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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 530
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People always try to confort me about my "worries" about my older son. Sometimes I daydream about telling them the *rest* of the story... It's funny how people jump in to comfort you for your kids' being slow at something everytime you say "oh, I'm not sure that's the right book/project/whatever for DS right now..." as he stares blankly at them for a second, and then leaves. DH has a great story about a substitue teacher and his math accelleration. Apparently the whole class "went allong" with the sub's assumption that he was doing remedial math... until he handed in both his (significantly) accellerated worksheet, and the regular class work before any one else in the class finished the regular work. Then he went back to his desk and took out a rubix cube... I'll let your immaginations fill that in  When I let DS "be a kid" he gets bored and starts tantrumming... but he's only 3, so I guess that's what they *want* him to do
DS1: Hon, you already finished your homework
DS2: Quit it with the protesting already!
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Joined: Jan 2008
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I am also surprised by the comments, as I had a great experience at a Montessori preschool and now looking at one for middle school because DD will be able to grade skip.
Though they may want him to work on the writing, which means working on the alphabet. But writing is necessary. Sometimes it is hard to do that. But so what, these things happen.
Good luck and you can always brag here.
Ren
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Joined: Sep 2011
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I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.
I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids." You are indirectly doing what you dislike others doing, making accusations of "hothousing" based on little evidence. I have used workbooks (Singapore Math) and training programs (EPGY) with my children. They like to work on them a few times a week, and they still have plenty of time to go to the playground and play at home with each other. I sincerely apologize if what I posted offended you. My intent was not to make any kind of commentary on hothousing. I don't think using workbooks IS hothousing, so I'm not quite understanding the connection being made here. My point was, I feel like when people say I am not letting my kids be kids they are implying that I must have them locked-down 24-7 doing academic stuff, that I never let them play or do what THEY want to do. My point was that I rarely even DO academic stuff with them - for example I don't use flashcards or workbooks. So I don't quite understand how my post might have been interpreted as accusing anyone of hothousing. But my mind was very self-centered when I wrote it, so I apologize for my carelessness in my word choices. My hope is to support all parents here, and I appreciate the support I get in return. I'm very sorry I made anyone feel bad with my post. That definitely wasn't my intent! I hope you can forgive me. You'd think with me being so sensitive, I'd be more sensitive to others in this regard!
Last edited by sweetpeas; 03/18/12 08:47 AM.
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Joined: Sep 2011
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This is special ed, not gifted, but this article on wrightslaw.com really opened my eyes about how schools operate. Frankly, it shocked me to the core. That was a very interesting article. In some ways, not surprising. School Psychologists work for the schools, afterall, and wouldn't be likely to remained employed for too long if they were always pointing out the shortcomings of the administration, curriculum, or teachers. So of COURSE any problems with a child MUST be either the parent's fault or something "wrong" with the child.  Very eye opening to see an actual study done on this. It seems like most schools want kids to fit into tiny little boxes. If they don't, something must be "wrong" (with the kid or with the parents). Thanks for sharing that link!
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...
My point is that nobody really knows what's right but everyone has an idea.
... So true. I would also add that most people feel strongly that their point-of-view is the correct one.
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Sometimes, the school "psychologist" is not a psychologist at all. S/he can be a degreed person who has been "approved by the District". In our case, it is a Social Worker.
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Joined: Nov 2011
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I'm coming a bit late to this conversation, but I wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I've heard similar comments with regard to DS 4 so many times, that I've started filling in the blanks even before people say anything: "We don't force him. Yes, we read to him and have lots of books, but he really did it himself."
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This is special ed, not gifted, but this article on wrightslaw.com really opened my eyes about how schools operate. Frankly, it shocked me to the core. whoa. That article makes you just stop in your tracks. geeze
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Joined: Feb 2010
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I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.
I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids." You are indirectly doing what you dislike others doing, making accusations of "hothousing" based on little evidence. I have used workbooks (Singapore Math) and training programs (EPGY) with my children. They like to work on them a few times a week, and they still have plenty of time to go to the playground and play at home with each other. I sincerely apologize if what I posted offended you. My intent was not to make any kind of commentary on hothousing. I don't think using workbooks IS hothousing, so I'm not quite understanding the connection being made here. My point was, I feel like when people say I am not letting my kids be kids they are implying that I must have them locked-down 24-7 doing academic stuff, that I never let them play or do what THEY want to do. My point was that I rarely even DO academic stuff with them - for example I don't use flashcards or workbooks. So I don't quite understand how my post might have been interpreted as accusing anyone of hothousing. But my mind was very self-centered when I wrote it, so I apologize for my carelessness in my word choices. My hope is to support all parents here, and I appreciate the support I get in return. I'm very sorry I made anyone feel bad with my post. That definitely wasn't my intent! I hope you can forgive me. You'd think with me being so sensitive, I'd be more sensitive to others in this regard! I'm not upset, it's just that one can do some structured academic work with young children and still think of them as kids.
"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." - George Orwell
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Joined: Oct 2011
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sweatpeas-
I think you should just enjoy the ride. How lucky all of us are who have great kids! I have a small family and have lost almost all of my relatives- so I really appreciate my husband and kids and value them very highly. Don't ever let anyone take away the joy you find in your kids. There are no guarantees in life; you must enjoy them now and not hide it!!! I also think it OK to ask others who care about you and your family to share in your joy.
Do try to also share in the joy that others find in their lives. I really admire some kids of my friends that have extremely high "EQ"s and share that I think that their kids are special too.
However, I will add that I too have received some of the same responses that you have. I decided to go ahead and keep sharing info on my kid's achievements anyway. I figure if they can't stand to hear about it, they will stay away from us. It bothered me at first. However, I had trouble refraining... So I guess I just continued to share and they grew tolerant and decided to accept that it is true that some people are gifted and this really can't be denied by hiding their accomplishments. Most of the family and friends have finally accepted my kids as they truly are- gifted individuals who might have a tremendous positive impact on the world some day. This! I'm not sure how to help anyone else be this way, but you just have to know, inside, that you are a great mom and you have amazing kids. I am not the least bit concerned about other peoples' opinion of me or my parenting abilities. Only my husband and I know what really goes on day-to-day in our family.
~amy
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