Has anyone out there gotten the go-ahead or recommendation for their child to do a full grade acceleration, but opted NOT to accelerate? If so, I'd be interested to hear your reasons why... and also if it was the right decision in retrospect.

Thanks
Ultralight Hiker

As I've mentioned in other places, my school proposed to accelerate me by a full year more than once, and my mom turned it down each time. Her reasons:

- I was already the youngest in my class (birthday literally the day before school started).
- I was one of the smallest in the class.
- Family history of boys blooming late.
- And most importantly, I was a boy.

Basically, it was lack of dating opportunities later, and dealing with bullies throughout.

Our (neighborhood public) school put full grade acceleration on the table for our dd at some point, and we passed it up. Reasons:

- being a twin complicates the decision. Skip only one? Skip both?
- maturity level was not advanced
- one year grade acceleration wouldn't have solved the academic mismatch problem
- more time before college to explore other interests
- more time for us parents to spend with kiddos before they go off to college

Back in the day, I went to an uber-elite private college. I knew a number of 14/15/16 year olds as class/dormmates there, and felt their experiences were not optimal. The kids I knew who were closer to the average age of their classmates but had a head start on the curriculum seemed to fare better on average.

I turned one down myself during middle school I wanted to be with my friends and didn't want to feel weird. I turned down going to Jr. College early in HS after we moved to a school with fewer options because I wanted to meet kids in the town where I lived and do band. My mom let me turn these things down. My last two years of high school at the new school were a joke, mostly independent study that was very haphazard and had me doing book reports or working as a tutor. Now, I sort of wish she would have pushed me. First couple years of college would have been not so shocking and maybe I would have learned to study instead of flying by the seat of my pants.

DD11 started early K at a private school at their recommendation, when we switched to public we put her back with agemates because she is little. We gave her no choice, she didn't know we had one. DH thought she was just a little bright despite recommendations from the private school and others. We could have entered her above grade with no questions in fact the school was confused as to why we didn't. I regret it somewhat as she was re-accelerated in Math and probably would have been fine either way. We probably made it more difficult on the school. She is very social and likes her friends but I don't see much challenge even in the accelerated math (except to check her work which is good as well). She will be in a good place in MS next year because we have an awesome program. Elementary school was very slow paced.

DD7 started early K at a private school. We kept her there a year longer and my intention right now is to keep her ahead. It's also what she wants at this point so at least we agree. After my experiences and watching DD11 blossom in the faster paced math class this year, I've done an about face . (I know that's not what you asked JMHO)...

I was in a mixed 2nd & 3rd grade class when the team decided not to grade skip me back in the 1970s. I suspect that my small size and poor motor coordination were factors in that decision. For years, I had it stuck in my head that they did not skip me because I could not catch a ball. I still can't. I have structured my life in such a way to avoid projectiles of any kind!

As a result, I got through school with abysmal work habits and almost no social life. My social life blossomed--and my GPA tanked--when I was in college, where I envied the kid who got to go at the age of 15. He dated several of our classmates--he's been married to one of them for about 20 years--and went on to get a PhD from Yale about the time most of his agemates were graduating from college.

The reality is, I chose not to accelerate my middle DD because of all the "brain washing" my retired educator mother did when she chose not to accelerate me.

I regret my decision not to accelerate her almost daily. Teachers in K and 2nd recommended acceleration, and we did not because she was one of the youngest in the class already, and (I hate to admit) based on the feelings of our older DD who has higher verbal scores, is 2E, and not a good fit for acceleration. We now know middle DD would have done well with acceleration since she was in 3/4 combination in 3rd and 4/5 combination in 4th doing the upper grade's work both years. In 5th, the school system refused to even discuss acceleration to 6th.

When I was a second grader, I was subject-accelerated in math. For the next year, the school suggested I skip third. My parents let me choose, and I turned down the skip entirely because 3rd was the year you learned cursive. (It's not clear to me whether anyone asked me why I didn't want to skip; they didn't offer to hothouse cursive over the summer as a solution to my objection, in any case.)

IMHO, it was a bad decision. I never had any challenging work until I got to high school, and got involved with competitive extracurriculars. And when I got to college, I intentionally avoided classes where I'd have to struggle to understand the material.

I sometimes doubt our decision to skip DD8, but based entirely on anxiety about problems that might arise later on. For where she is right now, it was clearly, clearly the right choice.

The Iowa Acceleration scales recommends acceleration for our DS6.
Right now we are leaning against it.

DS6 is the youngest in his class, quite well adjusted, 2 years accelerated in math and in a decent 'pull out' group for reading.

I guess we are swayed by the argument that "if he's not miserable, don't mess with it". Perhaps this is short-sighted.

Depending on how you're school is set up, you may want to think ahead about schedule challenges with subject acceleration. With DD11, this proved to be the biggest challenge. With her personality, she really likes to be part of the class vs independent study. The school recognized this more than I did and found a way. When the classes aren't available in the building (ie elementary vs MS), all concerned may need to think out of the box. With a 2 yr acceleration it will be an issue for longer. We are counting the days until MS when they will offer classes through Geometry at the same building!

Accelerating or not is a really tough question. On the one hand, skipping one or more grades can help meet a HG+ student's academic needs. Two skips have been wonderful in that regard for my eldest. He would be going nuts in 6th grade.

But there's also reality of him being a lot younger than everyone else (IMO, one grade skip doesn't necessarily create this problem, but two or more does). My eldest turned 12 not long ago and is in a class of 14-year-olds who are very different from him physically and emotionally. He's athletic and can basically keep up in PE, but it's still a real issue, anyway. The other kids have been maturing for while in a way that's just starting with him. This is important, and he's even commented on it. We won't encourage him to start college at 16. He can study abroad for a year or something, and is currently liking that idea.

I think that these factors need to be considered before doing a second skip. Things change after elementary school. Age 8 with a class of kids aged 10 or 11 is very different from age 12 with kids aged 14 or 15.

My daughter skipped K and is in 3rd grade. She also has a birthday the day before her school starts (it's actually after most schools around here start). So she's solidly 7 and her friends are turning 9. We probably won't look at a second skip for her, even though she could easily handle it academically.

That said, she would definitely have been unhappy without one skip. She was very enthusiastic about the idea when it happened and is still happy about it. So this is a sign, to me, that it was a good decision. Right now, she's happy with her friends and is in a school that groups by ability. The curriculum also isn't as superficial as the one at our local public schools, which helps.

Skipping or not is a really tough decision, and the optimal outcomes often apply only to parts of a skip. My eldest was happy until he had to change schools when his last one moved out of commuting range and changed its focus. But it was a small school aimed at gifted kids, so he fit in better there than he does at the current school. Now he's unhappy because 1) he's not learning much and 2) the kids are so different from him.

I think our education system is basically lousy for gifted kids. That's the real problem. We're all just trying to cope with it as best we can.

Aiden was offered an immediate skip to Grade 1 now (after 4 months of the school year here). We turned it down for the following reasons:

1. Right now, he has zero trust in the school's ability to interest him with challenging work.
2. Once he adjusts to the change from K to Grade 1, the work would still not be challenging really aside from a few gaps
3. Emotionally right now due to 1 and 2 above he is a total mess and requires fewer expectations.

Our solution was home school: we are currently de-schooling and will continue to do so until he shows solidly that he is ready to do things of his own volition with enthusiasm again. Then we will most likely un-school until he actively requests (with fervent enthusiasm) formal courses and tutoring.

The school have agreed in principal that he can come back at any time and that they will then test to see which grade he should be in, but I honestly do not think that he will ever return to formal schooling before high school (grade 8 here)

My parents declined an offer for me to skip K because I already had friends in my class. I did not enjoy K but that had more to do with my teacher being a mean old lady who taught K for over thirty years and probably never once smiled at a child. I don't think I really learned much academically. I just learned to deal with the routines and boredom of being in school. I am still friends with the girls my parents wanted me to stick with. We now laugh about how horrible our teacher was. For example, she told us before Christmas break that our parents were lying and there really wasn't a Santa. There was also a now infamous class room incident where I was falsely accused and punished (spanking with paddle and no recess). The teacher wouldn't even listen to my side. I remember thinking it was so unfair! Anyway, my friends now joke that she made me what I am today. I am a criminal defense attorney.
So I guess even if you choose Not to accelerate and it goes horribly wrong, your kid might still learn some valuable lessons.

My parents chose not to accelerate me a grade in elementary school. I understand their reasons as best as I've managed to decipher them, but having lived through it, have to disagree with the decision.

1. I was young for my grade, second youngest in my class in fact.

I was already used to being younger than my other classmates. No one can predict when puberty will hit, girls vary give or take from 8-14.

2. I wasn't particularly physically adept.

I'm still clumsy, growing up hasn't changed that.

3. I was socially awkward.

Once again, growing up hasn't changed that. However I feel that being in situation where I was more engaged would have helped. I also got along with older children and with teachers better than I did with age peers.

Based on my experience we chose to accelerate Wolf and he is thriving.

However, to balance that out, I have a male acquaintance who was grade skipped and is vehemently against the practice because of it.

The gifted support teacher at our elem school has told us he'd support a full-grade skip for our oldest DS, who is MG, on the older end of his grade, and physically huge (5'6" at 10 yo). We aren't interested at the moment. Although he could be doing harder work, he's generally doing fine as we live in a high-achieving school district (more than 10% of class in gifted support, based solely on 98%+ IQ scores) and teachers are generally good about enrichment.

Honestly, the main reason we aren't interested is that we each have several friends who were grade-skipped as kids and each one of them says they wish they hadn't been. Sure, that was 20+ years ago, but it still resonates with me. And frankly, DS is MG, not PG, in which case the discussion could be totally different. I don't know if we're doing him a disservice, but it's what seems right at the moment.

MurphysMom, Those seem like very reasonable reasons to me. If you have about 10% of your class as peers, you should be in good enough company that school can be made to work well enough.

In the instance of our dd who we accelerated, I think that the GT coordinator who proposed it was right: it would have been very, very hard to come close to meeting her needs w/out the skip. I may be in the minority, but I consider a major intervention like a grade skip when other options aren't close to good enough. I.e. -- it isn't my first resort.

Re jack's mom's comment above, my grade skipped kiddo is not depressed and it was a good choice for her. We've had a tough year with a high school that has maybe five hours of homework/night and a poor kid who got stuck with some of the least liked teachers in the school in multiple subjects, but I don't expect that she would have loved this year anymore had she been a young 14 y/o rather than a young 13 y/o.

The three years prior were very good and, if next year turns out to be another one where quantity is the focus over quality, we're going to come up with something different. On the table include considerations that would essentially be more acceleration such as homeschooling with courses taken at college or an early entrance college program. We're trying to get past busy work and on to substance.

With DS-now-8 we've never got as formal as being "offered" a skip, but it's been made clear to us that this is a possible, even an expected on their side, option, and we've jointly discussed pros and cons a number of times. We haven't done it yet because (roughly in order of how big a part they play in the decision, which is more about the extent to which I'm convinced they're true than the extent to which I think they're important):

- in DS's strength areas a skip, or even two, wouldn't have solved the problem of his needing more challenge; and in all areas, I see the issue as more about pace than level, so I'm not convinced it would help all that much with anything

- and he was, and is, in fact getting good differentiation, and being challenged much of the time

- he has difficulty with handwriting (and typing) and would struggle to produce the output required after a skip

- he's pretty happy where he is, and we don't see a skip as likely to make him happier (in as far as he isn't, I think it's because he feels different, and I don't think he'd feel less different if he skipped, he'd just be differently different)

- his executive function etc. are age appropriate (sometimes I'd add, "at best", although he's doing better lately)

- we are considering sending him to a boarding school at 13; this may well not end up being the best option anyway, but a skip would rule it out, as I definitely don't see sending him to board while much younger than his fellow boarders. We'd rather keep that option open

- he quite enjoys sport, but he is small and not very skillful - tolerable where he is, but would be a problem if he skipped.

All that said, I don't rule out that we might do it in future, and I certainly wouldn't make a blanket recommendation against skipping - I think in many cases it's the right decision.

DD is not a good candidate due to socioemotional issues. I've never seriously considerd it, though if I HSed her I would certainly have her working 2-4 grades above level.

DS is only 4, and has not entered the system yet. I suspect he would be a very good candidate on the IAS. Actually, I can't think of a single reason why not. He is tall, fairly athletic, pretty even-keeled, and has great handwriting for a boy who just turned 4. The academcis are 100% there. However, I am theoretically pro-skip all the way, and yet find myself feeling anti-skip for my own kid. I guess all that anti-skip brainwashing dies hard.

Uh, wow. I am the OP in that thread, and my child IS NOT accelerated. Furthermore, I don't think anyone in the thread indicated that their child was accelerated. Actually, wait, someone did and then said that the problem got much better after a SECOND grade skip. In any case, correlation does not imply causation, folks. I'm angry on their behalf and on mine that you would come into that thread, lurk, and come in here to post about how they have screwed up their kids by accelerating.

I could and should have been skipped, even in a high performing district. My brother should have as well (esp. him--he had a September birthday and was old for grade). I did not learn anything in language arts/reading until AP English my senior year of high school, and even at the time, even though math was not my strength, I also remember wanting to bang my head on the desk until I finally got to take algebra in 8th grade. (of course I didn't because I was a teacher-pleasing, well behaved girl).

We are currently requesting my dd11 to skip 6th grade. After seeing her melt-down yesterday after not understanding her math homework immediately, (after she calmed down and with some explanation she was able to do it in less than 10 minutes) I am more convinced than ever that the kid needs to be challenged appropriately, and that if she isn't skipped that won't happen. I want her to learn how to work BEFORE she gets to college.

Guess what--middle schoolers (or younger)--esp. HG/PG ones, may face some depression, skip or no skip. (See James Webb's stuff on this) Every kid is different, and I would guess that the parents here are putting a tremendous amount of thought and effort into these choices, and it seems clear to me, anecdotally that the majority of kids here who have skipped have had positive experiences.

We've been through this before here on this board but then it was round and round over radical acceleration or early college families.  Someone said that even in the gifted forums the early college families had to have a private forum because of all the Judgy McJudgersons.  
There's a bunch of paperwork by people who study this stuff who say acceleration does more good than harm than was previously assumed (I'm thinking a nation decieved and the Iowa acceleration scale- somebody thinks acceleration should not be dismissed out of hand).  


OP, I don't know if you just want stories or if you welcome thoughts and opinions but choosing to skip or not skip totally depends on your lifestyle.  It's great to hear other peoples real life experience but don't forget to find a copy of the Iowa acceleration scale which uses research to help you decide if it is likely to work as well for you.

Eta: when I said lifestyle I was thinking like rural people might skip grades where urban people might shop around from school to school. Also if your kid's involved in age based stuff like church and scouts and the same core group of friends is there that's in school... And that kind of thing. I'm not actually sure what's in the IAS besides that the kid gets veto power if the adults decide on a skip, and it takes into account siblings ages/grades.

Ok for the OP had to come back now and give some reasons our family considered not requesting acceleration. 1) tennis--it is pretty clear that we may have eliminated her chance to play varsity tennis in high school. But athletics is not our top priority, and she can still play in the city league, etc. and be challenged in tennis and have a sport she can play her whole life. She won't be in the 99%. It is highly unlikely she will be valedictorian. However--if she continues to be passionate about violin, it puts her closer to focusing on music. And most importantly--if she is to develop the skills that we all need to be successful in life, she is going to have to get some practice at actually struggling with her academics. (the only area I really anticipate this being an issue, even with a skip, is math--and I hope she will learn it is OK to get answers wrong, and to have to work to understand something.) We are confident that for our daughter that a skip is appropriate, and not skipping would be detrimental to her development.

I was offered a two year skip that was turned down for me. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, sports were fabulous and social life was fabulous and school was easy so I had tons of time to play and dream and play sports and do high level ECs. On the other hand, school was easy. Way too easy. I got used to doing well with no effort. My current work depends a great deal on my brain and knowledge, but it also depends a lot on my ability to deal with other people. I think I'd know more and would have worked harder academically with the skip, but I think my social skills were enhanced by school experiences with a variety of age peers. I suspect I am better at interacting the diverse backgrounds I encounter than I would have been if I'd skipped and not learned to fit in socially with kids who knew a lot less than I did.

For my children, I have turned down skips for several reasons. First, one or two or three would not help but would make the good parts of school potentially more difficult. The skipped kids that I knew in school, particularly the boys, didn't date much. Second, the skips weren't offered at the right times where it made sense and would have helped. Subject acceleration worked better because of logistics and school types and grades at a school. And finally, my kids have areas of interest with competitive aspirations. They enjoy high level competition and while they can have excellent results at a state or regional competition at grade level, it's much harder a few years up. If you look at mathcounts nationals, there are very few 6th graders compared to 7th and 8th graders. While a 6 yo is going to the national spelling bee this year, most of the winners are close to the maximum age and grade. While not impossible for a 15 yo to win national science fairs and get admitted to great universities, it seems likely that the same kid would have a better chance a few years later.

There are so many ways to do this. Skips can often be undone. Kids who don't want skips at one age can change their minds later and radically accelerate. Every child is unique and sometimes a skip can be a social blessing rather than a hindrance. Some very social kids are so social that they can blend with older kids seamlessly. I'm not convinced that the research supports one way over another. I try to focus on teaching resiliency and optimism and commitment to hard work so my kids can thrive in less than ideal circumstances and shine when opportunity knocks.

I had a grade skip when I went to school, and my wife had two grade skips. Neither of us thought there was a benefit.

So for our kids, we didn't attempt a skip, despite them being some of the older kids in their class. Socially it has worked out very well, as they are both well adjusted and popular.

Academically, it helps that our local school system is one of the best in Massachusetts, so my MG/HG DD13 still has academic peers. My DS10's skills are higher, so he doesn't have academic peers. Realistically, a two year skip would be meaningless for him, and anything beyond that I think would just be unreasonable.

I'll second that. If DD had some of the options available that I see people here talking about - in-class differentiation, multi-subject subject acceleration, ability-grouped classes working ahead of level, extracurricular academic pursuits, etc. - a skip wouldn't have been the least-worst option.

In our area, DD is one of the top kids in her grade, despite the skip. My sister lives elsewhere, and her DD (whom I suspect of being smarter than mine - she's certainly more obviously advanced) is not the most advanced kid in her classroom, even without a skip. All else being equal, I'd prefer my kid to be unskipped in a classroom more like her cousin's, but moving across the country would have been a worse choice for our family than skipping DD, and leaving her in the lower grade would have been worse than skipping her, too.

Our MG daughter, now 22 and in grad school, was offered a grade skip from second to fourth grade. We struggled for months with the decision, but in the end, decided against the skip. She is a late June birthday...her age played a role. We've discussed it through the years, and she still maintains that she's happy we decided against the skip. We supplemented at home and through extra-curricular activities.

Our HG son, now 9, was offered a grade skip from second to fourth (funny...we didn't request either skip.) Again, we struggled, but ultimately decided to forgo the skip, in spite of the fact he is a late November birthday, so not as young. He currently attends Montessori and they have been able to let him work at his own pace (largely) within his age peer group. In his case, I'm not sure where he would find true academic peers...certainly not one grade ahead. And, looking ahead, we really don't want him to head off to college early. He starts a traditional style private prep school in the fall. If they can't accomodate his academic needs, we may, once again, consider the skip.

For the record, while I didn't do a grade skip myself, I'm a late October birthday and started school at age 4...college at age 17. I knew no other way, so I was always comfortable with it. Tough decision...and one for each family to make for themselves, for sure. Good luck!

Thanks for all the insights! We had a productive meeting with DS6's "gifted team" at school (including the principal).

The team approved an acceleration if we want to go that route, but also said that they are implementing 'cluster grouping' starting next year and that this might meet DS's needs.

Has anyone had experiences experiences with cluster grouping? Can it be a good substitute for grade acceleration? Are there are particular questions I should ask about it?

Ul.H.

Our school has cluster grouping, and it can be good. It really depends what sort of level the kids in the cluster are working at compared to each other IYKWIM. There can be even more difference within the cluster than there is between the class and the cluster.

Does your school do MAP testing or some similar test that lets your kid show above grade level knowledge? If yes, this will be a good tool in deciding about whether clustering will be enough wthout a skip. If there are other kids within your child's grade level who are performing at or near her level, then clustering may work. But if her scores are closer to the next grade level's cluster kids, you'll know that she'll likely do better with both clustering and the skip.

In our experience with DS8, he started 2nd after a grade skip with no clustering (because the tea her needed to get to know the kids), and the skip itself was nowhere near enough. Then a few months later, he was grouped with another kid for math, and that was a bit better, and he also had a few pullout groups with other kids from other classes, so not true clustering but more like differentiation with pullouts with the kids he would have been clustered with if clustering started at 2nd. None of those kids at grade level had similar scores to DS though, and so it was still not enough. We moved to a FT GT program, which has been great. But if we had stayed in the local school, where clustering started in 3rd, we probably would have given it a tru before another skip. The one skip was necessary though, and easier for the teacher. it's hard to differentiate so much. I do think clustering is the way to go if you don't have a FT GT program available.

New here and have to agree with a sentiment from an earlier poster. IF...our education system had more appropriate and advanced programs available for GT students, the issue of to skip or not to skip would be virtually eliminated. Our son was in a GT program and, in all honesty, it was more about adding busy work to keep him occupied than it was about differentiation. GT students learn differently, respond differently, and see choices differently. We need our education system to put at least as much emphasis on the GT students as they do on the LD students.

pa in SC

We actually have considered both skipping (in younger grades) and holding our daughter back a year (at the start of high school). We've elected to do neither. The first was academically motivated, the latter related to emotional/maturity level.

The first choice was made because there just seemed no point: we could skip her, but then in a year or two she'd be both bored again plus younger than her peers. The latter was considered because she's already young for her age; we came to the conclusion it wouldn't serve much purpose other than to send the message to classmates that...well, she needed held back.

Overall, though, our decision to leave her with agemates was driven entirely by social/emotional considerations. "Education" and "school" are not synonymous in this house; school exists almost entirely for purposes of social interaction (not to be confused with socializing). For purposes of actual education, it's merely one option among many.

Here's a thought. If your exceptionally gifted child is not challenged in, for example, the second grade, he or she will not be challenged in the 3rd or 4th grade. The key is not just moving through the curriculum, but being challenged at your level of intellectual ability. For that reason, we never skipped our exceptional child, but hired an outside tutor who could challenge him at his level in mathematics--his particular area of interest and ability. The school allowed him to treat math as an independent study. Now that he is in high school, we feel he could do well in college, but he wants to play lacrosse, be in the band, and hang with his friends. We are still using a tutor, and he will likely graduate from high school with a good chunk of the credits necessary for a college math major. Fortunately, we could afford a quality tutor. Unfortunately, this may not be feasible for all.

But the bottom line is intellectual challenge, which may not be supplied simply by a grade skip.

Thanks for all your thoughts everyone.

We have decided not to grade accelerate DS6 for the time being.

Though we have doubts about the rigor of the 'cluster', I think it will get him in the right ballpark for things like writing.

He is being accelerated 2 years in math regardless.

I have a feeling we are just postponing the inevitable, but I guess we have to go one year at a time.

Ul.H.

Congratulations on making a decision! I remember how hard it was to make that decision. We've always taken a year-by-year approach, hoping for more than one year of a successful placement but knowing that there are always options. We all do the best we can for our kids, and each parent knows his kid best.

Hi everyone... I'm the OP on this thread. 9 months later I thought I'd give an update.

I think not grade accelerating was the right choice. The math
acceleration has addressed the most glaring need, and the G&T teacher actually spends an hour with DS7 every day (half of that 1 on 1!) working on language arts. He seems to like the specials too.

The 'gifted cluster' has been a total bust, DS learns very little
while he is with his regular class. Fortunately this adds up to only about 1/3 of the school day.

DS7 says that he likes being with kids his own age and does not want to skip 3rd grade next year.

In short, not skipping has worked out because the school is allowing DS to be a 'closet 4th grader' while also spending time with age peers. It's not perfect, and who knows how long it will last. Still, we are lucky that the school has been so flexible.

Ul.H.

That's a great solution for your DS. It's wonderful that you didn't need a skip to get him more appropriate work.

As you noted, you can always revisit this need later when/as things change.

The situation is reasonably good, but there's still plenty I could complain about! So I guess I will...

1. Everyday Math (need I say more?)
2. Homework passes every time the Ravens win a football game (huh?)
3. 27 kids in the class
4. School academic standards are not horrible but still not what they should be.
5. On the few occasions that DS sees something that is honest-to-goodness challenging he freaks out rather than sinking his teeth into it. This is what has me most worried.

Not sure grade acceleration would help with these issues.

Ul.H.

We have chosen not to accelerate but I agree with you:
1) We have Everyday Math too. Blah!
2) 35 kids in a class in 4th-6th!
3) Our grade school just enetered Program Project Improvement with NCLBI.
4) Our school board just decided to do a random lottery to let in kids for our self-contained G/T program, for everyone who gets above the 96% on the OLSAT, WISC, etc. Instead of ranking them! Grrr...

I know someone who didn't accelerate he child when she really wanted to because it would have meant going against the principal's very strongly stated position.

I have opted not to accelerate my daughter at this point in time because the school has been great about providing subject acceleration and enrichment. My DD is accelerated two years in math and goes to a TAG pull out reading group. Right now, this works. She has lots of friends in her class, so I would prefer to keep her with her same age friends, if possible. If, when we get to middle school, the opportunities evaporate, then we will revisit grade skips. That said, she is my youngest and I am in no rush to push her out the door to go to college.

1. DD is emotionally and socially immature and has some emotional problems
2. She is accommodated pretty well at a gifted magnet school

DS is a far better candidate for skipping. We would probably pursue it and still might, but are hopeful that he will be okay with eventual admission to the same magnet. My sole concern abut skipping otherwise is that his writing is age-appropriate and his spelling is probably only about a year ahead; it is his weakest area.

I think that it is great that your school is being so flexible. Have you talked at all about what happens when your son tops out the curriculum offered at your school? If he is two years advanced, this will come up in the next year or two. We ran into problems with this with DD12. When she had a huge math spurt in 6th grade (last year of elementary for us), the school did not have in-building capacity beyond seventh grade math. You might want to get people thinking about this sooner rather than later.