Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Non-Gifted Parents/Gifted Environment-Xperience?

I'm wondering how many who visit this site have never been identified personally as gifted (or else know that they aren't) and feel intimidated by the board.

It's been difficult for me to follow some conversations and I admit I feel out of my depth here. But I just know in my gut my son is gifted, and so I continue to read threads...sometimes without logging in.

Is there a "good 'ol boys" mentality within the gifted community that (inadvertently?) exclude the average intelligent parent of a gifted child?

What has been your experience? I'd like to hear from both gifted parents and non-gifted if I could.

Could you describe what you find intimidating or exclusive about this forum? Jargon? Forays into politics? If it's jargon please feel free to ask people to define terms.

LOL I know what you mean, Ametrine, I feel like I need a thesaurus to write on this forum:

I was identified as gifted as a child. I don't feel any particular allegiance, kinship, or otherwise with people on the board, with the exception that I strongly identify with the issue of advocacy. I never feel quite like I belong anywhere, I always just assumed that was a part of being "gifted," different, etc. I don't exclude people intentionally, but I also don't have very much tolerance for intellectual insecurity either. I enjoy intelligent people and intelligent conversation, it gives me great pleasure and comfort. I wouldn't worry too much about people judging you, I certainly don't.

LOL squishys

I think there are probably several types of posts here. Three stick out in my mind at the moment, policy threads, general question threads and support threads.

The policy type usually start with a headline and link and lead to back and forth debate. These might seem to have only a loose tie to gifted issues.

The general question threads are more nuts and bolts issues. I posted a question asking for Audiobooks recommendations yesterday. Why did I post here? It goes without saying here that my five year old might be interested in stories with greater complexity than Amazon's idea of what a five year old would like.

Support threads, like The Ultimate brag thread, have more of a we are all in this together vibe.

My advice would be to avoid the policy threads. They probably aren't going to help you with your kid.

Use the search feature to get the information you want and ignore the rest.

Honestly, I'm not sure where my IQ lies. I do know in elementary, I sat alone with my desk in the corner working alone. Yet, I more knew how to get around working hard- I just memorized everything. I do enjoy interesting topics/ conversation. Yet, with 2 young boys and keeping them busy as they require a lot from me; I certainly am not able to keep up with books and interests I have.

I do worry if I am "good enough" and "intelligent enough" to stimulate both my boys- with ds6 labeled gifted. He is nothing like me in how he learns or how he thinks. Yet, hopefully- at least for now, as long as I provide opportunities and resources; it will be enough.

I truly hope you don't feel excluded. I don't think that is anyone's intent. I have read some threads that didn't interest me as much, but others I was grateful to have come across. (I am not a "word" girl as I say, but I am happy to learn new words.) I do think everyone here has the right interest in mind and does not intend to seem exclusive.

One other thought, trust your gut. You know your child better than anyone!

I fairly new and I feel welcome. Everyone is so helpful. I think you can always as questions about anything you don't understand. I always remember that all these boards are about (for me) is helping my child be the most balanced, productive and happy person reasonably possible - same as any parent. Here are some tools that based on my child's disposition might help that. In terms of "success", well, studies do show that's a product of just enough intelligence (115? 120?) and lots of hard work and a little luck! I like to remember too that resilience and character are key to contentment with self. So to me these boards help me, as a parent of a child who thinks a little differently, find support.

I like KJP's analysis of the board. My own breakdown is that there are threads in which people offer a variety of different post-types and that some threads lend themselves to a greater percentage of one than the other:

a) personal experiences, recommendations, or anecdote and opinion based on the same,

b) data/links to other resources, studies, or news articles-- those can be VERY heavy-weight in terms of content, and there are times when I have to really, really think hard and dust off my vocabulary to follow those (but I do generally enjoy them if the topic is of interest-- sometimes it isn't really relevant and I skip them),

c) speculative/playful,

d) support/emotional validation/comfort/congratulations


Many threads are a mixture of the different types of posts, but some are almost exclusively one type or another. I think it's clear that when you look at KJP's breakdown you can predict which types of posts will predominate in which types of threads, mostly.

Occasionally you get surprised-- by asking what you think is a nuts-and-bolts question, but turns out to be an advising thread instead. For example, I asked about precalc materials for independent study for my DD, and really didn't expect a lot of suggestions for her to be certain to have taken another 18 mo of math prior to high school graduation, only mentions of books, coursework, etc. and if I was lucky (which is why I asked here rather than relying on Amazon), why something worked or didn't. It's a good discussion of the factors to consider, though, so it's all good.

Welcome home.