Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Why did you choose NOT to accelerate?

Ok for the OP had to come back now and give some reasons our family considered not requesting acceleration. 1) tennis--it is pretty clear that we may have eliminated her chance to play varsity tennis in high school. But athletics is not our top priority, and she can still play in the city league, etc. and be challenged in tennis and have a sport she can play her whole life. She won't be in the 99%. It is highly unlikely she will be valedictorian. However--if she continues to be passionate about violin, it puts her closer to focusing on music. And most importantly--if she is to develop the skills that we all need to be successful in life, she is going to have to get some practice at actually struggling with her academics. (the only area I really anticipate this being an issue, even with a skip, is math--and I hope she will learn it is OK to get answers wrong, and to have to work to understand something.) We are confident that for our daughter that a skip is appropriate, and not skipping would be detrimental to her development.

I was offered a two year skip that was turned down for me. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, sports were fabulous and social life was fabulous and school was easy so I had tons of time to play and dream and play sports and do high level ECs. On the other hand, school was easy. Way too easy. I got used to doing well with no effort. My current work depends a great deal on my brain and knowledge, but it also depends a lot on my ability to deal with other people. I think I'd know more and would have worked harder academically with the skip, but I think my social skills were enhanced by school experiences with a variety of age peers. I suspect I am better at interacting the diverse backgrounds I encounter than I would have been if I'd skipped and not learned to fit in socially with kids who knew a lot less than I did.

For my children, I have turned down skips for several reasons. First, one or two or three would not help but would make the good parts of school potentially more difficult. The skipped kids that I knew in school, particularly the boys, didn't date much. Second, the skips weren't offered at the right times where it made sense and would have helped. Subject acceleration worked better because of logistics and school types and grades at a school. And finally, my kids have areas of interest with competitive aspirations. They enjoy high level competition and while they can have excellent results at a state or regional competition at grade level, it's much harder a few years up. If you look at mathcounts nationals, there are very few 6th graders compared to 7th and 8th graders. While a 6 yo is going to the national spelling bee this year, most of the winners are close to the maximum age and grade. While not impossible for a 15 yo to win national science fairs and get admitted to great universities, it seems likely that the same kid would have a better chance a few years later.

There are so many ways to do this. Skips can often be undone. Kids who don't want skips at one age can change their minds later and radically accelerate. Every child is unique and sometimes a skip can be a social blessing rather than a hindrance. Some very social kids are so social that they can blend with older kids seamlessly. I'm not convinced that the research supports one way over another. I try to focus on teaching resiliency and optimism and commitment to hard work so my kids can thrive in less than ideal circumstances and shine when opportunity knocks.

I had a grade skip when I went to school, and my wife had two grade skips. Neither of us thought there was a benefit.

So for our kids, we didn't attempt a skip, despite them being some of the older kids in their class. Socially it has worked out very well, as they are both well adjusted and popular.

Academically, it helps that our local school system is one of the best in Massachusetts, so my MG/HG DD13 still has academic peers. My DS10's skills are higher, so he doesn't have academic peers. Realistically, a two year skip would be meaningless for him, and anything beyond that I think would just be unreasonable.

I'll second that. If DD had some of the options available that I see people here talking about - in-class differentiation, multi-subject subject acceleration, ability-grouped classes working ahead of level, extracurricular academic pursuits, etc. - a skip wouldn't have been the least-worst option.

In our area, DD is one of the top kids in her grade, despite the skip. My sister lives elsewhere, and her DD (whom I suspect of being smarter than mine - she's certainly more obviously advanced) is not the most advanced kid in her classroom, even without a skip. All else being equal, I'd prefer my kid to be unskipped in a classroom more like her cousin's, but moving across the country would have been a worse choice for our family than skipping DD, and leaving her in the lower grade would have been worse than skipping her, too.

Our MG daughter, now 22 and in grad school, was offered a grade skip from second to fourth grade. We struggled for months with the decision, but in the end, decided against the skip. She is a late June birthday...her age played a role. We've discussed it through the years, and she still maintains that she's happy we decided against the skip. We supplemented at home and through extra-curricular activities.

Our HG son, now 9, was offered a grade skip from second to fourth (funny...we didn't request either skip.) Again, we struggled, but ultimately decided to forgo the skip, in spite of the fact he is a late November birthday, so not as young. He currently attends Montessori and they have been able to let him work at his own pace (largely) within his age peer group. In his case, I'm not sure where he would find true academic peers...certainly not one grade ahead. And, looking ahead, we really don't want him to head off to college early. He starts a traditional style private prep school in the fall. If they can't accomodate his academic needs, we may, once again, consider the skip.

For the record, while I didn't do a grade skip myself, I'm a late October birthday and started school at age 4...college at age 17. I knew no other way, so I was always comfortable with it. Tough decision...and one for each family to make for themselves, for sure. Good luck!

Thanks for all the insights! We had a productive meeting with DS6's "gifted team" at school (including the principal).

The team approved an acceleration if we want to go that route, but also said that they are implementing 'cluster grouping' starting next year and that this might meet DS's needs.

Has anyone had experiences experiences with cluster grouping? Can it be a good substitute for grade acceleration? Are there are particular questions I should ask about it?

Ul.H.

Our school has cluster grouping, and it can be good. It really depends what sort of level the kids in the cluster are working at compared to each other IYKWIM. There can be even more difference within the cluster than there is between the class and the cluster.

Does your school do MAP testing or some similar test that lets your kid show above grade level knowledge? If yes, this will be a good tool in deciding about whether clustering will be enough wthout a skip. If there are other kids within your child's grade level who are performing at or near her level, then clustering may work. But if her scores are closer to the next grade level's cluster kids, you'll know that she'll likely do better with both clustering and the skip.

In our experience with DS8, he started 2nd after a grade skip with no clustering (because the tea her needed to get to know the kids), and the skip itself was nowhere near enough. Then a few months later, he was grouped with another kid for math, and that was a bit better, and he also had a few pullout groups with other kids from other classes, so not true clustering but more like differentiation with pullouts with the kids he would have been clustered with if clustering started at 2nd. None of those kids at grade level had similar scores to DS though, and so it was still not enough. We moved to a FT GT program, which has been great. But if we had stayed in the local school, where clustering started in 3rd, we probably would have given it a tru before another skip. The one skip was necessary though, and easier for the teacher. it's hard to differentiate so much. I do think clustering is the way to go if you don't have a FT GT program available.

New here and have to agree with a sentiment from an earlier poster. IF...our education system had more appropriate and advanced programs available for GT students, the issue of to skip or not to skip would be virtually eliminated. Our son was in a GT program and, in all honesty, it was more about adding busy work to keep him occupied than it was about differentiation. GT students learn differently, respond differently, and see choices differently. We need our education system to put at least as much emphasis on the GT students as they do on the LD students.

pa in SC

We actually have considered both skipping (in younger grades) and holding our daughter back a year (at the start of high school). We've elected to do neither. The first was academically motivated, the latter related to emotional/maturity level.

The first choice was made because there just seemed no point: we could skip her, but then in a year or two she'd be both bored again plus younger than her peers. The latter was considered because she's already young for her age; we came to the conclusion it wouldn't serve much purpose other than to send the message to classmates that...well, she needed held back.

Overall, though, our decision to leave her with agemates was driven entirely by social/emotional considerations. "Education" and "school" are not synonymous in this house; school exists almost entirely for purposes of social interaction (not to be confused with socializing). For purposes of actual education, it's merely one option among many.