We use detangler here, too. DD7 always wants to wear her hair down and it looks like bed-head by lunch. Our rule is that she has to put it up in a ponytail or braid when she goes out... she can do whatever she wants when we are at home. We take her to the dollar store and let her pick out any hair accessories she wants. She always gets to choose what we put in her hair and how she wants it done. On the days that she gets fustrated we give her the option of short hair.
Also, there are super cute ways to cut little girls hair that look very feminine. DD had a reverse bob in grade 1 and it looked fab on her. I wish she would go back to it!
