Our challenge has been learning to work through pain. I only have migraines to deal with and my son has both migraines and daily pain from his scoliosis brace. I used to refuse to do math of any kind if I didn't absolutely have to when I had a migraine because I get a migraine glitch that causes me to make more mistakes. Sometimes words don't come out the way I intended. I told my son that I realized I sometimes "slay" my words when I have a headache. I intended to say slur, but this migraine glitch just happens and I don't have any control over it. My son is not affected verbally as much as I am when he has a migraine, but it does affect his ability to do math without making mistakes that he would not normally make without a migraine. I decided to prove that we can learn to work around the pain and the glitch by slowing down and double checking our work. I often point out my mistakes as I relearn algebra and I tell him that the important thing is to learn how to catch your mistakes. I told him about my experiences working at jobs in payroll and as an accounting analyst and how I managed to do my jobs well by working around the glitches, but I also told him about the boss I once had that yelled at me in front of other employees because I had made a mistake when she forced me, even though I told her I was getting a migraine, to try to keep up the speed that I normally was able to work at. The reality is that there are bullies even in the workplace. There are people who don't understand and won't take the time to learn because they know everything. I told him how I kept looking for a better job and found a very good one, with a boss who let me work around my disability. I was very good at my jobs when allowed to work around the migraines.
My son has to deal with the additional pain of a scoliosis brace. My son's orthotist told us that most people can get used to the pain, but I think most of the people who get used to it do not have sensory issues. My son goes through hours of back pain every single day and my challenge is to try to help him through it. My son kept telling me I didn't understand what it was like wearing it so I wore his old one for an hour while trying to do the things I normally do around the house. The old brace was about my size and of course I couldn't wear it as tight as he had to wear it but I wanted to simulate his experience the best I could so I could better understand what he was going through. I found I couldn't bend over to empty the dishwasher or even sit comfortably without the bottom of it digging into the top of my thighs. It is so uncomfortable that it discourages movement of any kind. I felt trapped because I couldn't breathe as easily. I think it helped my son to see that I was trying to understand. Yesterday my husband started teasing my son and saying he was lazy. I stood up for my son and told him that I didn't think he was lazy at all. I don't see how he does as much as he does. He has to take his brace off for musical theater dance rehearsals.
His orthopedic surgeon says he is supposed to wear the brace for all weight bearing activities but the orthotist says he needs some time out of the brace and I have to make the final decision and hope that I am making the right one so the anxiety that comes from that is also a challenge.
The MRI he had a few days ago was a challenge. I talked to the MRI technician on the phone the day before my son's MRI and I told her the very loud sound the MRI makes was difficult for him the last time and that one of his ear plugs fell out. This MRI was going to take an hour and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable as possible so he could get through it. She told me she would let him listen to music, but she didn't. She didn't offer him a pillow until he told her his head hurt. An ear plug fell out but she told him she couldn't stop the test. He had taken Ibuprofen for a headache but he said the sound made it very painful. It was a bad experience but he made it through. It is challenging for me to not be really angry about the way the MRI technician ignored my concerns, but I will model the appropriate behavior. I will stay calm and write a letter to complain.
