I appreciate you taking time to post and express your reaction both to the site and to your own experience growing up.
Do know that just as you are unique, every kid's experience is unique no matter their IQ. But having a high IQ means that new challenges enter into the general mix of things. Perhaps the ADD diagnosis for you would have been there without the high IQ; perhaps it was ignorance of those around you not knowing the difference between the driven personalities that often accompany a high IQ. I don't know.
I have three kids with high IQ's, and raising them hasn't not been a cookie cutter experience. All three have needed different accommodations, different motivations, and different parenting. I'm sorry for you the right mix never came into being until now, but perhaps your previous experiences that didn't sit well will help you appreciate what you have now in ways you never could have. I have one child that has tried my patience immensely because I feel as a mother he has squandered opportunities that should have been easy for him; it has taken almost 18 years for me to come to the point of accepting that grades will never be a motivator for him - even when it means missed opportunities that might have come with better grades. I've had to work to get him into experiences that do challenge him in ways that motivate him to do better and try harder, and those experiences have all been outside the classroom.
My youngest is the opposite - he pushes beyond his abilities and refuses to give up even when he's in tears with frustration. I have had to downplay poor grades with him, make him understand that the number on the page is not an indicator of his effort or knowledge. Am I a better mom with him because of what I learned by screwing up with the older one? Probably.
But as I jokingly tell my kids - I did my best as a mom from the very best of intentions. So if I screwed you up, with any luck I've at least given you the tools to earn enough to pay for good therapy. They laugh, but they have no idea I actually mean it. Every parent fails in some way, but the parents I see on here? They're trying much harder than your average parent. They're seeking to find answers to give their unique children the very best experience. Some may be misguided, some may be far more wise. But I haven't yet in my time here seen someone who thought they were the cat's meow because of creating a kid with a high IQ. They see the responsibility that came with it and are trying to meet it.
