Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What should we do?

I have a preschooler who had a rough time in preschool. He acted like he couldn't read, said things like "my friends like me funny, not smart" and got in trouble a lot.

This resulted in us pulling him out and getting two evaluations last week. First he saw an OT who says he has retained infantile reflexes and recommended weekly therapy.
Second was an assessment from an educational psychologist that included an achievement type test (Bracken) and the WPPSI. He scored 99.9 on both but I have not received a full report with a score breakdown yet. The doctor mentioned that my son's WPPSI was the highest he'd ever tested and that the scores will just be a baseline. So I am guessing there are some ceilings issues.

My son is four and has a Sept. birthday. The cut off here is Aug. 31 so early K really isn't that early. I am starting to lean towards just maybe keeping him home and making a pitch for early 1st next year. It would give him more time to work on the therapy issues and the cool thing about the school we have picked out is that first through sixth grade is all together and only has about 15 kids.

I'd love to hear from parents who have had to make these decisions before.
All this is pretty new to me and I am still having trouble coming to grips with the idea that the "standard" educational progression might not work for him.

Welcome!
The school you have picked sounds cool. I like the idea of letting him stay home next year - I think he's aware enough that the agemates at his preschool aren't really peers. I had a kid who got into trouble a lot in preschool, but no one even thought of getting him assessed, because we all believed that being 'smart' couldn't possibly be a reason for a kid to be clowning around.

It can. It would be nice if you could find him some kids his own age who are really peers for him to play with from time to time. You may have some cousins who have similar kids, or look into your state gifted association. Some local families will be homeschooling and just assuming that their kids are advanced because of the homeschooling. You can also try local kid's chess clubs, or any activity where you can meet families who have younger sibling that might be a match for yours. Ask the educational psychologist how local gifted families find each other.

Keep reading and posting. Welcome!
Grinity

Thanks for the welcome. I am sorry you also had a troublesome preschooler but I am honestly glad to hear I am not alone. I think the knee jerk reaction is "well if he is so darn smart, he should be able to figure out how to act like everyone else!". I wish I had pulled him out earlier. Looking back I feel so stupid having said things like "if you don't have a good circle time today, you don't get to play with your anatomy model". I should have known it just wasn't working earlier.
One fear I have about keeping him at home longer is just that I am pretty bad about being "educationally organized" I get restless at home so we tend to go places like the zoo, kids museum, library, etc. but we are way more likely to be watching looney toons or sponge bob than doing anything educational at home. I checked out those on-line programs through the universities. Something like that might work for us until he starts school.
As for finding peers, I am so happy for the suggestions. He really needs playmates. I saw that our local MENSA chapter has a kids' group. Any experience with that organization? What about SENG? We have a parent group facilitator in my area for them.
I could seriously ask a thousand questions. Since he took the test on Thursday and I got that snippet of information, I have been reading so much information. Is there a good book out there on this stuff?

Hi KJP
We had a bad fit at our Pre-k. We also wished we pulled him out early but we had nowhere else to send him once we realized what was going on. Thankfully a wonderful camp experience helped mend the social issues. DS just turned 6 is now in K at a gifted school and the difference behaviorally and socially is amazing. We cant skip where we are so we had to make this work or seek private. My DS didn't act out but turned inward because the kids didn't get him. Now in the gifted school, he is working on things like handwriting and spelling, stuff we never paid attention to. And the math is more organized than we were presenting it. But has he learned anything really new, no, is he happy, now yes. How long that will last we just don't know, he has already informed us that the science they get is "predictable" meaning he knows everything and wants something he doesn't know. So we are feeding his knowledge as fast as he wants and as much as he wants in his preferred areas and letting school fill in the things he wouldn't necessarily focus on. But we would not leave him there if the social aspect was not fitting so well. He is not strange here, we were just talking the other day about this, how everyone in class has something they liked and are good at, and he can appreciate an interest in math or art, while others appreciate him for science. The change has been wonderful.

So I would investigate your area for gifted schools - even if your kid is a DYS level outlier, the gifted schools with testing cut offs will get him into a room with kids who are more in his ballpark or at least more open to him. The kids in DS's class are a wide range of reading and math skills, yet they all in some way seem to be sponges for knowledge and information. If those options aren't available, well then there are other things to think about.

For the short term, check out the museums and local universities often they will have programs in science or other things which attract bright kids. DS did one at the Y and had a great time with a kid 4 years older. Summer camps too in things like robotics or Legos, although age restrictions can be a pain there.

There is a lot of good advice here and on hoagies for sorting this stuff out. And terrific resources - like the ultimate book list.

Welcome!

DeHe

Thanks everyone. I just reread my second post on this thread and realized I made it seem like we just watch TV all the time at home. That is what I get for trying to calm a baby and type one handed! What I meant is that I have not done classroom type worksheets or things like that. He just has never been interested in learning that way from me.
My local public school option includes a gifted pull out enrichment starting at third grade. The program seems poorly funded because it has been on the chopping block a few times when budget issues are covered in our local paper. The closest gifted school is almost an hour away. Not really possible for us.
The private school we have settled on has some drawbacks. First, it is where he went to preK and he has a bad rep. there. After the first few months he quit doing any academics there. It is a Montessori so he would spend his time washing things, arranging flowers, doing little crafts and stuff like that. It was only when they would touch on a science concept that he "couldn't help himself" and would really wow them. Even though they have accepted him for early K this year, I am worried they might be looking for him to fail. I would have the same concern for early 1 next year.

15 kids per class, or in the whole school? Our experience with a very small school was not all that positive. Depends on the kid and the school, obviously.

He is 4 years old. He doesn't need worksheets unless he likes them or it buys you some sanity time.

How many hours a day is the early K program? Have you been in there and spent time observing the classroom? It's worth a quiet visit to see what is offered there.

One one hand, when the children are younger, they haven't had time to learn so much that the school experience is 100% worthless. On the other hand, when the children are younger, they are natually less emotionally mature and less able to deal with a bad fit environment.

Think about the shape of the bell curve. Over on the tail, most of the bulk of the kids at any cutoff, are quite close to the cutoff. You child is likely 'far' from the cutoff, which means that in a group of gifted children of his own age, he might still be 'quite different.' So books aimed at the parents of gifted children kids might be helpful or misleading - see?

Post your questions here and we'll try our best. 1000 isn't an unusual number. Go to the library and see what books they have on gifted children and get started on reading them before you go buying stuff. If you can't wait, I like '5 levels of Giftedness' by Deb Ruf. The stories will convinse you that you aren't the only person on earth facing this particular challenge.

Smiles,
Grinity

Your situation is almost exactly the same as ours. Our DS4 has an Oct. birthday and had similar experiences with pre-k attempts. We decided against an early K start due to maturity issues and because we are aiming to attend a small K-3 school (24 students) that groups by ability (not age)....and they will accelerate kids beyond grade 3 material as needed.

We have gotten into a good groove with swim lessons, piano lessons, and a pottery class that was designed for older kids & adults.

If your son is into games like ours, we have found this to be a great opportunity for socialization. We found a math-game group that meets on occasion (huge success). He is now looking for kids on his own to play games with (not much luck with this yet).

Thanks for the information everyone.
The school has around a hundred kids. Two classes of preschool, one K and one 1-6. The preschool and K can be full or half day. I am thinking a half day (less than 3 hours) would be best for him.
I also just learned there is a science, tech., engineering and math magnet in a neighboring school district with mixed age classes that we might try for next year. Apparently, if there is room, out of district kids can go.
He goes to a mixed age art class that he'll be able to continue once school starts. His opinion of the class changes with the subject. With the Chinese Dragon, he tried hard to make it look good BUT with the portrait of a Japanese woman, he decided she should actually be a zombie lady with flaming red eyes, green skin and brains coming out of her mouth. Not exactly what the teacher had in mind.