Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school SO says DD is perfectly "average" but..(long)

Dude, I'm not sure what your point is. I never disputed that *some* places are awful.

I'm talking about places that my child or the children of close friends have gone to, so I know in some detail how they are run.

Unless your wife has a degree in Early Childhood Education, she would not be eligible for employment at the places I'm talking about.

Well, I can say with confidence that in the cases DW experienced, the perception difference was largely driven by the fact that she was an insider who had access to privileged information, so to speak. After all, this place in the example did not advertise itself with the slogan, "We'll keep your baby alive."

The information shared with the parents on a daily basis was often times an outright lie.

Disclaimer: Dude, please feel free to correct me if I'm misinterpreting you.

MegMeg, I think Dude is highlighting the problem of asymmetric information in making a preschool selection. In a heterogeneous market, all facilities have an incentive to market themselves under a friendly banner. Without search costs becoming prohibitively high in many locations, parents can't reasonably know what kind of preschool they are visiting, even if everyone is accredited, etc. There is simply too much individual variation.

It's a classic Ackerlof's Lemons problem.

Cross-post!

I think you said it better than I would have, though there are other factors.

First, this is a business, and the business is going to put itself forward in the best light possible, and may often make claims that are categorically untrue. So yeah, basically what you said.

Second, parents aren't privy to everything that goes on. They have to rely on secondary sources. Those sources are both unreliable... their children (maturity/perception issues) and the staff (biased).

And third, parents have an inherent psychological bias. If both parents have to work, and there's no other choice, then the parents really don't want to believe that they're placing their child in a bad situation. So if they're hearing and seeing one thing from their children, and another thing from the staff, selection bias skews the parent to want to believe the sunnier corporate message. There's a role here for cognitive dissonance as well.

So, many parents will report, "My child is in a really good daycare" regardless of the actual quality of the daycare, and even when they know there are problems.

I'm not saying that's MegMeg's experience, but the claim that great quality daycare is available from a number of providers in a small town is highly questionable. Norway seems to have some good ideas on daycare, but in the US, profits take precedence.

Where I live that model is called co-op preschool.

I don't know that it's THAT hard to get a sense of how a daycare or preschool operates? We chose a daycare for DD#3 last year and as we stood chatting with the director, after getting the fairly irrelevant tour, I had plenty of time to watch the other staff with the kids and see that staff at place #1 had bunches of kids sitting on knees or nearby, but that they weren't actually interacting with those kids, and instead were absent-mindedly distracting the children while they had nice chats with each other, the whole time that we were there. The other kids were milling around aimlessly. Place #2 on the other hand had visibly better staff to child ratios, the kids were all busily doing stuff (sand pit, pushing things, swinging, painting, puzzles, all manner o things), the staff were readily directing aimless kids to new things to try and they were getting down onto 2yr old eye level to talk to seemingly non-verbal kids like they would understand every word said to them. No staff having chats with each other because they were too busy talking to kids and getting stuff done... No guesses which place we chose. And every time I walk in I see the same thing - busy children doing a variety of activities and busy staff that see everything that goes on, walk away from adult conversation (with parents) to fix problems they see and who talk to the children like people who deserve respect. Would my DD rather spend a day 1:1 with a devote adult, of course; Yet I certainly don't think daycare is harming her and I do think it's actively beneficial to spend some time with kids roughly her own age (which there is little chance of outside of daycare, our eldest is older than our friends' kids and our youngest is younger).

Wonderful to hear you and your husband are reaching mutual understanding. Best of luck as you embark on homeschooling.

We did Montessori/Charlotte-Mason/eclectic homeschool with our DD, as well.

My MIL was similarly horrified that we weren't sending DD(13) to preschool... it just "isn't done" apparently, in her world. Her tone indicated that we should probably begin preparing ourselves for DD's eventual miserable life on the streets... ::sigh::

Unfortunately, we kept mysteriously getting left stagnating on waiting lists, or even more mysteriously, getting placed ON waiting lists even when other people weren't told about wait lists.... (yeah, well... disability is a beast that way, let's just say).

So homeschooling was more default than well-reasoned choice for us, but I have to say that I don't think that I'd do it differently even knowing what I know now from ten years out.

It was the right thing to do given the other options. Glad that your DH is listening and that you're working together as a team!

Ha! It was originally his idea, right?

Time really does disappear! My husband and I have already planned for me to be home with my son during his "preschool" time, which will run to age 3.

Then, we'll have to cross the kindergarten bridge when we have more information about DS' personality, needs, etc. Public schools here offer up to full day kindergarten for 4 year olds, which I think is too heavy an instiutional load for such young children. I'm also skeptical about the educational quality of our local schools when my 16 month old has already hit many of their curricular goals without instruction. We shall see...in the fullness of time!