Maybe DS would change his mind once he understands more about "giftedness" and how it means he needs to get the appropriate challenge to make sure the 'gift' does not go to waste?
I think of it a bit differently. I don't think it is the child's responsibility to be sure their 'gift' doesn' 'spoil.' That is the parent's responsibility. (As an older teen that will shift.) Just like I believe that gifted kids don't have a special responsiblity to cure the world's problems - I believe that everyone has responsibility to do what they can to cure the world's problems. It's the parent's job to develop the child's character so that they will want to make a contribution/to be able to make a contribution without oversacrific of self.
There are ways to motivate a child, such as 'think of all the X grade homework you'll never have to do' (for a grade skip) and 'my job is to put you in situations where you get to develop yourself in a way that's right for you, which is why I'm changing your school' or 'I think that more of the kids at the new school will get your jokes' or 'I want you to learn what it's like to be with lots of kids who are as smart as you before you get to college - your Uncle Bob had that happen to him and it totally freaked him out' or try a flat out bribe.
These kids can be tricky to parent, my son was for me, because in 5th grade my son looked, to me, to be better able to reason than most adults I know. This led me to over-rely on 'explaining situations' and getting his agreement. And an under-reliance on 'trust me - I've got years of experience and your best interest at heart.' The truth is that most gifted kids, even highly gifted kids can't really understand the whole situation in an adult-like level. My son was so invested in being treated like he understood more than he did that he became very convincing in nodding at the right times and appearing to capitulate to logic. 'Luckily' when puberty hit he just couldn't maintain that pose anymore. Now I think that the point of talking to kids is to give them words to use later when they look back with a deeper understanding. "Mommy just wants you to have the chance to be in a classroom where you learn how to work at learning." He might hate it at first, but the younger he is exposed to an appropriate challenge, the fewer bad habits he'll have to unlearn.
Another approach is to draw a sort of graph showing what a child is ready to learn. Maybe a baby would be down at the bottom, ready to learn to walk and talk and use big kid underpants, a teen ager could be on the graph ready to learn Calculus and to drive a car. Then you son and his classmates and some kids from older grades and the private school could be placed on the graph, with you child suggesting individual kids and telling you what to write about what they are ready to learn. You could draw in a band of what kids in his current grade/school are doing, and another band across the graph to show what the kids at the other school are learning. Better yet, draw the band to show the current school classroom, and ask your son to draw a band to show the private school classroom. Does he draw the second band with a lot of overlap, or way above the current band.
The main thing is to concentrate on what his classmates current abilities are, and try and dodge, if possible where the paths will end up. This is because the 'late bloomer' is a very real path. And because a full person can't be summed up by a point on a graph - only their learning readiness level!
My .02!
Grinity
