Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Please help me choose Out of District Placement

Personally, if I was even considering spending $50k/year on a school, and having to move to go to it, I'd just do homeschooling and hire a few tutors and enroll her in some local educational programs. Of course, I live in a state with a MASSIVE amount of homeschooling going on, so there'd be a large amount of help/support/programs available.

It's something we considered before DS9 got into the charter school.

Also, I can't remember, school option #3 - is this where they also send the kids they label "ED"? If so, just go ahead and strike that off your list. It will be a terrible time for your daughter w/her anxiety.

UPDATE

We met with DD"s psych today. She said that she had spoken to the SW from scary school #2. She let them know that any school where DD is placed will need to have an open door policy and be completely transparent about their program. Psych tried to explain how damaging her prior school experiences had been. After we filled her in on exactly how our intake interview went she was completely appalled and told us to remove them from consideration. She will now likely have to engage in some damage control with DD after just that brief experience.

We laid out the pros and cons of both the 2E school and the (somewhat) local spec ed school. I asked her about my thinking that the next year really needs to focus on rehabilitating the LD issues and working on getting DD independent in some form of writing. She agreed. While the 2E school is the obvious best choice academically all the problems related to uprooting DD make it less inviting.

So the decision looks like we will give the spec ed school a try. We are not - in our minds anyway - committing for the whole year. We will do everything we can to set up a situation where DD can be successful but if it becomes clear that it is not meeting her needs in any way we will immediately pull the plug and pursue the 2E school. Assuming they still have a spot for her we would then be able to do the separation with total confidence that we did everything possible to keep her home. I think that will make a difference.

So crossing our fingers that we will be moving on to a better situation. Crossing many more body parts hoping that a year from today DD is independent reading and writing and we have a handle of the math issues so that we can better evaluate what she needs moving forward. The insights of everyone here have been very helpful - thank you. Knowing that many of you only started leading with the giftedness in late 4th -5th grade has taken some of the pressure off. The idea of the pressure being placed on her ability to perform in order for the family to reunite added an exceptional extra perspective to the idea of separating.

Now hopefully onto healing and moving forward...

Pemb, I hope it's great. You have certainly done your due diligence! And I think your DD is learning that you won't let it rest until problems are fixed, which is a fine, fine lesson.

DeeDee

I can really sense the relief in having made your decision after so much thought and investigation! It's a relief, sometimes, just to decide.

What a good plan; the one which minimizes the "what if's" down the road.

Good luck for a much better year! I hope it works out really well.

I think you've made the right decision, and I agree that it sounds like a great plan. I hope it works out well for you, and even more, for your DD. She has been through so much - you guys deserve a break.

If she is busing home from this school, you might want to talk with her about what she can "accomplish" on the bus. That varies a lot from kid to kid, and it could be getting all her homework done, or socializing, or disappearing into a book and having her "alone" time for the afternoon so she's charged up for after-school activities when she gets home. But having spent some time thinking about what the bus ride might be like and what she can do about it seems like a worthwhile thing to do over the summer.

This is great news!

Option #3 for a year may make all the difference. Still wondering if you can get references?

P
This sounds like a good plan, and better like DeeDee said, you did your due diligence and this is a reasoned decision, it leaves you with options if it doesn't quite work, and prioritizes your family. And if it does work well, then you got what was needed without all the disruption. Even better, you can now REST. The decision is made. So no over worrying - I would say no worrying but we are parents, that would be impossible!!!

DeHe

So glad you have a decision!