaked out and was yelling "I can't breathe!" because he was having an asthma attack. The ST thought he was faking it and walked away. The child had to be rescued by another teacher, and taken to the school nurse for a nebulizer treatment.

wow! That's some serious mishandling of the situation!

DS is the goofy silly kid too when it comes to avoid doing what he's supposed to. I only see him angry when it comes to writing. And only really swings his hands when he's physically touched and pushed to do something. But he will ask you to stop doing it. So it's only if it continues that he might push and punch. He's been in various therapies since 3 months old and for the most part enjoys them. So makes me wonder how this OT handles her work / and him?

I just wonder whether he might have felt unable to ask the OT to stop, if in school the relationships with adults feel more authoritarian than those within which he's been able to ask? If so, he then might have gone to punching without warning because he was trying to be compliant until he just couldn't, iyswim?

that could also be the case. He tries really hard to keep it together at school. But I know he'd first push, certainly not punch right away. It could also be he was just swinging his hands to keep the therapist at a distance and they took it for punching. Not sure how to explain it but I'm sure you know what I mean.

This person is a therapist. She should be paying enough attention to be able to prevent or quickly deal with such things. It seems to me adults often treat kids they don't know in ways they would never treat another adult and then act all outraged when the child responds in the best way they know.

If it is I going there needs to be a "how are we going to handle this" meeting, but it would be much more sensible for the OT to change their approach. I bet they would focus on managing your son's behavior though.

Eta. I have hit people twice as a adult, both by mistake when they came right in my face in an agressive manner and I flung my hands round in panic.