I don't think sloppy coloring or sloppy writing are relevant for a 4 y.o. Or, for that matter, sloppy speaking, though I suppose it depends on what you mean exactly. (I'm not sure how sloppy thinking would demonstrate itself in a 4 y.o., so I can't speak to that.) My advice would be to keep your expectations age-appropriate in these areas (as for a non-gifted child). I remember feeling similar to the way you are when my oldest was that age; five years and several children later, I expect a lot less (in some ways and possibly more in others) of my young kids than I did of my first child.
It may comfort you to know that while I got in trouble for sloppy coloring in K and always had terrible handwriting, my lackluster fine motor skills played no role in my future success.
I guess one motivation for you may be remembering that your own perfectionism might make your dd's perfectionism worse if you let it slip out. In my house, a couple of the kids have significant perfectionism issues and truly prefer not to learn from me. This is quite frustrating and something you should seek to avoid. Fortunately they have teachers at school to (hopefully) correct their mistakes, but it's not an ideal situation for home learning, and they're often wanting to learn stuff at home that they aren't learning at school.
As for your feelings of competitiveness at school, keep in mind that nothing in their performance in elementary school will have some sort of immediate impact on their college applications. It's the learning itself and the learning process (attempting challenging work?) that are important.
that's my two cents
