Jen, we use Strattera to manage our DS's attention issues. It works well for us, without the ramped-up anxiety that the stimulant-class ADHD meds produce. He also takes a tiny dose of Celexa for anxiety, which radically improved his ability to cope in social situations like the ones you describe at school.
I'm glad you're seeking further evaluation, because meltdowns at school *are* stigmatizing. Is anyone at school teaching him to manage and diminish these? Ultimately he needs to learn strategies to be responsible for his own behavior.
I can't believe the school can't go to a system of choosing teams some other way. Letting the kids pick is barbaric. I know the gym teacher isn't sympathetic, but is there someone you trust there who could broach this to the gym teacher and/or principal? If they are committed to helping your DS, they shouldn't let this slide.
Hang in there,
DeeDee
Thanks Deedee. What dose of Celexa is he taking? Our next step would be an SSRI, according to the doctor. I am hoping the Concerta/Straterra combination works. Although, it would be great if the Straterra alone did the job. I'd love for him not to have to take a stimulant, but I can't imagine how he'd be able to cope at school. His attention issues are significant.
As for the choosing teams thing...even the classroom teacher, who I love, isn't supportive about that. Here was her reply to my email about it:
"Once a week we play dodgeball on the field. Turns are taken for the captains. It is done is a kind fashion and all friends have a great time. I am sorry that N is feeling hurt. He does have the option of not playing and going to the sports court."
We even talked about it in person, and she said it wasn't a big deal and that no feelings were hurt (except my son's). I was very up front about how I feel about this practice. I said it seems archaic and that I was very surprised to hear that people are still doing this, especially in a Montessori school where peace and kindness are priorities.
DS is seen as too sensitive, so they chalk it up to him just being sensitive again. I'm so torn about addressing issues like this. It's hard for me to request that they change the way they do things with everyone just for my child. I do ask for personal accommodations for him, and they are very cooperative with that kind of thing. But, asking them to change how they do things with all of their students is another story. This just makes ds stick out even more. This is definitely where private schools fall short of meeting the needs of kids with special needs. Public school might be required to address his specific needs, but trust me, I have no doubt they'd fall short too.
Today he had a meltdown at my parents' house, and he said, "I am the biggest loser ever. No wonder I don't have any friends." He also made the comment, "Why is everyone always trying to change me?!" I feel so bad for him and so guilty that I'm not helping him adequately. I am so tempted to yank him and homeschool him, but I'm trying not to be impulsive. Not to mention, we'd be out thousands of dollars.
As always, thanks for the support and advice. Hopefully we'll get some answers in January.
