Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Way tmi

Hey all!! Hope your summers are going well. I figure I will throw this question (problem!!) out there hoping someone may have had it and fixed it!!
My almost 7 year old DYS ... Here it comes.... Refuses to wipe his own tush after going number 2. So sorry if this offends....... I'm desperate! He's going to be starting 2 nd grade with 8 year olds... Here's how it goes down....
DS (from a bathroom) " I'm done!!"
Me "what am a supposed to do?"
DS "wipe me"

Ok I know... I've left him there without books or magazines or brochures or maps....... He can sit there for hours ... He thinks it's "gross". I've told him I think it's gross too!!!

He does have some upper body coordination problems which is why he has gotten away with it for so long.... But "I'M DONE!!!!!"!!!!!!
Help!

I'm totally right there with ya! My 3-year-old will do it, but my 6-year-old puts up a huge fight about it, but I know he does it himself at school. Sometimes I'm up for the fight, and sometimes I'm not. I have to pick my battles.

I told him that when he starts school this year I'm finished following him into the bathroom. We'll see if that works.

So, there you go...TMI from me, too! LOL :-)

I can so relate to this! Substitute DD for DS and I'm in the same situation. She will ATTEMPT to wipe, but that's only if I'm right there telling her to. Otherwise she doesn't even bother. I'm soooo tired of skid marked undies! She's perfectly capable, but it seems she just can't be bothered. Half the time she forgets to flush too :-( I'll be watching this post for ideas!

When he was first learning, he thought it was gross, but I told him to use LOTS of paper so his hand didn't touch his butt at all. I told him to flush after every wipe or to put the paper in the trash can so he wouldn't clog the toilet. Sometimes he would go through half a roll of paper, but he did it on his own. Also at first I would stand in the room with him while he did it and then I would come in and "check." He eventually did it completely on his own. We went through LOTS of paper at that time. The good news is that he is now a fanatic about getting every spot ha ha!

Since your son thinks it is gross, I'm hoping that giving him permission to use a huge amount of paper will help. (I mean, I still do that if I have to pick up a bug...I will grab like 10 paper towels for a 1/2" bug.)

Kate

Haha. He could use rolls if he chooses... And baby wipes are also available for his comfort ..... He is holding his ground on this one.
Do I let him sit there endlessly????? He could possible do that given his will and determination!!

When I was the mom of a newborn, I was visiting with a neighbor, and her very competent oldest child, age 6, calmly walked out of the bathroom, carying a wetwipe, found her mom, and whet 'tushie up' so mom could wipe it.

So I don't think it's unheard of for 6s to be 'not quite ready' to be fully independent. What I like is that the mom taught the child to have competencies around the behavior, and it was least difficult for the mom. Also the wet wipes.

It really does go by very quickly when looking back at it.

Good luck,
Grinity

We split the process up; first, I insisted that he wipe himself just once first, and then I did the rest; we shifted into him doing it, and me checking and finishing off if necessary; and then he started checking with a mirror instead of needing me to check. Wetwipes do make it easier, and the mirror also helped. If you still don't get cooperation for the smallest step forward you can think of, you just insist, using whatever technique you use for things you have to insist on!

I think it's great that this kind of thread can be here (heaven knows we will probably need it sometime, if not already), and thanks for labeling to warn off sensitive types!! Actually DD has clogged up toilets a number of times despite a number of discussions on using an 'appropriate' amount of tissue, and I'm not sure why it's still a problem but definitely hoping it resolves itself before she hits double digit age. Best of luck!!!!!!!

I was really hard on my youngest when he was almost three and not potty trained, and now that he's older I realize he couldn't - he had a fine motor coordination disorder that caused him not only to have difficulty learning to go in the toilet but also learning to wipe. I'm sorry I pushed him so hard now, because in retrospect what he needed was patience and kindness. The little tyke really was trying, but he was my third and I "knew" he could do it and just wouldn't since the other two were competent in the bathroom long before then.

I say this because you commented that he has "some coordination issues". That rings a bell. So ... as gross as it is, and as much as you are ready for this, too, to pass, please consider the thought that there may be something organic going on that is keeping him from doing what he ought to be able to do.

Good stuff! Thanks! ABQ, I am trying to be sensitive about any physical issues he is having I would just like to see him TRY!!! He just will not even attempt it.. That is the part that is frustrating me. I don't mind "double checking" his work 😱