We're trying to direct his huge energy levels and love of information ...
Now is the time we find ourselves considering actual school and frankly cannot imagine how it can possibly work.
Have others made it all work school wise? How much of his social developmental delay can be attributed to giftedness? Is there something else going on?
The something else going on is his personality. Picture an intense driven business executive in a 4 year old body.
A wonderful teacher who 'gets' him might make things work, or not, it sort of depends on how much growing ability he has 'under the surface' that wouldn't be seen until it's challenged.
I wouldn't say that he's delayed socially until you put him in a room with other PG 4 year old boys, and then, if he still is looking much less socially able than the others, you can say that. I wish I had advice for how to find a roomful of PG 4 year olds.
Picture taking a 8 year old, who is burning to learn, and who happens to have the emotional maturity of a 4 year old, and place him in a preschool all day. How would you expect that boy to act? I'll bet 5 dollars that your son is doing better than that.
If possible, make the effort to sit in a kindy class now, and see what it's like at the end of the year. Imagine your son there, from the academic point of view. Ask yourself if there anything to be gained for him academically? I don't think academic development is more important than social development, but I sure don't think that it's less important.
Is homeschooling an option?
As for the bathroom, I wonder if he doesn't like to be reminded by you, as that puts him in a '1 down' position. See if you can reward him for being responsible for checking in with himself to see if can perceive a need to go. Say, give him a timer, and tell him that every time he sets it for 20 minutes, and you see him take a breath and ask himself aloud 'do I need to go potty' that you will give him the candy bit, or token towards some reward. My son is 13, so I may be being completely unrealistic about what a 4 year old can do - it's been a long time - but is there someway he can be they guy who checks up on things 'down there?'
My hunch is that all of this is colored by the fact that you are probably exhausted. Work towards rewarding independent play, so that if you have to homeschool, it won't wear you out, ok? Your needs matter too.
Love and more love,
Grinity
