Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Middle school year

Thanks, aculady. I just got the results of her formal psychological evaluation & will be calling the school tomorrow to set up a meeting as the doctor recommends a 504 plan. She is considered a gifted student with learning disabilities; specifically, a Reading Disorder (dyslexia) with particular impairment in reading speed as well as a Disorder of Written Expression with impairment in writing speed. I think I am going to post the results in the testing forum to get some feedback, as well.
link to results

From a teacher's perspective, I've taught in a middle school 6-8 that is a separate entity, as well as one that was on the same campus as the elementary and high school and one that was 5-8, (Yes, I move a lot ) - I understand what the admin is saying about keeping the 6th graders separate from the 7th and 8th graders, and yes, it is partly so the parents don't freak out, but it is also because the differences between 6th graders and 8th graders is enormous!
This tends to be more visibly noticeable with the girls, since there is a large physical development difference between a 6th grade girl and an 8th grade girl (and yes, it is hormonal - oh boy, is it ever... ).

Most 6th grade girls are still nice to each other, and themselves, however, somewhere between 7th and 8th grade many of them go through the start of puberty and turn into mean, pushy, overbearing girls who will want to be your best friend one minute and then go behind your back the next to stab you in the back because you either looked at a boy they liked, or you got to get the newest fashion they wanted, or simply because they can. Most of the time the girls do this without being able to control themselves - it is their hugely unstable hormones to blame here. But it can be a big shock for a 6th grader to have to deal with girls like this on a large scale. Often times the 8th graders make it a point to bully the 6th graders because they are so young, developmentally that they seem like babies to the "older and more mature 8th graders".

For the boys the differences aren't usually so great, but their slower rate of maturity gets more noticeable as they go through middle school. While most girls are ready to have boyfriends, many boys are still looking for friends to play cards or computer games with. The boys have their issues happen in 9th grade, more often than in middle school.

How this plays out for gifties is dependent on their own personality, just as it is with an ND child. All kids have to go through puberty at sometime and some handle it with more grace than others - I have one niece (PG) who when through with very few dramas and is now finishing her junior year in high school still a happy teen, her sister (M/HG) has had a horrible time going through middle school and now at the end of 9th grade is still having problems with issues related to going through puberty and trying to figure out who she is. The older one saw what other kids were doing and consciously chose to not get involved in it. The younger one saw what was happening and got involved in it to see what it was like (a way to fit in) and is still pretty unhappy about the path she picked.

Sorry for being so long winded. We were discussing a similar issue at work today in relation to 9th graders and their changes within a school year.

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and experience. It was also nice to hear from the educator's perspective!

Since our DS10 has been going to 8th grade class, he's gotten some experience in dealing with older kids. They've been quite nice with him, and he's able to hold his own. There was no bullying whatsoever. Could it be because he's only there for an hour, and did not have to socialize with them during recess or P.E. (as he's surely the smallest one)?

On the other hand, he is on the naive side, even among his 5th grade friends. Of course, there are days when he starts showing some attitude!

We're also concerned with high school coming too soon. We haven't exactly been planning that far ahead!

He met with our Principal today to discuss the advantage / disadvantage of going to 6th or 7th grade. He told him that he was nervous about going to 7th grade. In fact, he told him that he did not want to skip! He will still go to a 6th grade class this Friday to shadow for a couple hours.

DH and I are not sure which way to go, either. Had the school not been willing to offer subjects acceleration or if the only way to get accommodation was by skipping, we would have jumped immediately! Fortunately, after a rough start, this year ends up to be a pretty good year. He got 2 subjects acceleration and was still able to stay with his friends. It was not exactly a perfect solution since sometimes there were scheduling conflicts which caused him to miss part of the science. Sometimes it also meant that he did not have as much time to finish his other 5th grade work.

Another concern we have about not skipping is because the 6th grade teachers had said that they would meet the kids at their level within 6th grade class. Even if a student is able to do algebra or geometry, he / she will get it in that class rather than going to 7th or 8th grade class. This is contrary to what our Principal had said, so we definitely will with him.

We will talk with our DS again after his shadowing on Friday. I'm sure we'll have a long discussion with our Principal and his 5th grade teacher. We will surely ask them about possibility of mid-year skip or even skipping 7th rather than 6th.

Dottie,

My DD5 and DD7 have plenty of drama at home (between them) and in their classroom (mostly the other kids, not them). Not looking forward to the teenage year! But then again, maybe they'll surprise us We can always hope ...

DS moved from Private to Public between 7th and 8th grade. At the time he was a single year accelerated, and has a summer birthday. We were so suprised that he had his best year ever socially, and it was 'pretty good' academically as well.

I asked him if the kids at school tended to be moody, and he made one of his best jokes ever:

"Moody? You bet! It's like they all have PMS every day of the month, and the girls are even worse!"

((wink))
Grinity

That sums it up perfectly! I will have to share that with my middle school colleagues tomorrow.

Pshaw,thanks!
DS wants to be a lawyer - all the best feedback he get from adults are about his ability to 'cut to the heart' of any matter.

Yesterday DS went to shadow. He actually got to visit all three 6th grade classes. When asked how it went, he said, "Great!" and went on that he wanted to go to one of the classes whose teacher offered a lot of flexibility and let students choose a project that they are most interested in. "So I don't have to do work that is boring me to death!"

Yesterday, his current teacher shared her own observation. She thinks that he would be better off not skipping. She believes that even in 6th grade, the school will accommodate to challenge him in his strong subjects (math and science). But most importantly, she observes that his current class has a lot more in common with him, in interest and they as a group are stronger academically). Socially, he is very comfortable with his current friends (of course!). She's afraid that he will lose the confidence if he skips and surrounded by new people. She taught the current 6th graders last year and so she knows these students really well.

Given this last information and knowing how reluctant he still is, maybe we really should just him stay in 6th grade, as long as he can continue to be accelerated in math and science? We'll meet with the Principal on Tuesday. If only there is a way to look into a crystal ball to see if this is the right decision... but I don't have one, and I only have this Board!

Hi Coco,
I�ve been lurking on this thread. I had the same decision to make last year. What to ask for and how much to ask for? I tend to agree with Dottie on the �good group.� My DS is just finishing 6th at the middle school. His grade is stacked. In kindergarten, it was clear this group had a lot of really bright kids. Approximately 30% of his grade scores in the 99%tile on the standard grade level testing. A good number of them are clearly gifted not just bright. I have always loved this for him. It keeps him humble. I think the impact has been very positive for him to be surrounded by other gifted kids. When he was very little I worried he would be the arrogant self- absorbed smart kid that couldn�t work with his peers. He has support and respect for and from his peers. He still is ahead of his peers academically, but he can have good conversations with them at the lunch table. He feels valued and respected by them. They tend to be amazingly supportive of one another�s achievements rather than petty and jealous. He works above grade level in all subjects. He is accelerated in Math and English. Math is 3 yrs. ahead and the teacher allows him to move at his own pace. The English/ Writing teacher has him working on 12th grade material. The Science teacher has had him test of out units all year and then gives him independent investigations. His Orchestra teacher will give promising students extra music to work on. He gets a lot of his academic needs met and has a decent group of peers.
If you can meet his needs and keep him with a strong peer group it will help so much when the hormones hit. My DS is turning 12 during 7th grade, and we live in a district where academic red-shirting is the norm. Many of his peers are turning 13 now or in the next few months. He is already 1+ years younger than most of his peers. He fits well, but does complain about being the smallest and the youngest. He has not been able to do all the activities at times because of his age. This year he won an essay contest held by a museum. The class was given a tour of the museum because he won. He was unable to go to all of the tour because the exhibits had age restrictions. He sometimes pays the price for his age. He wouldn�t want to be bored either but it certainly stinks for him at times. He logically understands that he is younger but still isn�t fun to be left out of activities.

It was the right decision for us. He is had his best year to date. Given the set up of our middle school, he is able to take many of his state required HS classes on site. He still has the grade level experiences with the academic challenges. His peers matter a lot right now and I�m grateful he has such a smart and driven group of peers.

Just my 2 cents, good luck I know it�s a tough choice.

Late to the party.....
St DS8's school 6-12th, the classes are gender separated in 7th and 8th. When they first did this there was an uproar, but grades and test scores have proven that it works.

The thinking is that the girls don't want to be too smart around the boys and tend to dumb down. The boys, hormones raging aren't capable of coherent thoughts with girls in the room....LOL!

They still meet up in the halls between classes and at lunch, so they do get some time together.