Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Sometimes I wonder if I was a gifted child.

Hello everyone,

I'm new here and I thought I'd write some stuff about myself because I need some help figuring something out. I hope that's ok and I hope I write this in the right forum. This is probably going to be a very long post and I apologise in advance for that. This is very important to me though so if you read it all I'd very much appreciate it. Also, sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, English isn't my first language.

Anyway, sometimes (or actually quite often) I wonder if I was a gifted child. I started talking when I was 6 months old. That's when I said my first real words (and not just baby talk). When I was two years old you could talk to me as if you were talking to a child several years older than me. People have told me I was "old for my age" and "wise beyond my years". I learned to read when I was 3,5 years old and I loved books. As a child I was obsessed with knights, Lego and other things. I loved science from an early age and I wished for things such as books and a microscope (which I got) for Christmas. I read a lot and spent a lot of time on my own but I also remember spending time with some friends or siblings, running around in the forrest and pretending I was a soldier, lion or a ninja.

I was a very quick learner and I loved learning things. I had an incredible thirst for knowledge. I was very curious, observant, introverted, introspective, sensitive, a bit withdrawn, cautious, perfectionistic, musical, honest, rule-following and I asked a lot of questions. Throughout my life I've always been told I'm smart and intelligent, that I'm like a brain on two legs and that I'm very detail-oriented. From the age of 10 or so I remember thinking people my age were really boring and immature so instead of hanging out with them I often stayed after lessons and talked to my teachers about science, existential questions and religion. I asked loads of questions all the time and sometimes I think they probably thought I was annoying because of it. I did have some friends my age but I liked socialising with adults much more. When I was in my very young teens I remember being very frustrated about not being able to grow up quicker so that I could socialise with adults all the time.

Around that time I loved maths and numbers. I remember bringing my math books home and counting things even though I was done with my homework long before that. I did it for fun and in the last grade before high school I was doing first year of high school maths because I was so quick. Unfortunately all of that got me bullied. I was bullied for four years (when I was 12-15 years old). I never had the same interests as people my age. When they were interested in boys and makeup I was interested in maths and WWII propaganda. I tried to fit in with the girls in my class and I really made an effort to laugh when they laughed and like what they liked. It never really worked out though.

I got depressed. I don't know why but I'm guessing it was because of the bullying (which was all about spreading rumours, staring at me and laughing at me etc) and because I felt so lonely all the time (even though I had a few friends). I've been depressed ever since and I've also developed several anxiety disorders (social anxiety disorder, generalised anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder). In high school I couldn't be bothered to do anything. I underachieved. My love for studies and learning things seemed to fade. I now realise that it was because of my depression and anxiety and that the love for knowledge and learning things never really ceased.

Today I'm studying biomedicine at university but everything I've been going through and everything I'm still going through has caused me to be incredibly sensitive to stress etc. I've got quite a huge problem with perfectionism and I often feel insufficient. I feel a bit defect since my problems make it difficult for me to do some pretty basic things like socialising properly or speaking up in class (I stopped answering my teachers' questions when I was 13 or 14 when people at school started staring at me or laughing when I answered questions in class, no matter if I gave the correct or incorrect answer). I still feel lonely. No matter how many people I surround myself with I still feel like no one understands the way I think.

Perhaps the constant feeling of never being properly understood has led to the frustration I feel (and always have felt). I'm aware all of this might come across as unbelievably arrogant (I do apologise for that) and I worry that you'll think I'm really stupid for writing this wall of text and sharing my life story. However, I've never talked about this with anyone before and I can't help but wondering why I've always felt so incredibly different. It's a mystery I've tried to solve since I was about 10 years old (I'm 23 now). I still feel very different and like I think differently than other people. Perhaps that's all in my head though. I don't know. All I know is that most people aren't like me. That's what people tell me and that's what I feel too.

How do you know if you were a gifted child? If I was one, how come I feel so stupid and insufficient nowadays? If I was one, could the fact that no one seemed to understand that, in combination with the bullying, have led to the problems I've experienced and still experience today?

Neutrino, I understand.
Spend some time with Hoagie's Gifted Page: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/
It's helped me understand my childhood reactions to others.

I encourage you to read the book Living with Intensity.

You sound a lot like my mother, who graduated h.s. at 16 as valedictorian and who has said that she has felt so different her entire life. She didn't realize it was because of her intelligence (well, didn't realize how dramatically different that was) until she was quite far along in life.

There are some very good blogs and articles online for and by gifted women. You are not alone.

I would agree with ljoy that www.hoagiesgifted.org offers some great references. I would also suggest reading some books about gifted adults. Most had similar experiences of feeling different, remaining outside the norm in terms of social experiences, and feeling misunderstood. I also agree that blogs about gifted individuals can be a helpful means of gaining support, as ConnectingDots indicated. See http://giftedchallenges.blogspot.com/2013/08/top-blogs-about-gifted-children-gifted.html for a list of great blogs.

I hope that you start to feel more comfortable with who you are and find a group of like-minded peers who understand and appreciate you. Good luck.

Hey,

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to have a look at the links you sent and the blogs you recommended. However, isn't it weird if I read blogs like that and perhaps start identifying with what's said there? I mean, I can't just assume that I was/am gifted, right? I've never taken an IQ test (and I probably won't dare to do so since I'm afraid it'd make me disappointed) so I couldn't possibly know for sure. Do you know what I mean?

I'm not really sure where to go from here.

Anyway, thanks for commenting. I appreciate it!

I think if those links resonate with you and you identify with them, you likely were/are gifted. Again, read Living with Intensity. If I had read it 20 years ago, it would have allowed me to recognize and embrace and understand aspects of myself and to make better choices. Also just google gifted women, gifted underachievement and you will find lots of info. that will help you to move forward positively.

The SAT and ACT are arguably IQ tests. You can find SAT-to-IQ conversion tables online. If you are gifted now, you were probably gifted as a child. Being gifted is positively correlated with school grades (I know there are exceptions, so the correlation is less than 1.0) and in being in the top track when tracks were offered.

It would be interesting to create a formula that estimates IQ from data that is available for many people, such as SAT/ACT scores and school grades.

ETA: When I was a kid, there were no NCLB tests, but there group aptitude tests such as the Otis-Lennon with "stanine" scores on a 1-9 range. If you remember your scores on such tests, that could help estimate a childhood IQ.

I wouldn't muddle those too much (SAT with IQ,) there is definitely a ceiling on how much fluid intelligence is being measured versus the less ceilinged crystallized intelligence.

To the OP: gifted is just a concept, it isn't a switch or a magic category. People who are labeled gifted range all over the place in terms of how close to norm they are. But curiousity and a passion to learn are hallmarks of intelligence along with the full range of details. You are a more complex and interesting person than a simple six letter word.

However, depression, anxiety, OCD are not just labels they tend to represent real brain chemical imbalances and aren't your fault, and they don't point directly to specific causal life experiences. They are also things that can be somewhat managed with medicine.

If you want a quick (and fun) thumbnail on the fluid side of intelligence, try the Ravens Matrices online: http://www.raventest.net/ Don't worry about results, have fun; there are hundreds of IQ tests online, take them all and analyze them to figure out what they tell you about your mind. Slip in a cognitive psychology course as an elective.

Neutrino, I don't think your IQ matters at all. If you read something about some else's experience and it resonates with you and helps you, then more power to you.

It is so so common to have the sorts of issues you're having now at this stage in your life. I know I and most of my friends did.

Are you getting treatment for your mental health issues? Medications, talk therapy, CBT, hypnosis, meditation, etc... there are many many strategies that can really help you feel better and function better.

Is it possible to take a break? I don't know where you are education-wise, but it sounds like maybe you're doing a phd, which is so stressful. I had several years of stops and starts and drifting due to similar mental health issues. But bit by bit things came together, and I am now generally a happy person. I get stressed and feel I can't cope from time to time, but I'm pretty satisfied by the small things in life and confident in myself. But it took being a basket case for the first half of my 20's, then getting my footing for the second half, so don't feel you're useless or a failure for not seeming as together as people around you appear to be.