! These bullies are so sneaky though - one of them has so much 'charm'! ... The 'charmer' got into serious trouble last year for bullying several kids so at least I know that with him the problem is recognized as has been addressed in the past.
My son's never been in a gifted program, but I think there is mention of it here:
Smart Boys: Talent, Manhood, and the Search for Meaning, by Barbara A. Kerr, Sanford J. Cohn, James T. Webb (Contributor), Tom Andersen (Contributor). Great Potential Press Inc. ( 2001).
From Booklist, American Library Association: Ideals of masculinity that stress physical agility over intelligence compel smart boys and men "to ignore the urgings of their intellect and creative selves in order to fulfill socially ordained masculine roles," according to psychologists Kerr and Cohn. Kerr and Cohn cite research and case studies showing many gifted boys don't live up to their potential and suffer social isolation. They examine how intelligence figures in images of American males and look at the developmental stages of gifted boys from infancy to manhood. They also offer guidance to parents on how to nurture gifted boys and overcome their particular challenges, including ambivalence about their gifts and concerns about masculinity. Parents and teachers dealing with particularly bright boys will find this book a useful and encouraging resource
In the regular classroom, some years my son got particular flak from the '2nd smartest boy' who apparently wasn't used to not being the 'first smartest boy.' Can't really call it bullying as DS wasn't about to not match him irritation for irritation. But it seemed such a shame that a potential friend who might 'get' my son seemed determined to have a different relationship.
Later, at a private school that told me 'we don't need a bullying policy, we have an honor code' there was a kid who had already picked on each of the boys in turn and when it was DS's turn, well, DS wasn't about to 'be the bigger man' and just ignore it as the school suggested. We tried to keep them seperated as much as possible physically, and changed schools at the end of the year, not so much because of the bullying, but because I felt the school's response was pathetic. It was awful. One day when the child finally crossed the line and hurt another boy who was clearly not provoking the child in any way, DS felt so validated. I felt sick.
Gotta give credit to our public schools. They have a comprehensive bullying program that teaches the kids from an early age that they have an obligation to stand up for each other, and that if they aren't part of the solution, then they are part of the problem. They even have an anonymous part of the website for reporting bullying behavior.
I have hope that since the 'charmer' was already caught last year that the teachers will at least take is seriously. I love the 'SID' advice. Maybe get the bullies proper accomidations so that they spend a lot of time with older and bigger boys who can hold their own better. Keep them too busy to bother with other kids.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
