I think what has helped my DS9 the most socially has been his one on one play dates with nice kids.

One on one with Mom or Dad does alot too. It's like he gets content and can go deal with the rest of the world better. When DS does not get enough one on one with parent it seems to project badly in other areas. Stress from lack of school challenge has carried over to social and physical awareness of others.

I would be interested in what a counselor did to help kids socially, if you care to share what works.