Can any of you recommend how to teach "more appropriate" reactions to feelings? It seems that nearly every suggestion I make in regard to any part of dd or her life or what she's doing is met with an outburst. And then she says all sorts of awful things (along the lines of "you're always mad at me" or "no one likes me" or some such thing, even when approached as gently as possible. and she often hates to be taught anything like this - it makes her feel bad for not having known to begin with). Is there a book she could read that any of you can recommend? Do I need to seek professional help on this? There must be a way...... When I was growing up, my mother was constantly saying that feelings are never right or wrong but actions are. With dd's language issues, I'm not sure she'll really internalize the meaning of that.

Hmmm.... I think you all are onto something here, if I could figure out how to implement that with my own dd....

Val, can you explain the throwing the shoe at the garbage? I think if I said that, the kids would (a) laugh and (b) literally throw shoes at the trash can (and then we may never get the 4 y.o. to stop smile ). But I have a feeling it would be helpful if I could figure out what your mom meant exactly (I'm feeling a little dense this afternoon). thanks!!