Do you think the school would allow him to be the PE teacher's assistant or coach? How would he feel if he was coaching and encouraging the team? Maybe he would be able to view the sports in a different light and slowing work back into playing. This way he can see all the kids making mistakes and hopefully come to the conclusion that it's okay to make mistakes.
I love this idea, but I'm not sure I see the PE teacher being in agreement. I could be wrong, though.
The PE teacher is female, by the way. Regardless, I think it's true that she's not very motivated to work with ds in a positive way. She mentioned a couple of times in her email about how much "time" my son takes during PE. Does she think that ds's regular teacher is able to help him without taking "time"? I've worked with kids 50 times more difficult than ds, and taking "time" was part of my job. I wonder how she'd do if a kid punched her or threw a chair across the room? Again, that was at public school, and as Deedee mentioned, teachers can't hide out in public school avoiding the "difficult" students.
This particular PE teacher has struggled with how to work with ds in the past. She sometimes makes statements that exacerbate, rather than diffuse, the situation. For example, earlier this week, she told ds that he likely didn't hear her mid-game rule change (shouted out in the middle of an on-going game to add complexity) because he was probably already getting mad and had tuned her out. This was following ds getting upset because he got "out" in a game as a result of not hearing the teacher's directions. I'd be willing to guess he didn't hear the instruction because
HE HAS ADHD and he was already dribbling a basketball and running around an outdoor court with 13 other children! Yes, I'm sure she gave the instruction, and I'm sure he didn't hear it, but how does it help to make a statement like that?
I know it's not acceptable for him to yell or meltdown every time he gets frustrated, but she's just going to have to understand that this is a process. DS is gaining more and more control, the meltdowns are reducing, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Unfortunately for the PE teacher, PE will likely be the last area to improve because ds already dislikes it so much.
Ds's Montessori school, including his regular teacher and the administration, is more than willing to work with him. His classroom teacher is not concerned about how his anxiety affects her. She's worried about him and his happiness. Maybe we just need to meet with the PE teacher and give her some strategies. She probably just doesn't know what to do. I'm sure the counselor can help with that as well.
I do not think ds has asperger's, although some of his "symptoms" do overlap. There are specific reasons that we (including developmental-behavioral pediatrician, psychologist, and counselor) do not think this is likely, but I always keep an open mind.
Ok, I'm so tired now, I think I'm rambling. Thanks again, as always, for the advice and support.
