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My DD5 is entering K in a couple weeks. The teacher gave us a "get to know your child" sheet with a few questions. My husband is adamant that we don't be "those parents".


I'm not sure what to put for this:
"What goals would you like your child to working toward in Kindergarten?"

I don't even know what to say here. She's already reading 4th-grade books with ease and enjoying them (understanding the humor and all) and she can do pretty much everything required of 1st graders for math at least. Maybe she could do more, I guess I won't know till they assess her.

Any tips on what to say here?

We had that same teacher question in K, and limited ourselves to "have fun and make friends."

I would like her to work on her social skills and to develop appropriate classroom behavior and homework habits. I am not concerned about her academic skills.

Write something about how you want to support her love of learning, and you want her to enjoy school.

Then you ask for a meeting with the teacher, and in the meeting, ask for the teacher's advice. Ask what she would do in your shoes, and ask if there's anything you can do as parents to support your DD's alternative learning needs.

Most teachers have the "all parents think their kid is gifted" attitude so you have to tread carefully if you don't have proof to submit. I myself heard "we have several early readers in the class" from my DD's (then 4) KG teacher (translation: "uh-huh, ALL kids are smart").

Just ask for her advice. Not "what can YOU do for our DD" but "what do you think WE should do?"

(It doesn't matter if you agree with everything she says - usually the best plans are the result of a collaborative effort with pieces contributed from all parties. You can still believe what you want even if she believes something else. What I mean is don't be disheartened right away if she doesn't say what you're hoping she will).

Teachers seldom appreciate parents asking for exceptions right away (they already have enough on their plates), but they do value being asked for their advice and input. Later on in the game (as I'm seeing with my 2e son) when they see exceptions and modifications working then they are more open to them and inspired to make child-tailored changes.

Go in with an open, receptive mind and keep the lines of communication open as well. Good luck

I like "have fun and make friends" but I'd also put something like "practise persevering with things that aren't easy for her", first because I think that's crucial, and second because it gives you something to ask about later. E.g. "How is she doing with persevering with things that aren't easy? Can you give me an example of a piece of work she found hard, and how she dealt with it?" should be a fairly tactful way of directing the teacher's attention to whether there is anything that isn't easy for her! Of course you may get "learning to get dressed faster" but that's an appropriate challenge too, just not the only one you want her to face!

Oh, good one. Love this.

Yes, perfect!

And this is her biggest challenge anyway- reacting appropriately to things that don't immediately work out for her. This week has been full of tears, screaming, kicking and tantrums (mostly from her ) and I'm just about at my wit's end with her.

Your dh may not agree with me, but fwiw, I would think through what your goals for your child really are, and put them on the form

I am not sure which set of "those" parents your dh doesn't want to be, but consider this:

If the "those" are parents who think their child is gifted (and each kindergarten teacher really is going to hear that from a lot of parents... or at least *I* heard that from about every other parent my ds enrolled in kindy with... none of whom oddly enough showed up in the gifted program lol... but I digress...) anyway... if he's worried about that, sure, the teacher may here that a lot and not give it much credence and heck, maybe it's not even going to pan out to be true for your child, or maybe it is.. but... what difference does it make? You can let the teacher know where your child is at now and what you want to see them achieve by the end of the year.

If the "those" means parents that have unrealistic expectations.. again.. the teacher is going to here this from a lot of parents. I seriously doubt that putting an unrealistic expectation out there on the first form of the year is going to negatively impact your child. If your child for some reason doesn't get to that expectation by the first conference and you then harangue the teacher and claim it's his/her fault and on and on.. *then* you're verging on being one of "those" parents and the teacher might not react kindly... but chances are it will be ok on this first form no matter how unrealistic it is in terms of goals.

If the "those" means parents who are pushy... take it from a person who is by nature not pushy - if you're convinced that putting what you want under this question on this form is verging on being pushy, you're *not* pushy and you're not going to come across that way

The reality is, sometimes teachers listen and really pay attention throughout the year, sometimes they don't. This is your chance, up front, to let the teacher know your hopes and dreams and goals for your child for this year - let the teacher know!

Best wishes,

polarbear

I think that's good but it might be more helpful to give more specifics and that may be what the teacher is looking for. I probably shouldn't be guessing about this but I think I would say something like - I would like her to experience challenges with a good attitude and to attempt to read more advanced chapter books by the end of the year if it is within her capabilities to do so, attempt to work on multiplication, adding and subtracting 3 digit numbers (or whatever is next in line for math for her) by the end of the year, to continue to expand her knowledge in areas that interest her (planets, history, whatever) and to learn more about things she hasn't already expressed interest in. (And you should probaly say something like...) - Her weakest area is her fine motor skills (as an example) so am hoping she can learn to write more legibly by the end of the year.
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I would also probably write about improving any weaker areas she has first rather than last.

Maybe my response would be inappropriate, I don't know, but I think if I was the teacher I would be looking for matter-of-fact responses that tell me what the parent thinks is logically next for his or her child to be learning.

You know, that might be the way to go. It's concrete and specific without being aggressive. As for it being out of the curriculum area for that teacher - well, she/he could decide what to do (or not!) about it.