Bronxmom, from my point of view it seems like you should seek help from a professional psychologist. It is not usual for a child to be that consistently defiant, or to have interests that get narrower and narrower, or to be unable to follow instructions at that age.
If your DS is depressed, he should be treated; if something else is going on, it's better to know than not.
In addition to a private psychologist, I think you should call the school district and ask them to evaluate him. He is entitled to this whether or not he goes back to school. It's worth doing because if he needs any special help, the school can fund it, which might lessen your financial concerns.
Best wishes--
DeeDee
