Yet, I worry that I might become the mom that expects her children to go to top schools and get top grades and will say or do things that a good mother shouldn't to compensate for my lack of doing anything that earthshattering with my "talent" and degrees. I am stay at home mom now. I feel enormous guilt and as though I didn't live up to expectations. My parents never expected anything of me, but I had more than one teacher say I was one of the most talented student they had encountered in thirty years or more of teaching (I never believed it or felt it and felt those statements were a burden) and they expected me to be famous for my creative writing or SOMETHING, yet I'm a stay at home mom whose energy is consumed with caring for two intense kids and all those accolades seem to belong to someone else. Truth is, I am trying to pass the torch on to my daughters, but trying not to give up on myself.
I guess my answer to that would be find something you do want to do separate from your kids. It could be something as simple as gifted advocacy locally, volunteering, or seeing if it is possible to write for a local paper. It doesn�t mean you have to give up the whole SAHM gig but I�m a firm believer that it�s important for moms to have something of their own whatever that may be. I felt very lost the first year or so after DD was born but once I started going back to work even if it was part-time (or doing stuff at night when she went to bed) it made a world of difference to me. I�m not saying work is the answer but having something of your own is extremely important.
FWIW, I also went through the lack of expectations. They were always supportive of what I did but to the point that it drove me nuts. I wanted them to push me more, push the school etc. But then again I would�ve been really upset if they told me exactly what to do. I�m sure I was a fun teenager
