Thanks for all the suggestions. I do see she is worse when she is tired. Also, I have a sister who has been on meds. for at least 20yrs. for depression. I know it can run in families and I have thought that could be a factor. Anytime I brought it up to my fam. they think I'm reading too much into it, trying to find a label for her behavior. I just know that if there is this much stress in the house she can't be happy either. Maybe it is time to seek professional help in helping her. I'll try anything we can't keep going like we are.
We have lots of depression in our family as well and all our doctors have commented on the heriditary nature of it. The depression symptoms in kids are different than adults so that's why your family might not understand. Our psych specializes in gifted and that helps too. He understands the issue of cognitive age vs actual age and helps us to understand why a gifted child could have issues because of it.
I think the biggest thing is to trust your gut. I tried everything and nothing worked. I literally gave up on fixing the behavior and tried to "get by" each day. Then we started with the psych and he gave us some things to try but within a few months we all agreed there was no other option but to try meds. He couldn't get through to her either. Oh, I should mention that the defiance was probably her primary issue.
Meds might not be what your daughter needs but at least having that professional involved could be helpful. I found it comforting to know there was someone else on our team that could help our daughter. It was really good to bounce things off of a professional who understood what we were going through and didn't just think it was a "parenting issue."
