I love the idea of allowing ds to be more of a helper. He really responds to this kind of thing, but is that fair to the other kids? I don't think so, and ds would probably feel strange about having a role that no one else gets. He doesn't want to stand out as different, yet that's exactly what's happening when he has a meltdown.
As a former PE teacher, I will tell this is EXACTLY how I handled a boy in one of my classes. He was most definitely light years above the rest of the boys (5th grade, with special ed inclusion), and I really think this is why he was the most misbehaved. So he became my helper, but ONLY when he behaved. I also had 2 other boys help out throughout class and would rotate who was chosen each day (other than the first boy on the days he behaved). It was truly a perfect solution. He never felt like the only one, and the other boys never felt like I didn't pick them.
